Upright bass joke

PIZZAcato · #1 10-26-2005, 05:25 PM

How long does it take to tune a Double Bass in a jazz band?
About 1 minute

How long does it take to tune a Double bass in an Orchestra?
Its a trick question thats impossible

Bruce Lindfield · #2 10-27-2005, 02:34 AM

Err...."Lost in Translation"..?

PIZZAcato · #3 10-27-2005, 02:54 PM

Im gonna explain but that makes it not funny

In a jazz band you always get it in tune because u can improvise and less instruments are present but,

if your in an orchestra you can tune forever and the director always says your out of tune(sometimes accidents in finger position)

It was kind of a dumb joke in the first place so w/e

Rimas · #4 11-14-2005, 01:34 AM

i dont even get a minute to tune in jazz band. normally i just go by ear while im playing and adjust what needs to be adjusted.

in orchestra, the second chair is never in tune, and i actually get worse intonation by attending rehearsals. quite the phenomenon.

John Sprague · #5 11-14-2005, 11:02 AM

Here's a companion joke for the first one then:

A bassist shows up for the annual Nutcracker gig. Being a bassist, he arrives a little late. The conductor asks if he would like a minute to tune, to which the bassist replies: "Isn't it the same as last year?"

STRONGBOW · #6 11-15-2005, 06:42 AM

Tuning the bass can be challenging, but I hear that it is much worse for an Oboe:

question: what is perfect pitch for an oboe?

answer: when you can toss it from 30 feet and hit dead center in a dumpster.

Mike Goodbar · #7 11-15-2005, 07:00 AM

I had a really bad gig the other night.

Someone wiseguy turned one of my tuning pegs and wouldn't tell me which one!

Marcus Johnson · #8 11-23-2005, 01:34 PM

It's really not an issue, there's always plenty of time to tune up after the gig.

Scot · #9 11-24-2005, 04:15 PM

Luckily, mine was already in tune when I bought it.

Mike Crumpton · #10 11-24-2005, 05:11 PM

All this reminds me of a couple of true questions put to me by bedroom guitarists.

"I mess around with a guitar - I've had it a couple of months - do you tune yours yourself?"

and

"How often do you tune it (as in once a week, once a fortnight)?"

Sir Wildebeest · #11 11-25-2005, 09:35 PM

lol burn on orchestras

i only play jazz on upright bass no ochestras for me

EDIT: lol and oboes suck also