Are you put off by stupidity in musician ads?

[spade2you]

I think we've all seen bands looking for "base" players, perhaps a few looking for a "guitarest". I've also noticed that most local metal bands have interesting ways to spell Iron Maiden. I've seen a few Iron Maydon and Iron Madien, etc. If they look too dumb do you even apply???

Here's a local example of zero punctuation (feel free to add stuff, but don't post names)
"need some kind of band i just dont know the name of the style i mean yeah its melodic and also mixed with metal death metal grindcore metal all that thrash metal as well cant forget that but im looking for a whole new band time to start fresh been playing the guitar for 11 years now have a standard yamaha guitar but hooked it up with emg 80s and 85s have my own amp loud as hell i have a drumset tamas double kicker and what not have a bass amp and bass guitars if needed and a amp for a singer to use i just really want to pull my head out my ass and start working with others to maybe one day grow into something great give me a call if you are a guitarist bassist drummer or melodic singer and a hell of a diffrent screamer its like chopped and screwed metal like pauses and more technique i dont know yall have to hear it lates"

[baba]

Yes, it's the first step in the screening process.

[CapnSev]

Originally Posted by baba

Yes, it's the first step in the screening process.

+1

It's also a red flag when an ad says: "I'm looking for a base player, drummer, lead guitar, keys..." Dude, you have nothing.

[scottbass]

Originally Posted by CapnSev

It's also a red flag when an ad says: "I'm looking for a base player, drummer, lead guitar, keys..." Dude, you have nothing.

Yeah, even if the ad is looking for a bassist AND a drummer it's pretty obvious there is no band yet.

[Thunderthumbs73]

Originally Posted by spade2you

I think we've all seen bands looking for "base" players, perhaps a few looking for a "guitarest". I've also noticed that most local metal bands have interesting ways to spell Iron Maiden. I've seen a few Iron Maydon and Iron Madien, etc. If they look too dumb do you even apply???

Here's a local example of zero punctuation (feel free to add stuff, but don't post names)
"need some kind of band i just dont know the name of the style i mean yeah its melodic and also mixed with metal death metal grindcore metal all that thrash metal as well cant forget that but im looking for a whole new band time to start fresh been playing the guitar for 11 years now have a standard yamaha guitar but hooked it up with emg 80s and 85s have my own amp loud as hell i have a drumset tamas double kicker and what not have a bass amp and bass guitars if needed and a amp for a singer to use i just really want to pull my head out my ass and start working with others to maybe one day grow into something great give me a call if you are a guitarist bassist drummer or melodic singer and a hell of a diffrent screamer its like chopped and screwed metal like pauses and more technique i dont know yall have to hear it lates"

The most offensive is not even misspelling, but those morons whose ads are simply something like this:
"Need a bass player. Call ###-###-####"

I've seen, and continue to see ads like this ALL the time.

Like all bass players are so hard up for gigs that the absolute, minimum of details is supposed to drum up interest? Anyway, I'm not "hard to get" but I am asking for a little respect and thought that should be part of any ad. While bassists who answer ads ARE trying to serve themselves, they are also helping others, and the best arrangements are where not only is the band auditioning the bassist, but the bassist is auditioning the band. It's a mutual thing, and that seems to be forgotten quite often, or never acknowledged in the first place.

[T-MOST]

Thats America's "no child left behind" program in action. I bet most of the errors "were not" made on purpose.

[Chebass88]

The prevalent misuse of spelling and grammar on the internet is abominable. There are folks like myself who are offended by such atrocities, and would never patronize those bands.

Whether the errors were made intentionally or not, there is no excuse for writing like that. Just because there is no teacher to mark it with a red pen (or green or purple pen so as not to injure the author's "feelings"), it does not make it any less incorrect.

Ugh, and to think I spent the effort to type this rant against the impending wave of internet ignorance.

imp.

[phoenix742]

Originally Posted by baba

Yes, it's the first step in the screening process.

+1

I also love those phone calls you get after placing a "bassist available" ad.

Me: "Hello?"
Weirdo: "Hey, are you the bassist?"
Me: "Yes..."
Weirdo: "Dude, I'm a DRUMMER!"

