Why Men are happier than Women

[Treyzer]

I know this is soewhat off topic. It was sent to me by my mom who is fighting cancer! She is great and has a very cool sense of humor
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband..
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..

SUCCESS:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

NATURAL:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

• <LI class=EC_EC_MsoNormal style="BACKGROUND: #f3f3f3">Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

[Marcus Johnson]

Hah! Good stuff.

The one that's a little off for me is "Natural" .... It's true that I look about as good waking up as I do going to bed, which is usually not that great.

My wife, on the other hand, in a tee shirt and undies with her hair messed up in the morning, no makeup, is still uber hot... and maybe moreso.

[fingers]

Funny stuff.

My thoughts go out to your mom.

[Jake deVilliers]

LOL! We're different sub-species, that's for sure. Even after 32 years with my wife she can still spin my head around!

Hope your Mom's winning Trey..........

[Treyzer]

Thanks Marc & Jake for your kind words. It's not a part of life that is fun, but is a part of life we have to face and deal with!

Aloha to you both!

[IrishBassLad]

Originally Posted by Marcus Johnson

Hah! Good stuff.

The one that's a little off for me is "Natural" .... It's true that I look about as good waking up as I do going to bed, which is usually not that great.

My wife, on the other hand, in a tee shirt and undies with her hair messed up in the morning, no makeup, is still uber hot... and maybe moreso.

Ahahaha. A Bass player? With a wife? Who sleeps in the same bed as him? and is Hot? Thanks for making me laugh . But hey we have something in common. Were both from little island nations and random people who know nothing about our people claim out-ragas facts about them, and they only really care about us because we have money!

[Paul Warburton]

Originally Posted by Marcus Johnson

Hah! Good stuff.

The one that's a little off for me is "Natural" .... It's true that I look about as good waking up as I do going to bed, which is usually not that great.

My wife, on the other hand, in a tee shirt and undies with her hair messed up in the morning, no makeup, is still uber hot... and maybe moreso.

Ya know Marcus, I'm getting about as sick of hearing about your fabulous old lady, as I am sick of Trey's constant Aloha ****!
What the hell is wrong with you people over there?
Every one of us needs some darkness in our lives...Where the hell is yours? How can you hope to be a real bass player with all this happy, happy **** going on?

[bebop1]

A man is incomplete when he's single. When he marries, he's finished. (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

[Treyzer]

Originally Posted by Paul Warburton

Ya know Marcus, I'm getting about as sick of hearing about your fabulous old lady, as I am sick of Trey's constant Aloha ****!
What the hell is wrong with you people over there?
Every one of us needs some darkness in our lives...Where the hell is yours? How can you hope to be a real bass player with all this happy, happy **** going on?

Paul,

We welcome you with open arms... Come on over...We'll let you supply the darkness!!

P.S. Love your L.A. in the 1950's stories. Amazing those cats could play so well and be so high. Monty Budwig was an L.A. legend!


See Ya

[Paul Warburton]

Yeah, and Aloha Mother****er.

[MR PC]

Sometimes a new set of Spirocores isn't a bad thing, they do become a bit dull after all those years in the bathroom.

[william3]

Men always follows take it easy policy.

[Paul Warburton]

Originally Posted by william3

Men always follows take it easy policy.

William..That sounds like an item off of a Chinese food menu.

[jgbass]

Hey Paul,

Love it! But, I think I only have 319 items in my bathroom, not counting the ones in storage.

I have been trying to practice shopping like a guy though. Instead of going to the mall and browsing endlessly. I just decide what I want, and just go to the store and get it. That's new ground for me. Beginning to work really well too. Gives me more time to play bass.

My best thoughts for your mom.

[Paul Warburton]

Hey, Janette.

[Marcus Johnson]

Originally Posted by Paul Warburton

William..That sounds like an item off of a Chinese food menu.

Actually, that would be Men Always Follows Double Happiness Take It Easy Policy. No MSG, add 25 cents.

[Paul Warburton]

Perfection.