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11-25-2007, 08:07 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NY/MI | |
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wagstaff  when you only practise 3 times in four months before a gig | Quote:
Originally Posted by laboitenoire When you've been together for two years, but it's only you and the guitarist (the case with my band - we can't hold on to drummers or singers).
The only women who care about what happens to the band are your mothers. | yup yup yup... guilty of them and got more:
... your only gigs have been non-paying
... you finally decide the best way to practice/write songs is to record one part then write and record other parts over it
not personal, but i like it:
you have to outsource parts to machines (drums, backing, etc.)
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11-25-2007, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Howlin' Hanson Um, same here, that's why I mentioned it in the first place. | Do we need to form some sort of support group for ourselves and others similarly afflicted?! |
11-25-2007, 02:27 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: BARRACKVILLE WV | | Quote:
Originally Posted by The Owl After a gig, THE DRUM MACHINE gets laid  | The drum machine is the ONLY thing getting laid. |
11-25-2007, 03:22 PM
| | | | I don't play in a band, but I freelance with the best of them and the worst of them. The latter sometimes pay better and I am a shameless whore.
There are NO lame songs. Its all a matter of what you do with it and how well you get paid. "Sweet Home Alabama" rocks with the Leningrad Cowboys & the Red Army Chorus.
When the sax player calls "Giant Steps", I ask if we can do it as a salsa.
I subbed a cajun and Zydeco gig a few weeks ago and there were multiple accordions. It was lame only because audiences need something more sophisticated than 1/5 after several hours. 1/4/5 would be an improvement.
I have played the "Hokey Pokey" and the "Chicken Song" both in one gig and felt no shame.
I have played bluegrass at rest homes; I have played jazz at Luby's cafeteria on Tuesday evenings with a trio, but we followed the clown, instead of opening for him.
I have played gigs where we essentially had to give all our gig money to the featured star, plus pick him up and drive him home.
I subbed a wedding gig (sight unseen) where the leader and his 80 year old piano player showed up an hour late. The piano player rested his keyboard between two chairs and used this little Bose speaker about the size of a computer speaker and didn't know anything done after 1960. And the piano player insisted on eating before he played. I am glad we didnt get beaten up on that gig. I seriously thought about giving my share of the money back to the brides father and apologizing.
My list of 10 Warning Signs of a Lame Band" (I have seen all of these)
1) The band plays the wrong chord changes to the bridge on "Sunshine of Your Love"
2) The band tempo drops 10 BPM every minute until it gets back to the usual 120 BPM that the drummer can handle.
3) Missed hits more than once in a song, especially if the guilty party is sober.
4) The guitard noodles between songs (the usual pentatonic masturbation in E)
5) Band members feel the compulsion to play the first chord or riff to the next song before it starts.
6) The guitarist wants to do a song other than the standard key. "Fine, which key? ". "Well, I don't know, but its a G shaped chord but the capo is three frets up."
7) Band members are not ready to play at the scheduled show time.
8) Musician plays out of tune and doesn't realize it.
9) Band member plays a minor chord instead of a major chord and doesnt realize the error. When you point it out, they ask what the difference is. Same thing with strummers that put the 5 in the bottom of the chord and wonder why it clashes with the bass.
10) Musicians that commit any of the above sins, but want to talk you ear off on the break about how good their gear is.
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There is no "BEST" bass player, bass, amp, effect or whatever. It's only your personal preference.
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11-25-2007, 03:50 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Suburbs of Chicago | | | Zonguy, i can relate to that list of no-no's. I think that the 2nd guitarist in my band doesn't know the difference between major and minor sometimes. The worst is when my drummer sets up his kit (which takes up the whole damn stage), stands back and marvels at in and then noodles around with stupid drum 'solos' while the audience files in. Its loud, its annoying and it puts me in a bad mood! |
11-25-2007, 07:22 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Phoenix. Az. | | You Know You're In A Lame Band When------ all members have sprained ankles... 
