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08-16-2009, 08:52 AM
| | | | After much careful consideration, I've considered becoming a philanthropist
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I caught this moron bird in my garage. It's either a juvenile sparrow or a wussbag adult who can't fly. It doesn't appear to be injured. http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/2755/birdg.jpg http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/4807/bird2g.jpg
Then the ass decided to get cozy and sleep on my hand. http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3208/674f.jpg
At this point I was fighting an insatiable urge to pop it in my mouth for a fresh source of protein, but I already have a meaty dinner lined up so the sucker gets off easy tonight. Instead, I decided to take advantage of the moment for propaganda purposes and to give the illusion of being a caring animal-rights advocate by building a makeshift shelter for it, where it quickly fell back asleep. http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3347/17495398.jpg
It doesn't respond to English, so my best surmise at the moment is that it's a Soviet spy. I'll keep tabs on it closely. |
08-16-2009, 09:01 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Dallas, TX | | | Excellent.
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08-16-2009, 09:06 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? | | | If it's a sparrow, it's a young one. It probably can't fly very well.
If you're the personal trainer kind of guy, feed it by holding it high and throwing seeds on the ground in front of you. Outside, of course. That will probably clear up its learning impairment and prevent dependence.
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Originally Posted by tom once dead  Also to prove my Australianism, I've been stung by an irukandji jellyfish before, while snorkelling at an island looking at stingrays. | |
08-16-2009, 09:11 AM
|  | Funkify your Life | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Bucket, RI. | | | Eat it. |
08-16-2009, 09:13 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: an ignore list near you | | Quote:
Originally Posted by tehuberc It doesn't respond to English, so my best surmise at the moment is that it's a Soviet spy. I'll keep tabs on it closely. | That's how I identify them. Check it's legs for any messeges taped to them. Being Russian, it's probably not the "young bird that can't fly" you think it is. More likely, it's an old bird that underwent extensive plastic surgery to look young and infiltrate your house. It can't fly because it's hungover. I'd waterboard that bastard until he told me what I wanted to know.
Mike |
08-16-2009, 10:10 AM
| | | | How are you going to feed it? |
08-16-2009, 10:13 AM
| | Funkify your Life | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Bucket, RI. | | Quote:
Originally Posted by RWP How are you going to feed it? | I guess he'll just have to regurgitate into it's mouth until mom shows up.
tehuberc, what did you have for breakfast? |
08-16-2009, 11:29 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Coeur d'Alene | | If it steps out of line, you can always suck it's head into the vacuum hose. 
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08-16-2009, 11:30 AM
| | Funkify your Life | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Bucket, RI. | | | |
08-16-2009, 11:41 AM
|  | is, against all odds, still a scuba viking. | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Alta Loma, California | | | as we all know, the best way to motivate anyone or anything is to provide incentives for the desired action. I recommend that you place the chronically unmotivated animal on a perch outside your home, and proceed to use it as an apparatus on which to observe the effects of projected napalm upon biological specimens. The bird will learn that it is in it's own best interest to learn how to fly, thereby ridding you of an otherwise inconvenient dependency.
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Originally Posted by Dr. Cheese It is never the duty of the oppressed to make a bigot feel comfortable. | |
08-16-2009, 11:45 PM
|  | Online | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Sunapee, New Hampshire | | Wow, your makeshift shelter is nearly an exact replica of a birds natural habitat. We all know birds be kicking it in toilet paper and K-Swiss boxes. 
-Mike |
08-17-2009, 12:54 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Columbus, OH | | | Well, it's most certainly not an adult bird... but it doesn't look like any sparrow I've seen either young or old. Take it to a local nature center. They can identify it and care for it to release back into the wild. Either way, it's too small to eat and would just leave you hungry again 5 min. later like chinese food does.
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08-17-2009, 11:20 AM
| | | Quote:
Originally Posted by CapnSev If it steps out of line, you can always suck it's head into the vacuum hose. | x1000
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The bass does have random stickers on it, that can be covered up with cooler stickers if desired.
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08-17-2009, 11:26 AM
| | | Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ5150 Wow, your makeshift shelter is nearly an exact replica of a birds natural habitat. We all know birds be kicking it in toilet paper and K-Swiss boxes.
-Mike | Woah, didn't notice the box was k-swiss.
tehuberc, I've always wondered what it's like to surrender your man card. Do the authority make a bit of a ceremony out of it, or is it just cold bureaucracy like everything else these days?
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The bass does have random stickers on it, that can be covered up with cooler stickers if desired.
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08-17-2009, 11:40 AM
|  | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | | It's obviously a spy. Set it up with incriminating evidence document it, and force to work as a double agent so you can infiltrate the enemy. I know mike_v_s suspects russian, but I'm thinking it might be Chinese. Catch him off guard with a little mandarin. |
08-17-2009, 11:51 AM
|  | I'm a tumbler, born under punches | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Northern California | | | What a coincidence. After much careful consideration I've strongly considered being a philanderer.
And like you I've worked diligently to construct a habitat enticing and comfortable for chicks. |
08-17-2009, 12:08 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Newark, NJ | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Jared Lash What a coincidence. After much careful consideration I've strongly considered being a philanderer.
And like you I've worked diligently to construct a habitat enticing and comfortable for chicks. |  |
08-17-2009, 01:26 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Racine, Wisconsin | | Quote:
Originally Posted by tehuberc I caught this moron bird in my garage. It's either a juvenile sparrow or a wussbag adult who can't fly. |
In one of the pics I see both |
08-17-2009, 02:07 PM
|  | Registered User
Endorsing Artist: see profile | | Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: toms_river.nj.us | | That looks to be a 'fledgling'... here is some basic info: Quote:
The very best thing to do when you find a baby bird on the ground is to do nothing. Leave it alone. The parents are probably nearby and are feeding it.
Quite often young birds will leave the nest before they can fly. This is normal. These birds often end up on the ground. The baby bird can still move around and it can let its parents know where it is.
| I get sparrow, bluejay, chickadee and cardinal fledglings in my yard every year. They live a few days on the ground and in bushes until they mature enough for flight. | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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