Adult Guys: Do you have another guy who's your best friend?

DigMe · #1 10-13-2009, 08:46 PM

Do you? And no, I'm only talking about humans here, not dogs or other pets. This discussion is also not about your significant other who you consider your best friend. That is distinctly different from what I'm talking about here. Last qualifier - I'm mainly asking the older guys here rather than the younger.

I have had a friend for several years that I call my "best friend" and who would say the same of me. For many years though I did not. Much of that was due to having a run of several years in which I had a lot of transition and living in different places including overseas but some of it is my lack of keeping up with people and at times being somewhat lonerish.

So what about you? Do you have a best friend or are you the "friendless American male" (though the question is not just directed at the Americans here)? Someone who would say the same of you with which you are thick-as-thieves?

If you do not then do you want to have a best friend or do you like it like that? If you do not have a best friend do you tend to have many other friendships that are more shallow or do you tend to have few friendships altogether?

bc

bongomania · #2 10-13-2009, 08:50 PM

There's a guy who I consider my "best friend", but I haven't spoken to him in a couple of years because he lives in another state and I am really bad at maintaining friendships, especially long-distance ones. But he and I have known each other for about 20 years, and I feel like he's "family" in the bonded-in-some-big-perspective sense.

Holy War · #3 10-13-2009, 08:53 PM

Im 24 and have a group of buddies (about 6 of us) who consider ourselves to be best friends.

DigMe · #4 10-13-2009, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bongomania

There's a guy who I consider my "best friend", but I haven't spoken to him in a couple of years because he lives in another state and I am really bad at maintaining friendships, especially long-distance ones. But he and I have known each other for about 20 years, and I feel like he's "family" in the bonded-in-some-big-perspective sense.

I had a friend like this during my wandering time that I also considered my best friend but looking back I think that really it was in name only. I didn't maintain the friendship aside from occasional contact, I never saw him, etc... Looking back I don't think I could really consider him a true best friend in the context of how those words are typically understood.

bc

jokn388 · #5 10-13-2009, 09:06 PM

I am a senior in college and have roomed with my best friend all 4 years. We got really close Sophomore year in high school. I lived at his house during summertime playing Warcraft 3 and watching bad TV...good times.

It's going to be weird when he goes off to medical school and I go off into the real world. We have joked that if he goes to UCLA and I get a software engineering job in LA then we could continue to live together.

On top of that there is a core group of maybe 12 guys that have maintained a strong friendship from our youth through college. We are all very different, and are diverging at accelerating rates, but still have a great time together. In many ways they are family. Whatever happens in life I know they will always be around if I need them.

DigMe · #6 10-13-2009, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jokn388

It's going to be weird when he goes off to medical school and I go off into the real world. We have joked that if he goes to UCLA and I get a software engineering job in LA then we could continue to live together.

It will be interesting to see if you remain best friends. This is why I'm mainly asking older guys though - these kinds of relationships that you describe naturally come together in high school, college etc.. but then once men move on from those stages of life then what happens? Often I think a lot of guys don't seem to seek out and form new relationships that match that closeness.

bc

bassteban · #7 10-13-2009, 09:25 PM

I had a best friend through high school & for a few years after- life happened & we're miles apart now but cross paths now & then. I now(at 45)have a friend who I call my *best* but didn't go looking for the guy- it just kinda became what it is. We have very similar roots & experiences, hobbies & family situations. We've been buds for about 5-6 years.

KeithBMI · #8 10-13-2009, 09:32 PM

I am 20 and have 2 friends that I've known since kindergarten.

two fingers · #9 10-13-2009, 09:33 PM

At 38 years old, I can say yes. This guy and I have been through a lot with each other. Divorce from my first wife. In and out of bands together. Death of his father. And either of us would drop what we're doing (within reason) if the other called. My wife jokes and calls him my "girlfriend". He's still single and sometimes I go pick him up when he's had a few too many. The phone will wring at some ungodly hour and I grab my keys and a pair of jeans before I even grab the phone. I don't tell his secrets. He doesn't tell mine. It's good to be able to totally trust two people in this world (him and my wife).

Sartori · #10 10-13-2009, 09:36 PM

I have a few best friends. I usually refer to one as my oldest friend, since I've known him since kindergarten. We don't speak often due to being in different geographic locations, but we just pick up where we left off when we see each other.

The guitarist in my band is another best friend.

And my other best friend I met in college, she's not a guy, but fills the same sort of role.

mike_v_s · #11 10-13-2009, 09:36 PM

Close with a friend from grade school up until I moved out of stste. We still talk weekly, but neither of us has time to visit that often. At this point, I'm not sure either of us would use the qualifier "best" friend in the way you mean it. Aside from distance, we're at two different points in life. I'm a father, husband, etc. He's single. The main focus of my life now is a foreign concept to him (and vice versa). Kinda hard to stay close when that's the case.

Mike

NJL · #12 10-13-2009, 09:37 PM

My best friend is male and one day when I remarry - he'll be the best man without a doubt. We were roommates at one point and the fat bastard even introduced me to my now ex-wife.

He's been going through some rough times and I've done my best to be there for him. He's ALWAYS been there for me.

What sucks is that he lives in Austin.

makanudo · #13 10-13-2009, 10:01 PM

Im 17 and my best friend was born in the room next to my mom's, we were next to eachother in the nursery, and have been together since kindergartden. He also happens to be my guitarist and the person i can trust the most, funny whe have literally known eachother a lifetime, and it will continue many years im sure..

TOOL460002 · #14 10-13-2009, 10:11 PM

im only 25 (26 in a couple weeks if that ups my qualifications...), and i dont facebook or myspace (call me if you want to talk). theres probably 20 people i could call up to hang out with, as ive grown up with them and all that, but ive been burned so many times by people i thought were good that i pretty much have only one friend i can count on 24/7. ive known him for a much less amount of time than most all of my friends, but i trust him. i honestly dont trust anyone else that isnt family if that means anything. id be there to post bail if it came to it.

jrthebassguy · #15 10-13-2009, 11:56 PM

Perhaps I'm a little bit too young for this poll (I'm 23), but I have a group of three very close friends. Whenever we go out, we call ourselves the Quad. What's interesting is it's only over the past year I've become really good friends with these guys, and I can say without a doubt I've never been closer to any friends than I have with these guys. It's a strong brotherhood I have with these guys, I'm not sure how I coped without such good friends. I feel blessed.

An important aspect I love about these guys is they're not afraid to stab you in the front - That is, if they think I'm going to make a bad decision (women, alcohol, etc.) they'll stop me, and I do the same for them. It's good to have friends not afraid to tell you "No."

It actually pains me to think about a future where these guys don't play a part in it. They're family to me.

gold_member_321 · #16 10-14-2009, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holy War

Im 24 and have a group of buddies (about 6 of us) who consider ourselves to be best friends.

Same here, except I'm only 20.

Brad Johnson · #17 10-14-2009, 03:09 AM

I know a bunch of people and have several friends but my best friend from childhood died a few years back. My best friend from when I moved to this part of Maryland and I have been tight for over twenty years. I'd also consider a couple of other people best friends, we're very close, we trust each other, we like each other and we'd do whatever we could to help each other out in a jam.