I think you can figure out how the rest of the conversation went.

[SuperDuck]

I'm usually put off by people that list every genre under the sun in an effort to show they're "diverse" but I read as "not really knowing what you're doing", especially when they throw in "jazz" with all the rest.

"We're starting up a ska/rock/funk/metal/reggae/jazz group..."

[Rattlehead]

Originally Posted by spade2you

....
Here's a local example ....
"need some kind of band i just dont know the name of the style i mean yeah its melodic and also mixed with metal death metal grindcore metal all that thrash metal as well cant forget that but im looking for a whole new band time to start fresh been playing the guitar for 11 years now have a standard yamaha guitar but hooked it up with emg 80s and 85s have my own amp loud as hell i have a drumset tamas double kicker and what not have a bass amp and bass guitars if needed and a amp for a singer to use i just really want to pull my head out my ass and start working with others to maybe one day grow into something great give me a call if you are a guitarist bassist drummer or melodic singer and a hell of a diffrent screamer its like chopped and screwed metal like pauses and more technique i dont know yall have to hear it lates"

Damn. I'd join that band just for kicks.

[spade2you]

Originally Posted by T-MOST

Thats America's "no child left behind" program in action.

Hard to blame the No Child Left Behind Program when it's an old dude!

[Just J]

Reading that, I can almost hear a teenager with a wicked case of ADHD rambling on and on.

I'm with CheBass, at least TRY to use correct spelling and grammar.

[CapnSev]

Originally Posted by SuperDuck

I'm usually put off by people that list every genre under the sun in an effort to show they're "diverse" but I read as "not really knowing what you're doing", especially when they throw in "jazz" with all the rest.

"We're starting up a ska/rock/funk/metal/reggae/jazz group..."

That is so true.

[LumpyGravy]

Is that ad from the Recycler in California. I see those all the time. The best ones are the ones that have always and forever will be there. "need a bass player" for a couple years.........
Maybe there is a reason they need one,
They suck
They are cocky
Drug addicts

I used to audition a lot when I first came out to CA. It was like a party and maybe we can play music. I was so disgusted. Mostly because my geography wasn't that great and I put a lot of wasted miles on my van.

I did manage to find a band. Been with them since 2001.

[COOL AND DEADLY]

I was an English major in college. It bugs me too. I like to search "base guitar" on Ebay because sometimes a nice "base" will slip through without a lot of bids. Of course I realize the seller is not a bassist. Speaking of English, does anyone know how to say "piezo?" I figured it was PEE- AY - ZO, but I heard someone say PIE - ZO.

[spade2you]

Originally Posted by LumpyGravy

Is that ad from the Recycler in California.

Mine wasn't.

Although one of the dumbest looking ads I ever saw was doing a ton of casino gigs that paid big. The guy made Forest Gump look like Einstein, but I figured a moron like that would have trouble walking through an open doorway. Nope, he somehow formed a band and did very well. That's my luck for ya!

Not necessarily stupid, but my drummer and I once jammed with a dude who was blown away with what we were doing. A few weeks later he posted an ad describing us 100%, even stating that he wanted a fretless 5-6 stringer, but with the caveat of musicians "who do as they're told!". My drummer and I got a kick out of that.

[Parabolic Box]

Originally Posted by COOL AND DEADLY

I was an English major in college. It bugs me too. I like to search "base guitar" on Ebay because sometimes a nice "base" will slip through without a lot of bids. Of course I realize the seller is not a bassist. Speaking of English, does anyone know how to say "piezo?" I figured it was PEE- AY - ZO, but I heard someone say PIE - ZO.

It's pee-ay-zo. I pronounce it pie-zo, or else people don't know what I'm talking about.

[spade2you]

Originally Posted by Parabolic Box

It's pee-ay-zo. I pronounce it pie-zo, or else people don't know what I'm talking about.

Definitely the first one becuse it means "under foot" from the latin word "pie" (pee ay).

[mjolnir]

I weep for our nation's future.

[Joey3313]

Originally Posted by mjolnir

I weep for our nation's future.

Yeah, I miss the good old days before these youngster's invented misspelling!