The 50 year old virgin

Bass Viking · #1 10-20-2009, 03:48 PM

I've seen some scenes from the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin and it looks hilarious (I'm planning on renting it). It's a comedy but frankly I find the idea of someone being that age and still being a virgin kind of sad. A friend of mine, who I've know since childhood is 50, single and has never had a girlfriend or any kind of experience with the opposite sex. And it's not for lack of wanting it either. He must realize now that his chances are lower than ever and his best years are behind him, a pretty depressing thought.

I emailed him recently but got no reply. He doesn't seem very interested in keeping in touch with his old buddies and I can't help but wonder if this is related. We've all gotten married, many have had kids, some are even grandparents, and he can't even get to first base. I feel for him but on the other hand he never seemed to take much initiative to go out and socialize. Years ago, when we were alot younger and lived in the same city, I'd ask him to come along to parties and he usually declined.

Linas · #2 10-20-2009, 03:51 PM

Maybe hes a closet gay?

MatticusMania · #3 10-20-2009, 04:25 PM

A few years ago, when The 40 Year Old Virgin came out in the theaters, my 22 year old friend was still a virgin. He joked upon himself that that would be him on the billboards in 18 years time. The following summer I accidentally stole from him a girl who would have been his first sexual encounter. Another year later and the guy got himself his first grilled cheese sandwich. The full experience came to him not but another few months later.

However, your friend is 50. I mean, he still has a chance, so long as he can still function.
Maybe he's embarressed about his junk and doesnt think he can find someone who'll like it.

mstott25 · #4 10-20-2009, 05:30 PM

When i was in high school we had a real life 40 year old virgin come speak to our youth group. He was a normal guy in good shape, didn't seem awkward or seem like he had any social problems and had a normal career.
We were used to being hammered over the head about the dangers of premarital sex in that youth group (which disturbs me now as a parent looking back on how obsessed the adults were with teenage sex lives) but after that particular meeting...nobody felt inspired to remain vigilant in the pursuit of abstinence. The guy was talking about how great his wedding night was going to be and I was just thinking that he could have been married twice by now and he's going to be the only virgin in the relationship (unless he was wanting to marry one of the girls in our youth group, and even then...they were quickly disappearing).
We all just felt sorry for him.

anyways he's gotta be at least 50 now so we should definitely try to get him and your buddy on the same bowling team or something.

muzikman7 · #5 10-20-2009, 05:35 PM

I know a guy in his early '50s thats never been kissed and he has no intrest, and he's not gay either.

Bass Viking · #6 10-20-2009, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linas

Maybe hes a closet gay?

No, definitely not, but he did once say jokingly that maybe he should give it all up and become a homosexual.

Bass Viking · #7 10-20-2009, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

The following summer I accidentally stole from him a girl who would have been his first sexual encounter.

That sounds like an interesting story. Hopefully he's not mad at you over it.

DoomandHeavy · #8 10-20-2009, 06:18 PM

Maybe he just has no sexual desires. If it doesn't depress him, I don't see why it should matter to you.

SteveC · #9 10-20-2009, 06:26 PM

There could be many reasons for this behavior or lack of behavior - however you want to look at it. It could be by choice. He just may not be interested. It may be chemical - biological not artificial. Who knows. I went for a LONG time between girls once. A LONG time. It's not the end of the world.

WookieeForLife · #10 10-20-2009, 06:42 PM

I can just say wow.

Bass Viking · #11 10-20-2009, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoomandHeavy

Maybe he just has no sexual desires. If it doesn't depress him, I don't see why it should matter to you.

Agreed, if he didn't care one way or another everything would be fine. But I know being a virgin bothered him when he was 22 and to him the idea of dying without having experienced sex was not a pleasant thought. He definitely had sexual desires and it disturbed him that other people that were "nerds" had girlfriends.

Bass Viking · #12 10-20-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveC

It could be by choice. He just may not be interested.

I know him well enough to know that it's neither of those. It definitely bothered him, that's what's sad about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveC

I went for a LONG time between girls once. A LONG time. It's not the end of the world.

I hear you, a long time is one thing. Never is quite another.

FreaqyFrequency · #13 10-20-2009, 07:12 PM

There are those who remain virgins by choice. Even by preference, in fact. I'm one of them, and I know for a fact that there's another on these forums. We refer to ourselves as asexuals.

If your description is as I read it, however, he has tried and failed numerous times to have an encounter. I would think he would have made it by now if he'd really tried, that's a long time to go without meeting a woman and connecting. However, there are many true stories that are even more unbelievable than that, so it's hard to say.

SoonerMatt · #14 10-20-2009, 07:52 PM

There was a couple at the church I used to go to that were married and didn't want to have sex, and as far as I know they still don't.

I know people in their early 20s who are afraid they'll be virgins for the rest of their life and it's depressing to hear them talk about it. It definitely seems like a self-esteem issue, but I honestly can't figure out what it is or why they're like that when they're confident in regards to other matters.

Bass Viking · #15 10-20-2009, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreaqyFrequency

If your description is as I read it, however, he has tried and failed numerous times to have an encounter. I would think he would have made it by now if he'd really tried, that's a long time to go without meeting a woman and connecting.

Yes, that's pretty much what happened. He got rejected a few times, then became somewhat of a hermit, stopped socializing. I'm sure his self esteem was affected.

Thunderscreech · #16 10-20-2009, 08:03 PM

My friend's roommate will turn into this.

mike_v_s · #17 10-20-2009, 08:20 PM

Weird...to me, anyway. There's gotta be a mental block there. I've got a coworker who by all female standards I'm aware of should be a virgin and single, and yet he's married with a kid. Based on this, I assume he's had sex at least once.

Mike

McHaven · #18 10-20-2009, 08:32 PM

If it really truly bothered him, don't you think he would have hired a prostitute by now?

FreaqyFrequency · #19 10-20-2009, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McHaven

If it really truly bothered him, don't you think he would have hired a prostitute by now?

I imagine that it's above some people to do that in order to get their sex, and especially for a first time deal.

Atoz · #20 10-20-2009, 09:29 PM

One of my best friends is 45 and a virgin. He just isn't interested; he'd rather build plastic models and work on cars. He seems happy enough... I don't think he's depressed or anything. I've taken him to the shaker bar a few times, and he seems to have fun there, from which I infer that he likes women. To each his own, I suppose.