Almost forgot... the drunk guy in the road

[Bryan316]

Sorry, shoulda posted this yesterday. My bad.

DISCLAIMER: I was completely sober during the driving portion of the story, as I had quit drinking around 10-10:30pm and only had the celebratory champagne at midnight. Lots of excess dry-up time.

So after New Year's partying is over, people start venturing out into the fresh snow that now turned to freezing rain as the temp rose. Everyone's calling the house we were partying at, warning people, "HOLY CRAP THE ROADS ARE HORRIBLE DRIVE SAFE PLEEEASE." Well, didn't matter to me at the time, cuz I wasn't planning to leave ANY time soon and had four wheel drive. Yet everyone kept calling, confirming the roads were horrible. One friend was following a Jeep, both of them barely doing 10mph. The jeep does a 480-degree spin and takes itself out with a telephone pole.

So after far too much Rock Band on the 360 and our hands and wrists just silly sore, we pack it up and head home just before 4am. It's usually a 15-18 minute drive between my friend's home, turned into 40 minutes. And along the way, on the two-lane road, a drunk guy appeared like a spector in the night.

Imagine if you will... drunk guy wearing no coat, only a mullet, nasty bushy mustache, and what appeared to be a buttoned dress shirt with no sleeves. He's trodding through the slushy half-frozen mush in the road, completely in the road, towards me. My brother spots him, I start slowing down even slower. I start leaning to the left to avoid him. I see another car's headlights shining at me. Oh great, this is gonna be close. WAAAY too close! The drunk guy STARTS WALKING TOWARDS ME! Even as I am completely in the other approaching lane well over the double-yellow lines, the guy managed to still get within one foot of actually hitting me! The mirror doesn't count, either! My brother said that mirror was a hand away from smacking him in the head! He's completely in the middle of the road now!!!

Without much time left, I dodged back into my own lane and the other car was fishtailing a bit as they locked their tires up trying not to hit me. We're both looking back to see if the other car hits the guy, but couldn't tell anyways from the darkness and snowfall, which was now coming down far heavier than at my friend's house. We're both catching our breaths and swearing profusely, thinking this guy just flat-out wants to die. So drunk, he's unconsciously suicidal.


Folks, I can't ever imagine being that blotto drunk. He musta got thrown out of whatever party or bar his white trash arse was in, and just started walking. I still vividly see the completely disgruntled look on his face.

And no sleeves.


Humanity still amazes me, even after all the crap I've seen on the internet.

[bassteban]

Well, the last bouncer I fought tried to grab my hands & throw me out but he ended up just ripping my sleeves off at the wrists. Jerk.

[Vince S.]

Originally Posted by Bryan316

Sorry, shoulda posted this yesterday. My bad.

DISCLAIMER: I was completely sober during the driving portion of the story, as I had quit drinking around 10-10:30pm and only had the celebratory champagne at midnight. Lots of excess dry-up time.

So after New Year's partying is over, people start venturing out into the fresh snow that now turned to freezing rain as the temp rose. Everyone's calling the house we were partying at, warning people, "HOLY CRAP THE ROADS ARE HORRIBLE DRIVE SAFE PLEEEASE." Well, didn't matter to me at the time, cuz I wasn't planning to leave ANY time soon and had four wheel drive. Yet everyone kept calling, confirming the roads were horrible. One friend was following a Jeep, both of them barely doing 10mph. The jeep does a 480-degree spin and takes itself out with a telephone pole.

So after far too much Rock Band on the 360 and our hands and wrists just silly sore, we pack it up and head home just before 4am. It's usually a 15-18 minute drive between my friend's home, turned into 40 minutes. And along the way, on the two-lane road, a drunk guy appeared like a spector in the night.

Imagine if you will... drunk guy wearing no coat, only a mullet, nasty bushy mustache, and what appeared to be a buttoned dress shirt with no sleeves. He's trodding through the slushy half-frozen mush in the road, completely in the road, towards me. My brother spots him, I start slowing down even slower. I start leaning to the left to avoid him. I see another car's headlights shining at me. Oh great, this is gonna be close. WAAAY too close! The drunk guy STARTS WALKING TOWARDS ME! Even as I am completely in the other approaching lane well over the double-yellow lines, the guy managed to still get within one foot of actually hitting me! The mirror doesn't count, either! My brother said that mirror was a hand away from smacking him in the head! He's completely in the middle of the road now!!!

Without much time left, I dodged back into my own lane and the other car was fishtailing a bit as they locked their tires up trying not to hit me. We're both looking back to see if the other car hits the guy, but couldn't tell anyways from the darkness and snowfall, which was now coming down far heavier than at my friend's house. We're both catching our breaths and swearing profusely, thinking this guy just flat-out wants to die. So drunk, he's unconsciously suicidal.


