| I.A.T.S.E. stories
Some stagehands are great people. They see themselves as part of the big picture; that what they do is helping the performers do their jobs the best they can so they can entertain the audience.
But some are just slugs who are there to do as little as humanly possible and get paid as much as they can rip off from the management.
Here's a few stories that I've experienced.
Me - Hey Joe, now that it's winter, would you please close the stage door when we start rehearsal so there isn't a draft. When I do it, I have to put mine instrument down and I usually miss what the conductor says and I get behind.
Slug - Well, you're already doing it. (goes back to reading newpaper)
_______
Me - (to the lighting guy who only comes in to turn on the stage work lights then sits in a chair (at $30/hr, literally doing nothing, just sitting there with his arms crossed!) for 4 hours until the rehearsal's over then turns off the lights and goes home. Oh yeah, he's the head of a IATSE local) There's a tuba right beside me, could I have a sound barrier, please?
Slug - How 'bout I take it and hit you in the side of the head with it, then ya won't hear nuttin'. You know, this isn't part of my job! I'm gonna charge the orchestra extra for this!
Me - Well, never mind then.
Slug - Too late, I'm already up.
I go back to rehearsal. When I'm off my stool to make a pencil marking in my part I move back to sit on my stool and the sound barrier is directly behind me so I crash into it, disrupting the rehearsal! (dirty looks from those around me)
______
I have a faulty stand. The shelf part of it spins around if I try to make a pencil mark on the music or make a page turn.
Me - I have a faulty stand, could I have a new one, please?
Slug - I'm busy! (goes back to calculating how many hours he's worked that week)
I go to get one myself.
Slug - Hey, only qualified stagehands are supposed to touch that!
Finally, a young stagehand hops up and get the stand.
___
Any other stories??
Sign in to disble this ad
| 
