As Musicians Grow Older...

[Jazzdogg]

It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.

Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.

All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.

You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist.

Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.

You lost the directions to the gig, and then got lost (even though
you've been there 10 times before).

You need your glasses to see your amp settings.

You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.

You feel like hell before the gig even starts.

The waitress is your daughter.

You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the bass amp.

Most of the crowd just sways in their seats.

You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your case,
unused of course. (They don't charge you for club soda)

You refuse to play without earplugs.

You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.

You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.

Your gig stool has a back.

You're related to at least one other member in the band.

You don't let any one sit in, ever.

You need a nap before the gig.

After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

During the breaks, instead of going out to the van to get high, you now go out to the van to lay down and take a nap.

You prefer a music stand with a light.

You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.

You hope the host's speech lasts forever.

You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool
factor.

You feel guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're
younger than your daughter.

You can remember seven different club names for the same location.

You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days - and could physically make it with very little effort.

[Jake deVilliers]

Oh boy, some of those are pretty close to home!

[Blueszilla]

I will never admit how accurate this is, great list.

[dar512]

Your feet hurt after a gig.

And you've been sitting on a stool.

[bobalew]

There is another good one, can't remember it right now ...

[von buck]

all them is close to home how about..

"the bag you use to keep your stash in, now only contains viagra, just in case"

andy

[Fab_Superlative]

You no longer require a separate horn section due to your enhanced robusto flatulence.

[Mike Goodbar]

When you realize you've started to talk about "sharpening your endpin," "removing the G-string," "ample upper and/or lower bouts," or "nice F-holes" without a notion or trace of innuendo...

[forester]

when even your grandchildren know when to clap

[fdeck]

When conversation during break is about bifocals and comfortable shoes

(Happened at my gig last night)

[bluewine]

Funny Stuff,

hers mine;

You hit on your 24 year old female key board player and you find out she's your son's wife.

[bluewine]

This is close to home:

You get hit on by a chic half your age but you decline the offer because you know there is no way you could keep up with her.

[D.Don]

When your manager (who is your brother in law) calls to check a gig date for a new incoming booking request out of town, you check your calendar to make sure you don't have a doctors appointment that day.



D.Don

[bluewine]

Your on stage and your face is beet red and it's not from booze, you realized you forgot to take your blood pressure medication

[salcott]

When a horn player or singer calls you "Sir".

[christ andronis]

You make sure to go to the bathroom right before you go back on the stand for a set.

[Marcus Johnson]

Originally Posted by christ andronis

You make sure to go to the bathroom right before you go back on the stand for a set.

And your tour sponsor is Depends.

[two fingers]

(wipes forehead) Almost 40 and only one of those applies so far. I do remember half a dozen names for the clubs in my town. Other than that, I'm good to go!



(I'm sure it won't be long though.)

[b_carville]

More than one for me!

[Fab_Superlative]

The term "Un-hip" now includes a drastic procedure performed by an orthopedic surgeon.

On a related note,any technique that involves the use of a "knee jerk" manuever should tend to be avoided whenever possible,as clinical studies indicate a higher incidence of knee jerking,leads to the accelerated development of terminal un-hipness.

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