Bad news, guys...

Baryonyx · #1 11-08-2008, 04:24 PM

Just got home from work about an hour ago, found out that it looks like my grandad won't see tomorrow.

He was admitted to hospital earlier this week with bowel trouble, and he had a cancerous lump removed from his colon a few years ago. When I got home tonight, I was told that the artery feeding his bowel is blocked and the tissue there has basically died inside him. He had stopped breathing on his own. They have now taken him off life support and he's filled with morphine, so his death will be painless and he will know nothing of it, which is how he would have wanted it.

I'm kicking myself, I never went to see him in hospital. Until today he was getting better, was talking about coming home so he could have a Malaysian curry! Everyone is just shocked at how rapidly he has went under. It's a massive shock for my mam and my two brothers, who are really upset. I'm sad, but not hysterical or anything. I know that no time is a good time to go, and men in their 70's are often called to the heavens above. In my line of work, you can become a bit blasé about death but I'm feeling this one, but I accept that he has to go sometime and that he has lived a good life. Just the other day I was talking to my girlfriend about paying him back the £900 he lent me to go to uni since I had let him down by dropping out (albeit to take the job of my dreams!). I'm just glad he knew I was going to be what I wanted to be.

yes, he has lived a good life, to a ripe old age. He smoked thousands of cigarettes until he was forced to quite for health concerns and drank crap beer because he couldn't taste how vile it was. He leaves behind a wife, a daughter and three grandsons, two of which still carry his second name (me and my brother).

I am not a typically religious man but I believe in some higher power and the strength we people can draw from our beliefs. As such, I consider you guys to be a good community and a sort of brotherhood, I would appreciate it if you could keep my family in your thoughts and prayers and ask that he have an easy passage to wherever these next few hours will inevtiably take him.

- Chris

davetakis · #2 11-08-2008, 05:01 PM

wow man thats rough. very very sorry to hear this news

Baryonyx · #3 11-08-2008, 05:07 PM

All I can say is, you never know when it's gonna be game over. Value your health, because you only get one shot at looking after yourself (and my grandad sure as hell didn't). Also, tell your family you love them, don't just think it's implied. Again, you never know when you won't have the chance to do that again.

I am quite proud though, because I will carry on his family name, and I'm named after him via my middle name. He is one of the most beautiful men I have ever met and I'll truely miss him when he's gone.

ryco · #4 11-08-2008, 05:13 PM

Sorry to hear the news Chris.

Know he'll always be with you!

It's important to let those close to you know you love them -- often!

peace to you and your family

LCMBassist · #5 11-08-2008, 05:16 PM

Sorry to hear that. I lost both my Grandads to cancer.

awakefie · #6 11-08-2008, 05:34 PM

Sorry to hear that Chris. You all will be in our prayers.

EricF · #7 11-08-2008, 05:57 PM

I wish your grandad a painless journey to the other side when the time comes, and my prayers are with you and your family. Peace, bro.

txbasschik · #8 11-08-2008, 06:24 PM

I'm so sorry, Chris. I will keep you, and your grandfather, in my prayers.

My uncle passed from the same thing. Sad.

If you can, just go sit with him for a while. Hold his hand. (If I am not too late posting this?) I firmly believe that the dying know when we are there with them, even if they are no longer conscious. Love can always be felt, without words.

Bless you, friend.

Cherie

Fontaine · #9 11-08-2008, 06:52 PM

I'm sorry to hear about this Chris, I send my condolences to your family.

Pilgrim · #10 11-08-2008, 07:08 PM

Sorry to hear it, Chris. It helps when you have a bit of warning, but you didn't have much. My Mom died from the results of smoking - lung problems, and it's probable your grandad also did, but it was his life and his decision. He's fortunate to have a loving family around him. You might want to think again about whether to drop out of university....sounds like he would be proud if you graduated.

