| You must be a guitar player if …..
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You must be a guitar player if …..
- You write songs about playing guitar
- Your girlfriend got a new G-Sting and you ask “phosphor bronze or nickel wound?”
- You injure your arm or finger and the first question you ask is “Will I be able to play guitar?”
- Air guitar is your second favorite instrument
- You have calluses on your fingers for life
- You tie your shoes up with high gauge strings
- You go through more strings than girlfriends
- Your dad comes home and says he dented the fender and you immediately go and check your Strat
- You can play “Stairway” on any stringed instrument
- You like to figure out TV show themes just to kill time
- You stopped playing a song because of a mistake that no one else noticed
- You take more than one guitar on a 3 day vacation
- No matter where you are, you’re within 5 inches from a tray of picks
- You remember you guitar’s birthday and forget your mom’s
- There is always somebody knocking on your bedroom door telling you to keep it down
- People are concerned when they see you without your instrument
- You are more worried about breaking a finger than breaking a leg
- You may not have cash in your wallet, but you always have picks
- You missed two meals in a row trying to “tab out” a song
- You have a shrine to Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Van Halen, and Randy Rhodes in your basement
- You spend more time with your guitar than your family, wife, girlfriend, or kids
- You pull out more picks than change from your pocket
- You feel guilty for cheating when you play another guitar
- You hide gear from your wife and kids.
- You spend more money on your guitar than your clothes.
- You start selling Christmas gifts for money to buy gear
- You start doing homework at Guitar Center
- You can read guitar tabs better than a comic book.
- You hang around someone you hate only to use their gear
- You are financing a guitar
- You see someone fingering chords and can tell what they are playing
- Your parents have to tape you to your bed at night so you won't start doing air-guitar solos in your sleep and hurt yourself
- You get angry if you hear "Smoke On The Water" played on any other instrument
- You spend all of your time looking at guitars even though you can’t buy them
- You would rather have a new guitar than a new car
- You stand in a music shop and decide that you will buy "that guitar...no wait that one!...oooh that one....no wait...that one there...." etc., etc. for 5 hours
- You go into Guitar Center and every one knows your name because you go in there so much, yet you’ve never bought anything from there
- You go to a magazine stand and pick up the latest issue of Guitar World before the latest issue of Playboy
- You hear a song and you can name the guitarist in the band, what guitar he plays, and what amp he uses
- You totally ignore the "may cause serious injury to eyes or face" warning on the package when you change strings
- You had a girlfriend tell you to choose between your guitar or her and you chose the guitar
- Your girlfriend has ever broken up with you because you spend more time with something that you've named a Girl's name
- You get into a car with you're friend & He says "I Gotta buy a New Axe" & You go to a Guitar Center instead of a Home Depot
- You can't fit into your bedroom because it's full of large guitar amps, guitar cases & guitars on stands
- You own is a 1973 Chevelle SS & the Rear window has Stickers that are like "Fender", "Ibanez", "Peavey", "Gibson USA", "Ernie Ball", Etc and that is the only car you own
- Your favorite song is something like "Eruption by Eddie Van Halen", or "Cliffs of Dover by Eric Johnson" when somebody asks what is your favorite song
- You get excited to hear your friend's Dad got a new pickup
- You fail math class, but you've memorized the equations for converting tube wattage ratings into solid state
- You have gear in your trunk worth more than your car
- You are dreaming about your next rig while unpacking the one that just arrived today
- You see a band and you just think "I'm so much better than this guy, why didn't they hire me?"
- You see a band and go to the stage just to see what guitars, effects, and amps the band is using
- You go to bed and take your guitar and play it until you literally start sleeping on the guitar
- You try to match the pitch of your guitar with a vacuum cleaner
- You can sing guitar solos
- You look under your bed and you see a guitar case, a full stack, and a pedal rack
- You have your 4 year old son playing Master of Puppets, but he can't count past 12
- You tell your friends you can’t go out because you want to stay in with your guitar and practice
- You have GAS (Gear Acquisition Syndrome)
- You sold a car to buy a new guitar
- You go to a party at someone's house, find the guitar that nobody ever plays, tune it by ear, complain about how old the strings are and take requests for the rest of the night
- You carry photos of your guitars in your wallet
- You have more photos of your guitars than your kids
- You go into a music store, stay there three hours, and still not buy anything
- You have lost a pick in every room of the house
- Your drycleaner hands you 2 bags instead of 1 when you pick up your clothes. One containing your clothes and another containing a bunch of picks.
- You have more picks than you do shirts
- Your guitar costs more than your car
- You are reading this list with a guitar on your knee | 
