SICK FUN WITH LYRICS.

[5StringBlues]

Originally Posted by padmavyuha

"Crotch", surely? Why waste a good rhyme...

Ficky little pucker,aren't you?

Originally Posted by padmavyuha

Inflatable EWE

Fixed

[MR PC]

It had to be doo, all over your shoe.

[Fletcher Lanning]

Originally Posted by MR PC

It had to be doo, all over your shoe.

I wandered around, and suddenly found, a pi-le of pooo

Nobody else, picked up your s##t, I walked around, and stepped in it.

I think he ate glue.. and maybe beef stew, It had to be doo...

[fred pratt]

Paul, the leader of one of the bands I'm in, just called for us to learn the Burt Bacharach/ Hal David classic, The Look of F***.

You've got the look of f***
It's on your face
A look that time can't erase


Very romantic.

[Fletcher Lanning]

So does the fact that it's been a year make this a Christmas Zombie thread?

[toovakynd]

I'm sure this has come up, but I'm too lazy toread this whole thread:

Tall and tan and young and coughing
The girl with emphysema goes walking
And as she passes
Each guy she passes goes
"Eeew!"

In my trio it's gotten to the point we just cough to call the song!

One of my own; I sometimes sing this about third set :

Met this girl at a club,
Her bouncer boyfirend got sore;
I was two weeks in traction,
Don't screw around much anymore

Got a bad French disease
From a one-night amour;
It just hurts when I pee now,
Don't screw around much anymore.

Well by now you'd guess
My libido's been controlled
It had to unless
I didn't want to get old!

Saw this chick on the street,
Thought that maybe I'd score!
Turns out she was a guy too-ew!
Don't screw around much anymore
Today's girls can surprise you
Don't screw around much anymore!

[Fred W]

I passed a kidney stone,
And thought about you
I let out an awful moan
Then my face turned blue

[iiipopes]

Call me a loser
Call me a lush
Say I'm a boozer
Say I drink too much
But don't call me an alcoholic
'Cause I never used it as a crutch

I've shot too much whiskey
Soaked too much beer
Travelled the grapevine
To get one more cheer
I've woke up hungover
After making a show
Chasing schnapps down for pleasure
But one thing you should know

Call me a loser
Call me a lush
Say I'm a boozer
Say I drink too much
But don't call me an alcoholic
'Cause I never used it as a crutch
(One more time!)
'Cause I never, ever used it...as a crutch.

[Beginner Bass]

Originally Posted by Ed Fuqua

Just cause I haven't done it lately. This is for all you "new folks" out there....

You don't know
where One is,
you never know the changes or the form.
Your playing is so far below the norm,
And you don't know
where One is.

You don't know
where beats are,
you cannot tell beat one from "and" of three.
Just how lame can one poor fella be?
And you don't know
where One is.

Do you know the key or chords
for tunes you claim you're knowin'?
No wonder you sound so lost,
once you've started blowin'...

I can't tell
from your line
whether you're in 3 or in 5/4.
I tell you this and tell you one thing more,
you don't know
where One is....

To be performed with "Rubato"...

[thmsjordan]

"Stranger in the night....
Some people say I'm
Stranger in the night...."

[steeve85]

An old French Letter with a lipstick's traces
I'm standing in the queue of VD cases
'Cause when I pi55 it stings
These Foolish Things Remind Me Of You.....

That night we f***ed all over your apartment
"The Joy Of Sex" showed us where all the parts went,
Oh Lord, my aching ring!
These Foolish Things Remind Me Of You.....

[Thor]

From the humor section on the slab side, lyrics by tat2heart,

slappers and paddles and come do me high heels
blindfolds and wrist cuffs and toys that make me squeal
black velvet corsets with red satin strings
these are a few of my favorite things.....

[MR PC]

fry me a liver,
fry me a liver,
i fried my liver over you

[Throckmorten]

The first time we kissed you really got pissed and called me an a$$hole
Maaaagic mooooments, filllllled with love.

[SmokeyB]

I want to go where people are playing
those jazzy things with basses and bows . . .