Folks, I can't ever imagine being that blotto drunk. He musta got thrown out of whatever party or bar his white trash arse was in, and just started walking. I still vividly see the completely disgruntled look on his face.

And no sleeves.


Humanity still amazes me, even after all the crap I've seen on the internet.

A lot of drunks are attracted to bright lights like flies on crap. That's why a lot of cops get struck from behind by drunk drivers; they see the pretty strobes and home in on it like a missile.

[IAmTheDood]

I'm just glad I went home at 1:30 A.M. new years .. there was only a few inches on the ground then and I lived 1/2 mile away from the bar i was at.

if i had stayed in till 4am when the bars closed, i would've been much worse!

[stedtale]

I'm impressed, a 480, that's 1 1/3 spins. nice.

[mjolnir]

Whoa... This is why I'm glad I'm a happy drunk that just passes out on the closest couch come 4 in the morning...

[Bryan316]

Originally Posted by IAmTheDood

I'm just glad I went home at 1:30 A.M. new years .. there was only a few inches on the ground then and I lived 1/2 mile away from the bar i was at.

if i had stayed in till 4am when the bars closed, i would've been much worse!

Yup, that confirms it. FAR more snow up north. As I came home, heading north, it turned from freezing rain to enormous fluffy snow flakes, and just killed visibility. Even in 4x4, I managed to fishtail around one street corner. Ferociously slick and dangerous. You're up in Waterford, right? That musta been some blizzard, man.

[markjazzbassist]

sorry about that bryan, i had a few too many. the reason i was coming to your car is cause i see you on TB all the time and wanted to chat with you. then the drunkness took over and i forgot and kept walking.

don't worry though, i only got hit by 5 cars after you, i'm still in the hospital, but at least i'm still able to drink in here

[Bryan316]

Thank GAWD you're still able to drink in there!

[IAmTheDood]

Originally Posted by Bryan316

Yup, that confirms it. FAR more snow up north. As I came home, heading north, it turned from freezing rain to enormous fluffy snow flakes, and just killed visibility. Even in 4x4, I managed to fishtail around one street corner. Ferociously slick and dangerous. You're up in Waterford, right? That musta been some blizzard, man.

ya .. we got upwards of 12 - 14" here. i mean when i went home there was only an inch or two on the ground, got up to go get my daughter at 10:30 am and i had to shovel my way out ... i have a ram 1500 4x4 so i don't have a problem driving in the snow but man were there a lot of spinouts on M59 from the night before still stuck!

[Bryan316]

Ugh.

I couldn't imagine it. And folks wanted me to come downtown for their gigs an crap. NO WAY.

[Nino Valenti]

You know... I could see this drunk guys post on his online forum...

"...driving home in the snow, we crashed our car. Johnny, the designated driver was knocked out. After we burned our clothes to keep warm, we backtracked to the road to find help but all these assfaces kept driving by!!!!!!"

[Valerus]

that's hilarious. Fortunately, I did not encounter any drunks on my way home.

[KeithBMI]

Haha. After reading that I said to myself... "I wonder if this guy lives in Michigan."

Then I saw your location and laughed more.

[jp1994]

I'm glad the wife and I stayed home with our daughter on NYE.
One quick trip to pick up the chinese food and then we were nice and toasty warm all night!

Edit: sober, too!

[PrimusNut]

I didn't even party on New Years Eve. Spent the night at my girlfriends house, sober.

[Naturekev]

Back in December of 1989, northeast Florida had the worst ice storm I've ever seen here. They don't happen often, maybe every twenty years or so. Since they happen so rarely, the city doesn't keep equipment around to get the ice off the roads. We just have to drive slowly or stay off the roads until the ice melts. It was so bad that year that all of the highways and bridges were closed. I worked at a hospital at the time and, unfortunately, I had to work that Saturday. I made it to work without incident. That afternoon, I was driving down a residential street on my way home. There were some people yelling at each other from their yards on opposite sides of the street. They apparently deemed the spectacle of ice covering everything in Jacksonville to be a good reason to get plastered and celebrate. When I was just a few feet away from them, one of the guys, bottle in his hand held high and obviously drunk, walks out in front of me to cross the street. He didn't even look at me. I applied the brakes, sliding and hoping I wouldn't hit him. I didn't miss him by much. To this day, I don't think he saw me, even as I passed him. I'm glad we don't have to deal with that kind of weather down here very often.

[Mike Money]

Two Words:

Detroit Locker

[jp1994]

Originally Posted by Naturekev

Back in December of 1989, northeast Florida had the worst ice storm I've ever seen here. They don't happen often, maybe every twenty years or so.

OMG...I remember that.
I was living just north of Tampa then.
One night just before Christmas, the main water line going into the house froze solid and split overnight.
I never would have thought that would've happened that far south!

[jsbass]

Originally Posted by Mike Money

Two Words:

Detroit Locker

... In a Sterling 10.25" ...