avoiding friend zone w/ female

[Linas]

Ok, a little background on the situation at hand. I met this girl 2 years ago at an art gallery. It was brief, and not much was exchanged, but we ended up being facebook friends. After this there was a long period of no talking, perhaps 2 years.

Recently, this girl and i have started talking quite a bit on facebook. Talking each day at least, some for an extended ammount of time (a couple times ended at 7 am or so).

I told her i wanted to meet in person, so we went to a concert, and she brought a friend. I would have liked it to be just us two, but i guess i didnt make that clear. It was fun, we laughed, enjoyed eachothers company. At the end of the night, her friend was trying to leave us alone, and got my hints, and said she was going to go home, and that we should go back to my place. I was happy with this anti c*ck block. But the girl, said she just wanted to go home too.

Now, i asked to see her again this weekend, and she was being kind of wishy washy about it. We agreed to get coffee, then she said F the coffee lets just go bike riding. And even still, she didnt seem to have her mind set on this. And how the hell am i supposed to get to know her if were riding bikes in the city?

I just dont get this girl, all signs point to shes interested in me, we flirt a lot, and talk a lot online. You would think talking to someone for 6 hours strait, you would have more interest in them than just becoming friends. But when it comes to meeting in person she gets kinda weird. Im not sure if shes just shy in general, or im just completely misreading the situation. But at all costs, i DO NOT want to move into friend zone, and i realize that i need to take action immediately to prevent this from happening.

Rant over. Advice needed.

[warwick.hoy]

Another one of these threads???

She sounds like a nice girl...who doesn't want to put out on the first, second or third "date". If you dig her as more than just a casual....then keep at it without pressuring her. Suggest a formal date and take the lead as far as plans go. Girls are wishy washy about decisions because they don't want to be responsible if the date is lame.

[Linas]

yes.

[ugly_bassplayer]

chatting online....wow...that will get you some

[Linas]

Originally Posted by ugly_bassplayer

chatting online....wow...that will get you some

If you read it all, you would see that im making efforts to hang with this girl.

[MadMan118]

Bejesus, mating season is hitting hard this year.

[Marley's Ghost]

Bike riding could be cool. How do you look in spandex shorts? And, if you both get sweaty, you could invite her to join you in a shower.

[warwick.hoy]

Originally Posted by Linas

yes.

sorry I edited my post to be a little more constructive.

Is this just a summer thing? It's like we need a TB "Birds and the Bees" subforum.

[UncleFluffy]

Sounds to me like either:

(a) you're already in the friend zone, game over, try someone else.

or

(b) she likes you a lot, thinks you may have long-term potential, and wants to take the time make sure you're as good as she thinks you are.

Time will tell. You can try poking the jealousy button to see if you can get the info early, but that's a delicate operation that can blow up in your face if you do it wrong. Best be patient, for a little while longer at least.

[Joe Gress]

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

Is this just a summer thing? It's like we need a TB "Birds and the Bees" subforum.

All the kids are out of school and bored. Women and posting on TB FTW!

[warwick.hoy]

Originally Posted by joeinsprings

All the kids are out of school and bored. Women and posting on TB FTW!

Well Linas is 22...you would have thought he would have had this conversation with his dad already....of course my B&TB talk was keep your pecker in your pants. Thanks for the sagely advice dad.

[Deluge Of Sound]

On that note, my dad's advice was to date girls with small hands.

[NJL]

meh, blow her off and go home and give yourself a stranger.

[PaulNYC]

Invite her to lunch on the bike ride. tell her you only want to go with her.

[coreyfyfe]

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

Well Linas is 22...you would have thought he would have had this conversation with his dad already....of course my B&TB talk was keep your pecker in your pants. Thanks for the sagely advice dad.

Mine was coming home to a box of condoms and the warning that if I don't wrap it up it was getting cut off. Single moms don't put up with that ****.

oh and on subject, stuff your bike shorts.

[Phil Smith]

Originally Posted by Linas

Ok, a little background on the situation at hand. I met this girl 2 years ago at an art gallery. It was brief, and not much was exchanged, but we ended up being facebook friends. After this there was a long period of no talking, perhaps 2 years.

Recently, this girl and i have started talking quite a bit on facebook. Talking each day at least, some for an extended ammount of time (a couple times ended at 7 am or so).

I told her i wanted to meet in person, so we went to a concert, and she brought a friend. I would have liked it to be just us two, but i guess i didnt make that clear. It was fun, we laughed, enjoyed eachothers company. At the end of the night, her friend was trying to leave us alone, and got my hints, and said she was going to go home, and that we should go back to my place. I was happy with this anti c*ck block. But the girl, said she just wanted to go home too.

Now, i asked to see her again this weekend, and she was being kind of wishy washy about it. We agreed to get coffee, then she said F the coffee lets just go bike riding. And even still, she didnt seem to have her mind set on this. And how the hell am i supposed to get to know her if were riding bikes in the city?

I just dont get this girl, all signs point to shes interested in me, we flirt a lot, and talk a lot online. You would think talking to someone for 6 hours strait, you would have more interest in them than just becoming friends. But when it comes to meeting in person she gets kinda weird. Im not sure if shes just shy in general, or im just completely misreading the situation. But at all costs, i DO NOT want to move into friend zone, and i realize that i need to take action immediately to prevent this from happening.

Rant over. Advice needed.

Want to get traction with this young lady? Act like you're no longer interested and one or two things will happen, nothing which is what is currently happening which means you have nothing to loose or she becomes very interested in you.

[aikakone]

Okay, responding as a female, Linas, she probably had the friend along for "protection". It's scary to meet someone from online no matter how well you think you know the other person, so there's a certain defensive thing going on to have back up. I understand that you would want to spend time alone with her because that's reasonable. It's just when ladies are not sure, they do like to have a shield of a sort.

I do agree with warwick.hoy's first (edited) post that you should suggest a formal date and take the lead. I'm sorry she's wishy-washy, but this will help.

Good luck!

[BassKid93]

Riding bikes is a good date idea. She sounds like the kind of chick that wants to go on fun dates..doesnt ALWAYS have to be a "getting to know each other" date.

[Linas]

Originally Posted by BassKid93

Riding bikes is a good date idea. She sounds like the kind of chick that wants to go on fun dates..doesnt ALWAYS have to be a "getting to know each other" date.

Looking back on the conversation we were having, she said that going out for coffee didnt sound too adventurous, and she just wanted to go biking. I am dealing with an unconventional girl. I guess well see what happens saturday.

[KeithBMI]

Just wait until I post my girl thread. I'm going to wait until I ask her out this weekend, but it's coming...

Go to the zoo, mall, concerts, swimming, etc.