You Know You're Too Old for the Gig When...

[Dan Knowlton]

Is it ALL of them, or just some of them?

• It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
• Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
• All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
• All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
• You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist.
• Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
• You lost the directions to the gig.
• You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• The waitress is your daughter.
• You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
• Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
• You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
• You refuse to play without earplugs.
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
• Your gig stool has a back.
• You're related to at least one member in the band.
• You don't let any one sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig.
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light.
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You hope the host's speech lasts forever.
• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.
• Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar because they're younger than your daughter.
• You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
• You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it.

Just to make this clear - these are NOT my originals! But I can relate to about 25% of them!

[ExaltBass]

ALL of the above

[doktorfeelgood]

I'm 59 and I play in a Blues band that averages around 3 gigs a month, usually more in the warm weather, and I can relate to about a quarter of those things you listed. But I can still do it and will continue to do it for probably another 5 years or so or as long as I can still move my own gear.
One thing you forgot to mention is STAIRS....I HATE clubs that are either on the second or third floor or (BIG BUMMER) in the basement. The basement gigs are always sucky for me 'cause you gotta bring the stuff UP the stairs at the end of the night when everything seems twice as heavy...LOL
Yup, it sucks getting old. You didn't happen to tell us how old you are...? )-(

[deaf pea]

Originally Posted by Dan Knowlton

Is it ALL of them, or just some of them?...

For ME, it's just SOME of them . . .

Originally Posted by Dan Knowlton

...

• You lost the directions to the gig.
• You need glasses to see the amp settings. BUT DON'T HAVE ANY
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your case.
• You don't let any one sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig...you go to the bus to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light.
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
• You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it.

[Marley's Ghost]

Your son drives you to the gig and helps you carry your gear.

[esoxhntr]

Cute girls tell you that you remind them of their favourite uncle.

[Lonnybass]

Your "after party" consists of watching a Discovery Channel special while resting on a heating pad.

Lonnybass

[deaf pea]

Originally Posted by doktorfeelgood

...Yup, it sucks getting old...

True . . .

And worse still . . . is how I feel that I'm just STARTING to get good at this, and my body can't keep up!

FWIW, we're doing Oxnard, LA (Sports Arena, 4th time now), San Jose, Atlanta, Birmingham, Memphis, Denver, Phoenix, Anaheim, Yakima, Seattle and Portland in April . . . I'll let y'al know how I feel after all that!

[Vic Winters]

Originally Posted by Dan Knowlton

Is it ALL of them, or just some of them?

• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.

I know I've ripped on a few of the older TBers in the MarkBass threads for this exact same thing. All in good fun of course. I wouldn't want you guys to wave your spalted maple canes in anger.

[mark roberts]

Originally Posted by Dan Knowlton

Is it ALL of them, or just some of them?

• It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
• Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
• All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
• All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
• You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist.
• Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
• You lost the directions to the gig.
• You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• The waitress is your daughter.
• You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
• Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
• You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
• You refuse to play without earplugs.
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
• Your gig stool has a back.
• You're related to at least one member in the band.
• You don't let any one sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig.
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light.
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You hope the host's speech lasts forever.
• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.
• Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar because they're younger than your daughter.
• You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
• You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it.

Heh-heh...not far from the truth. Kind of interesting...last gig, a person told me in-confidence that she had witnessed people s reactions to the gray/silver locks of the lead guitarist and me (we've played together for about 30 years and seem to be eternally connected of-mind when playing live) in a questionably negative way. Then they hear us play and the extreme energy that we bring to the music and it's like all that negative stuff goes away...the same way it's been for all those years. Doesn't matter their age, either. We've been in several bands together, and it's the same. He's 56 this year, I'm 55. The drummer is about 50 and the other singer/guitarist is 51. The lead singer is 41 and is your 6'2" lady magnet with a great voice. So far, it's working and so are we...making money.

Oh, and I hit the gym regular like. I use 1/2 of my rig live and can bury current Marshall stacks (even though I'd like to have a Super Bass or Major double stack and a Thunderbird for old time's sake). And I can move 'em around myself and have enough (power, stamina and funds) in-reserve to handle any application. Not so when I started...I was performing Classic Rock when it wasn't classic....on amps/speakers that lacked power and were just learning bass voicing.

[nsmar4211]

LOL some of those apply to musicians I know that I would not consider too old to gig......

I already wear glasses so enjoy giving the guitar player a hard time when he has to put the glasses on to read the PA settings.... but when push comes to shove I just read em to him now.

Great list........

[ksandvik]

I would modify this one, from:

You refuse to play without earplugs.

To

You don't hear the other band members concerning when to start, because you were too stupid as young, not wearing earplugs.

--Kent

[lefty007]

Originally Posted by Dan Knowlton

Is it ALL of them, or just some of them?

• It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
• Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
• You lost the directions to the gig.
• You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
• You refuse to play without earplugs.
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
• You don't let any one sit in.
• You need a nap before the gig.
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light.
• You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
• You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.
• Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar because they're younger...

I can relate to all these. . . I'm "only" 37, but I definitely feel old sometimes. Specially, about playing so late and so loud. I feel like I haven't had a Friday or Saturday off in years!

[doktorfeelgood]

Originally Posted by deaf pea

True . . .

And worse still . . . is how I feel that I'm just STARTING to get good at this, and my body can't keep up!

FWIW, we're doing Oxnard, LA (Sports Arena, 4th time now), San Jose, Atlanta, Birmingham, Memphis, Denver, Phoenix, Anaheim, Yakima, Seattle and Portland in April . . . I'll let y'al know how I feel after all that!

+100 on that...I've been feeling like that for awhile now.
But I try to use it as a positive. At least we're at a point that we can be considered "good" so I try to use that as positive energy to keep going. As much hassle as it can be on any given gig, I greatly look forward to playing every night. Especially now that I'm working with an awesome drummer because every gig is a lot of fun and we're both pushing each other to be better. )-(

[Pilgrim]

I'll confess to these>

Originally Posted by Dan Knowlton

• You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You refuse to play without earplugs.
• You buy amps considering their weight.

I'm 57, coming up 58 in June. I've tweaked my back carrying my bass cab in, and now I don't do it by myself - I wait for another band member and we each take a handle. And I now know that weight matters.

I do, however, remember carrying a 1967-vintage 2x15 Fender bass cab up two flights of stairs at gigs in the early 70's. I wouldn't even ATTEMPT to do that by myself now. (Although I am trying to find the SOB that added 30 pounds of lead weight to that cab sometime during the last 30 years. I just KNOW it's heavier than it used to be.)

But I haven't played without earplugs since about 1973.

[ThunderLizard]

How about when the Clarinet player pulls you aside and tells you that you're just not cutting it?
Time to check out!!

[canshaker]

Gotta add one:

When you're talking to girls after the show, you realize that you're old enough to be their father.

[deaf pea]

Originally Posted by canshaker

Gotta add one:

When you're talking to girls after the show, you realize that you're old enough to be their father.

Or worse still . . . that you're old enough to be their GRANDFATHER!!

[dave64o]

.... When people in the audience keep asking the sound man to turn it UP!

[fokof]

...when you can't put these pants 'cause of the diaper.
...on your brake between sets , you check your cholesterol.