good joke!!

[jonn_]

Funny joke about bass players. Can be turned on any instrumentalist.

What do Bass Players get on their SAT's.
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Drool.


hahahaha.

can be used anyway
What do ________
players get on their SAT's.

pull this one on your friends

[reedo35]

Hey, did you Hear about the Bass player who locked his keys in the car? It took a half hour to get the drummer out!

Did you hear about the Bass player who was so out of tune his section noticed?

A Bass player dies and goes to heaven (of course)When he gets to the pearly gates, St. Peter say,s "I see you are a Bass Player, we have an opening in the Divine Orchestra. Be at rehearsal at 7:00 tonight.He gets there and he sees a
divine figure waving his arms around in a rehearsal room. The Bass player turns to another angel and say's "Who is that?" the angel says "Oh, that's God. Sometimes he likes to pretend he's Toscanini".

[ron_moore]

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?


A: None. The keyboard player does it with his left hand.


rim shot please!

[jazzbo]

I thought the answer was:

1...5...1...5...5...1

[JohnL]

I tried to avoid it, but I may as well add a few more directed at OTHER members of the band:

RE: Changing a light bulb:

- How many lead singers? Only one, he hangs on and lets the rest of the world revolve around him.

-How many drummers? None, they have machines that do it for them now.

-How many lead guitarists? The light is off, but no one's home.

-How many union roadies? 47...you got a problem with that?

[~Loxley~]

Q- How many solo guitarists?

A- Eleven. One to screw it in and ten others standing around telling each other how much better they could have done it.


Now let's have a real oldie:

Q- What do you call someone who hangs around a bunch of musicians?

A- A drummer

[jvtwin]

Q: What do you call a drummer who lost his girlfriend?

A: Homeless

Q: How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door?

A: The knock gets progressively faster.


(couldn't help myself)

[72beetle]

q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a: 2, but you gotta get them in there first.

-72

[rickbass]

How do you get a guitarist off of your porch?

Tip him when you pay for the pizza.

[Chris Fitzgerald]

What's the difference between a professional musician and a large pizza?





A large pizza can feed a family of four.

[Monte]

You're all ignoring the wind instruments. How about;
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
A: Stick your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes.

Q: How do you get two soprano saxes to play in tune?
A: Shoot one.

Define a minor 2nd interval.
A: 2 clarinets trying to play in unison.

And my favorite drummer joke: A drummer got so depressed after being fired from the band for dragging the tempo that he went out and threw himself behind a train.

Monte

[erik II]

Originally posted by ~Loxley~
Q- How many solo guitarists?

A- Eleven. One to screw it in and ten others standing around telling each other how much better they could have done it

Or: Ten others standing around agreeing that the old one was better.

[merlin]

Originally posted by reedo35
Hey, did you Hear about the Bass player who locked his keys in the car? It took a half hour to get the drummer out!

Phhftt! thats because its a drummer! Its amazing he figured out how to actually get into the car in the first place!

Merls

[dhosek]

Warning: Potentially offensive content.

So a bass guitarist and double bass player are walking down the street and the db guy falls into a big hole. Just a second, the bg guy says, let me run back to the van, I'll grab my fancy bass guitar and pull you out. He comes back grabs a hold of the bass guitar, the db guy grabs the neck and they manage to extricate him from the hole.

BG guy runs back to the van, puts the bass guitar back in its case and the two continue walking down the street. A bit later the BG guy falls into another hole. Don't worry the DB guy says, I'll get you out, and he unzips his pants and lowers his enormous schlong into the hole. After much protesting, the BG guy finally grabs a hole of it and the DB guy pulls him out.

And the moral of the story is, you don't need no bass guitar if you've got a big dick.

-dh

[whiteshadow]

Originally posted by dhosek
Warning: Potentially offensive content.

So a bass guitarist and double bass player are walking down the street and the db guy falls into a big hole. Just a second, the bg guy says, let me run back to the van, I'll grab my fancy bass guitar and pull you out. He comes back grabs a hold of the bass guitar, the db guy grabs the neck and they manage to extricate him from the hole.

BG guy runs back to the van, puts the bass guitar back in its case and the two continue walking down the street. A bit later the BG guy falls into another hole. Don't worry the DB guy says, I'll get you out, and he unzips his pants and lowers his enormous schlong into the hole. After much protesting, the BG guy finally grabs a hole of it and the DB guy pulls him out.

And the moral of the story is, you don't need no bass guitar if you've got a big dick.

-dh

hahaha ::quick silence::

[hyperlitem]

hahha i get it, if your a band nerd you have to make jokes to make people think you have a big manhood. hahahh

of course you could do what my friend did and come over to the light side and play electric bass, but thats just a sugguestion.

[Chris Fitzgerald]

Originally posted by hyperlitem
hahha i get it, if your a band nerd you have to make jokes to make people think you have a big manhood. hahahh

of course you could do what my friend did and come over to the light side and play electric bass, but thats just a sugguestion.

LIGHTMYDIAPER,

But if all of your friends did that, how would you ever get out of the hole?

[hyperlitem]

wow chris!

i wasn't trying to make anyone mad with that post, but you probably gave me the best answer to my post ive ever seen. I actually laughed out loud when i read that, nice come back.

[Chris Fitzgerald]

SNIPERLITE ,

Why thank you. Like the old saying goes - if life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. If life hands you a "straight line",....

No offense taken, and (I hope) none given.

[kcm]

How many roadies to change a lightbulb...

1-2-1-2-1-2-1-1.......!