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11-25-2007, 07:26 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: SF Bay Area | | | The singer the lead guitar player are married. |
11-25-2007, 07:45 PM
|  | Swamp Yankee | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Smithfield, RI | | | Warming up on-stage through a turned-on amp (before a waiting audience) is a sure way to hobble a band. Right up there with drummers who "warm up" on the kit at rehearsal while stringed instruments are trying to tune... for this reason I got one of those "Intellitouch" tuners that you clip to the headstock, and it reads the strings' vibrations throught the body of the axe.
Does rock / loud music build up calcium in the skull?
__________________ "Whatever we do, it is what it is, and we do it."
-The Grubs.
"Stop practicing!"
-Ray Harris, with a good-natured chuckle...
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11-25-2007, 07:51 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: ST Pete Florida | | | You know youre in a lame band when you only have one fan and its electric |
11-25-2007, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Jeff Martinez Originally Posted by xgabriele
You cover "walking on sunshine"......
Ironically, I am currently arranging a dance/metal cover of this one. | alanis morisette should be strung by a toe nail and publicly flogged  |
11-25-2007, 08:30 PM
| | | | You know you're in a lame band when: at an outdoor gig, in the middle of a song, the female lead singer falls off the stage, lands face down in the mud and no one notices, or helps her back to the stage. |
11-25-2007, 08:30 PM
| | Swamp Yankee | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Smithfield, RI | | | This is great. Now after slumming through this thread I've got "Walking on Sunshine" playing in my head.
Ew...
__________________ "Whatever we do, it is what it is, and we do it."
-The Grubs.
"Stop practicing!"
-Ray Harris, with a good-natured chuckle...
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11-25-2007, 08:48 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: WHINE-DER, GEEE-A | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Modulrob alanis morisette should be strung by a toe nail and publicly flogged | 
it's "Katrina and The Waves".
btw, it's not lame if you're playing that song in New Orleans, just in bad taste.
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11-26-2007, 08:17 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Earth | | It's a lame band when the drummer has to watch me play to keep time.  |
11-26-2007, 08:39 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: North Carolina, USA | | | You know you're in a lame band when the band has to take a break every 30 mintues so half of your bandmates can get tooted up once again. |
11-26-2007, 08:46 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Auckland NZ | | | when the whole town signs a petition for you to stop |
11-26-2007, 09:03 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Detroit area, Troy, MI | | | You know you're in a lame band when you've just finished playing "Three Times A Lady" in 4/4 time because the drummer started in 4/4, couldn't switch to 3/4 on the fly, and refused to stop and start again because "people will notice something is wrong" if you do....
Randy
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11-26-2007, 09:19 PM
| | Swamp Yankee | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Smithfield, RI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by B4snrise It's a lame band when the drummer has to watch me play to keep time. | You better not let him down! 
__________________ "Whatever we do, it is what it is, and we do it."
-The Grubs.
"Stop practicing!"
-Ray Harris, with a good-natured chuckle...
|
11-27-2007, 02:51 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Killakee | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Bassie This is great. Now after slumming through this thread I've got "Walking on Sunshine" playing in my head.
Ew... | same here brother
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11-27-2007, 06:35 AM
| | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Roanoke, Va | | | I am in a lame band! So here you go......
1. When the guitar player/lead singer starts to play and sing "In the Jail House Now" off of the Brother where Art Though" sound track...while doing a silly dance, and thinks the rest of us is gonna' jump in
2. All of your songs are a 1/2 step down and in the same key
3. Yes we cover "come together" and the rolling stones "slave"
4. When you request a song with more "arse" to it and the best they (the guitarist and drummer) can come up with is Santa Monica....oh geeze!!!
5. When the guitar player dropped down D to play "midnight rider" and thinks it jams
6. When the guitar player just wants you to play the root notes so he can sound better
7. When you spend 6 hours at practice and only play 4-5 songs...cuz it turns into a party
8. When I have only been playing again for 4 months after quitting for 15 years and they think Im the "bomb" and I know I suck
9. The drummers wife brings us snacks..... | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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