You might be too old to gig if .....

[flyman]

Your gig stool needs to have a back.



You need a nap before the gig.



The waitress is actually your daughter.



All your fans get up and leave by 9:30 p.m.



You feel like hell before the gig even starts.



You prefer a music stand with a light.



It's more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.



Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.



All you want from groupies is a nice foot massage and back rub.



You like taking the elevator since you can sing along with most of your playlist.



Instead of adding another member, your band wants to hire a roadie.



You forgot where you put the directions to the gig.



You need your glasses to see the amp settings.



You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.



You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.



Most of your crowd just sits and sways in their seats.



You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.



You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.



You refuse to play without wearing earplugs.



You're related to at least one member in the band.



You hope the host's speech lasts forever.



You never let anyone else sit-in on a tune.



After the third set, you ask the club manager to let you quit early.



During the breaks, you go to your van to lie down and rest your eyes.



You don't recover from the gig until Tuesday afternoon.



You buy amps because of their weight, not their tone or cool factor.



You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days.



You can remember at least seven different club names for the same location.



You feel guilty looking at hot women at the bar since they're younger than your daughter

[Mr. Mig]

When you need a handrail to get on and off the stage.

[COOL AND DEADLY]

When asked the question "Boxers or briefs?" you respond- "Depends."

[ghiadub]

you say things to younger band members like;
"I remember when we used to do lines off strippers naked bodies"
"you missed the golden age of groupies (pre AIDS)"
"do we need to play this loud?"

[gweimer]

Between blod clots and bad knees, you have to sit most of the night.
You lose the feeling in your left arm after a few songs, and have to work it out as you play.

...even then, you're telling yourself, "I can probably do this for another year or so".

[billbern]

Your singers parents come to the gig and you're older than they are.

[pedulla-2007]

They quit making your bass equipment 30 yrs ago.

[Richland123]

You can't remember the notes and words to songs you learned new 40 years ago and never stopped playing them.

You spend time making up cheat sheets so you can play the songs but forget where you put them.

You learned most of the songs on your setlist when they were new and now they are called oldies and classics.

[Richland123]

You have to stop in the middle of a set to go pee.

[bassyeah]

You don't stop in the middle of a set to go pee... you just use your depends!

[dmusic148]

You won't do club gigs anymore because that would mean driving at night.

[Steve]

The drugs you have stashed are now prescription and legal.

[Greyvagabond]

You have to hussel your gear offstage after your second set so the club can bring out the tables for dinner.

[Bassmickeyd]

This ones really stupid;
"You refuse to play without wearing earplugs."

Maybe you're an idiot if you don't care if you go deaf.

Maybe you're too young to gig.
If ever lick you know you've learned off of TAB.
If you carpool to the gig not to save money but because you don't have your license.
If you've had Christmas dinner with everyone in the audience.

[Renaissance]

Hey, hey, hey!

That's all getting a little too close for comfort.

[Greyvagabond]

You're idea of a Cougar has a wheel-mounted oxygen tank.

[Stickk]

Originally Posted by ghiadub

you say things to younger band members like;
"I remember when we used to do lines off strippers naked bodies"
"you missed the golden age of groupies (pre AIDS)"
"do we need to play this loud?"

[Richland123]

You hire a 45 year old in the band to appeal to a younger audience.

[thudstaff23]

Originally Posted by Greyvagabond

You're idea of a Cougar has a wheel-mounted oxygen tank.

That is too funny!!

[bassandbeyond]

Your drugs are now keeping you alive instead of killing you.