Bass/Music Jokes!!!

[Nathan Parker]

Thanks for breakin' it down, Marcus. I was overthinkin' it. Hard to do, in my case, but it can happen nonetheless.

[Marcus Johnson]

Originally Posted by Jake deVilliers

AX honey, if you're going to call someone a douchebag, please have the wit to spell the ****ing word correctly!

Thank you

More importantly, if you're going to call one of the planet's best jazz bassists a "deuchebag" in a public forum, you will first have to go out and get me some smokes and a chicken pot pie, take twenty years to grow some body hair, and then come back with some clips of your own playing, and then MAYBE you can get away with saying that, misspellings notwithstanding.

IMHO

Sorry, Chris. I had to do that.

[bobalew]

Originally Posted by Marcus Johnson

... we tune up once a year, whether we need to or not. Dangerously close to the truth in my case.

Twice for me in a year when I change strings. '79 and '92 so far. But that's me.

[Marcus Johnson]

Spiros, I'm guessin?

[bobalew]

[Nathan Parker]

Coming from the land of gut, that's not a pleasure I know. But, it is familiar memory from when I had spiros.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by Marcus Johnson

More importantly, if you're going to call one of the planet's best jazz bassists a "deuchebag" in a public forum, you will first have to go out and get me some smokes and a chicken pot pie, take twenty years to grow some body hair, and then come back with some clips of your own playing, and then MAYBE you can get away with saying that, misspellings notwithstanding.

IMHO

Sorry, Chris. I had to do that.

Being "one of the planet's best jazz bassists" doesn't necessarily make you a wonderful person. I can't speak to Paul W's personality, but it is well known that some of the best musicians have been assholes. Buddy Rich comes to mind.

[kesslari]

Back on topic...

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

No difference - it's really the same instrument, it's just that the violinist's head is bigger...

[Nathan Parker]

Originally Posted by kesslari

Back on topic...

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

No difference - it's really the same instrument, it's just that the violinist's head is bigger...

That pleased me.

[Marcus Johnson]

Okay, since we're pickin' on the string section;

Q.) What's the difference between a cello and a coffin?

A.) A coffin's got the stiff on the inside.

[Marcus Johnson]

Originally Posted by dar512

I can't speak to Paul W's personality, but it is well known that some of the best musicians have been assholes. Buddy Rich comes to mind.

I can. PW is not a douchebag. It's possible that he owns a douchebag.

Also, I've known a lot of guys who passed through Buddy's band, and most of them said that he was very warm and generous. "The Bus Tape", unfortunately, is what many people base their opinions of Buddy Rich on.

[MT Spaces]

Since Pee Dubb earlier admonished us here to keep the jokes related to Basses .... I modified a banjo joke to keep Him happy .....

A Highway Patrol Officer was investigating reports of road debris out on a rural 2-lane and came upon a busted-squashed cheap-chinese P-Bass knock-off and then further down the road .... a dead skunk. What was the difference between these two roadkills ??

There were skid marks in front of the skunk.

P.S. Pee Dubb-(bag) .... If you need any Boyz to help straighten anyone out visa-vee you gettin' dis-respected around here, the Professional Bull Riders Tour is in town right now at the County Fair. I could talk to a couple of them for you .

[Treyzer]

Originally Posted by Marcus Johnson

More importantly, if you're going to call one of the planet's best jazz bassists a "deuchebag" in a public forum, you will first have to go out and get me some smokes and a chicken pot pie, take twenty years to grow some body hair, and then come back with some clips of your own playing, and then MAYBE you can get away with saying that, misspellings notwithstanding.

IMHO

Sorry, Chris. I had to do that.

+1 and True dat!

Ax darling, pay some dues, do something, get hired by a few heavies and show us what you got; Then, and only then, you may have the gravitas to back up such a snarky little comment.

Buddy Rich....... I've known some guys who were in his band. I've heard the tapes a few times (very funny if you're in the right mood) and I saw him play up close a few times. He could be very charming, he could also very uncharming (I know this isn't really a word) if it suited him.

[axaneel]

Originally Posted by Jake deVilliers

AX honey, if you're going to call someone a douchebag, please have the wit to spell the ****ing word correctly!

Thank you

No wit involved. I don't claim to be a scholar, i just dont like to see people acting that way without at least hearing it.

[rcarraher]

Originally Posted by Marcus Johnson

Maybe he's German.

Could be but, then wouldn't it be Deutche? Like in Deuthce Bank? Or is there a difference?

[axaneel]

Originally Posted by Treyzer

+1 and True dat!

Ax darling, pay some dues, do something, get hired by a few heavies and show us what you got; Then, and only then, you may have the gravitas to back up such a snarky little comment.

Buddy Rich....... I've known some guys who were in his band. I've heard the tapes a few times (very funny if you're in the right mood) and I saw him play up close a few times. He could be very charming, he could also very uncharming (I know this isn't really a word) if it suited him.

Sorry for getting so out of line guys, no sarcasm involved, my apologies for distracting the thread and Paul, my apologies, i need to be more careful about how offensive some of my thoughts are.

We bassists should'nt fight among ourselves, lets go back to us vs. the rest of the musical society XD

Don't let a good thread die.
BRING FORTH THE JOKES

[Obe]

OK, back on topic...a non-musician friend told me this one last night, old but what the heck...What do you call a bass player with an IQ of 70? Gifted.

[fergus currie]

Here's a true story: A rich girl who was learning the bass spent a small fprtune on a bass and brought it for a fellow student to see. He tried it out and found it to be terrible! She has been suckered and the bass was in fact worthless. He played it a bit for her to hear at a distance then close up, some high notes then some low strings. She played it too and he listened. Down heartened the fellow student didn't want to tell her straight out, so he told her, 'This could be the start of something big, you know!' The girl quite excitedly asked, 'really?' The fellow student replied, 'Yeah like a bonfire!'
I was there!!! I don't think the girl spoke to him again but she now plays in the Scottish Ensemble!
Oh, did I mention?, the fellow student was me!
I used to be so caustic

[MT Spaces]

Originally Posted by axaneel

Sorry for getting so out of line guys, no sarcasm involved, my apologies for distracting the thread and Paul, my apologies, i need to be more careful about how offensive some of my thoughts are.

We bassists should'nt fight among ourselves .....

OK AX .... You passed "The Test" ..... You have been Torched ... And Have Grovelled-in The-Dirt-Proper.

We all-agree .... Us (double) bassists must git-along. Now that I have defended Pee-Dubb ..... I can also-say he is a Real-Dick to New-Borns that wander into Here . I sure like his Western-ess, history, insights, venom, playing, and pink-pumps. No problem Ax .... We all defend each-other around This Place .... And we will defend You "the next time".

OK .... Another lame-banjo-joke Converted ....

"What has 12 legs and 8 teeth? .....

The front row of a jazz-sax-workshop."

[Marcus Johnson]

PW has left the building. His tag line now reads "no longer an active member of TB by my own choice".



PS... Sorry... I guess I just sucked all the remaining life out of this thread.