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06-20-2005, 02:42 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ft. Collins, Colorado | | | Trombone joke
What's worse than playing with a trombonist?
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NOTHING!
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06-20-2005, 02:51 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: West-Flanders, Belgium | | BEING a trombonist  ? |
06-20-2005, 04:15 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: SE Wisconsin | | | What do you call a trombonist with a beeper?
An optimist.
What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead trombonist in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the snake, or;
The snake was on his way to a gig.
__________________
Pull up the weeds before they're too damn big.
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06-20-2005, 04:41 PM
| | Registered User
Clincian: EA, Zon, Boomerang, TI. Author "The Art of Solo Bass" | | | | | What do you call a woman on the arm of a trombonist ...
a tatoo |
08-04-2005, 05:50 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: near DC | | | whats the difference between a trombonist, and a large pizza?
a pizza can feed a family of four.
how do you get a trombonist off of your doorstep?
pay him for the pizza. |
08-04-2005, 07:27 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ottawa, ontario, canada | | | how do you get a one-armed trombonist out of a tree?
you wave at him. |
08-04-2005, 08:29 PM
|  | Moderator Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Bloomington, IN | | | Trombonist got a New Year's gig. Everything went well, the club was packed, the owner was happy. He asks the trombonist "Can you come back next New Year's Eve and do this again?"
Trombonist says "Sure! You mind if I leave my horn here until then?"
***
Trombonist left his horn in the back seat of his car and forgot to lock the door. When he came back, he was shocked to find that somebody had broken in and left another trombone... |
08-04-2005, 08:42 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Florida | | | Hey now, be nice. If it weren't for trombone players, who would viola players make fun of?
I know it's not a t-bone joke but,
Two girls in the orchestra are talking and one asks the other:
"Is that french horn player you're dating a good kisser?"
"Not really, his lips are too tight - it's like he's playing his horn. I love how he holds me, though".
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S. Wright
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08-22-2005, 08:22 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sioux Falls, SD | | | NICE
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Ampeg Club Member 49
I have nothing else cool to put here...
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08-22-2005, 10:39 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Winnipeg Canada | | man I used to play tombone  |
08-22-2005, 11:31 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: San Mateo CA | | | A gentleman is someone who can play the trombone, but doesn't. |
08-22-2005, 12:47 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: NYC | | | Man this is old...
Anyway, how can you tell which kid on the playground has a bone player for a parent?
He never swings and can't use the slide....
There's another visual joke that I'll try to describe.
You: HOW DOES A TROMBONE PLAYER PLAY ONE NOTE SAMBA?
Victim: I DON"T KNOW, HOW?
So, start singing the melody to ONE NOTE SAMBA (which of course starts out repeating a single note) all the time miming pushing and pulling the slide up down and all around for every note you articulate. Then when you get to the bridge, you pull your hand up close to your mouth and sing the whole bridge without moving the "slide"...
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BECAUSE AWESOME CAT IS AWESOME!!!!!
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08-23-2005, 01:08 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Ontario | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by fr0me0 man I used to play tombone | Jeez, dude. At least that awful time in your life has passed...
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by HollowBassman Doesn't she know that they're not really people until the age of about three? | |
08-23-2005, 04:31 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2005 Location: London, UK | | Slightly longer, but here goes....
A trombonist is out on a country walk. He notices a field of sheep and wanders over to the fence. upon seeing this strange man staring at his woolly quadripeds, a worried farmer makes his way over to him. "anything i could help you with?" "well....." says the trombonist, "it's just that i've always wanted a sheep of my own......." "tell you what," says the farmer, always a generous soul, "you can keep one, if you can guess how many i have in all my fields in total." so the trombonist scratches his head for a while, screws up his eyes..........."279!" he answers. "that's AMAZING!" said the farmer, astonished. "well, i'm a man of my word, so go ahead and take one." the trombonist turns to leave with the animal when the farmer says - "wait a minute. you're a trombonist, aren't you?" so the startled man replies "how on earth could you tell?"
"put the dog down and we'll talk about it."  |
08-23-2005, 03:13 PM
| | Moderator Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Bloomington, IN | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by fr0me0 man I used to play trombone | Me too. It's okay, everyone's been kind enough to tell the jokes very s-l-o-w-l-y for you and me... |
08-23-2005, 03:41 PM
|  | Official Forum Flunkee | | Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: San Francisco, CA | | You think trombone is bad... try accordion.  |
08-23-2005, 04:45 PM
|  | Musical Anarchist | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Sutton, MA | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by hdiddy You think trombone is bad... try accordion. | Yes! I started on the accordian. My mother wanted a piano player but there were no door to door piano salesmen that day . . . hence . . . |
08-23-2005, 04:51 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Georgetown, TX | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by hdiddy You think trombone is bad... try accordion. | Et tu, hdiddy? Me, too, hdiddy!
(BTW, you should drop the "h" -- I'm sure it gets between you and your fans. )
~John |
08-23-2005, 06:06 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2001 Location: Los Angeles | | | Ed, I have a customer that has a 3 valve bass trombone and he actually can play "One Note Samba" as you described! Scary... |
08-24-2005, 05:57 PM
| | AES Fine Instruments | | Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Brewster, NY, USA | | | How do you improve the aerodynamic efficiency of a trombone player's car?
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