Times like this are a good point to kind of take stock, reflect on how you got to where you are, and where you want to go from here. I wish you strength and courage, and the best of fortune.

Baryonyx · #11 11-08-2008, 07:27 PM

Yeah, it's the smoking that has done him in, but he was a heavy smoker for over 40 years.

I'm not sure if I'll see him alive again, I may be able to go to the hospital in the morning if he's still going. My family had the chance to stay with him, but since it could have been any number of hours til he died after his life support was removed, they decided not to stay and wait. I guess it's my mam's decision, but I'm just glad he's being looked after in these final moments.

I know I made the right decision dropping out of uni, I got the job I had always dreamed of doing and realised that uni was't for me. I didn't want to be a lawyer. I wanted to pay him back the £900 that he gave me from his savings because he gifted it to me to pay the extra fees for my course, but since I dropped out of uni I felt I had wasted his money, so was planning to save and give it back to him.

Thanks for your support guys, it means an awful lot to me.

Alvaro Martín Gómez A. · #12 11-08-2008, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris2112

I am not a typically religious man but I believe in some higher power and the strength we people can draw from our beliefs. As such, I consider you guys to be a good community and a sort of brotherhood, I would appreciate it if you could keep my family in your thoughts and prayers and ask that he have an easy passage to wherever these next few hours will inevtiably take him.

- Chris

I'm not a religious person either, Chris, but you can have for sure that I'll keep your family in my thoughts.

hbarcat · #13 11-08-2008, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris2112

I know I made the right decision dropping out of uni, I got the job I had always dreamed of doing and realised that uni was't for me. I didn't want to be a lawyer. I wanted to pay him back the £900 that he gave me from his savings because he gifted it to me to pay the extra fees for my course, but since I dropped out of uni I felt I had wasted his money, so was planning to save and give it back to him.

Just thinking out loud here . . . perhaps you could make a donation of money to a scholarship fund or some other charitable cause and put it in your grandfather's name.

I certainly don't think you're under any obligation to do this, but if your conscience is uneasy about the money that he donated to you toward your education, it might serve as something of a memorial to him.

Baryonyx · #14 11-08-2008, 08:03 PM

I'll see about the money. I can't really afford to make a huge donation (I would have had to save before I could repay him) but something would be appropriate I feel. It's not that I feel uneasy about it, I was just talking to my girlfriend the other day saying I should give it back to him since I didn't put it to good use. Just makes me think, these plans, our day to day lives, can be changed in an instant. I'm sure he wouldn't have let me give him the money back in any case, but I thought I would offer anyway.

StanFan · #15 11-08-2008, 08:22 PM

Sorry to hear this. I lost both of my grandfather's, one died after going back and forth from home to hospital for the last year of his life (4 years ago), and the other instantly by a heart attack (this April). Eventhough both lived a few years past 80, it was still quite upsetting. You know your grandparents don't have alot of time left, but you can still never prepare for their passing.

Jared Lash · #16 11-08-2008, 09:50 PM

My condolences. If his passing is inevitable (and it sounds like it is) I hope he's comfortable and surrounded by family if possible.

I lost my grandmother in similar fashion, where she died suddenly and I lost a grandfather very slowly where we all knew for a long time. I really don't know which is worse.

If nothing else, the passing of a relative or friend is always a reminder to treasure the time we have with the people we love.

I'm not a religious man, but my thoughts are with you and your family.

kesslari · #17 11-08-2008, 09:58 PM

Thinking of you and your family, and sending thoughts for an easy passage for your grandfather.

bassteban · #18 11-08-2008, 10:01 PM

Sorry to hear it.

Stumbo · #19 11-08-2008, 10:06 PM

Sorry for your loss.

It's never to soon to visit the people we love.

Baryonyx · #20 11-09-2008, 02:32 AM

Well, he died peacefully in the night. He's as tough as an old boot (just like his mother, who died aged 96 earlier this year!) so in a way I'm glad he didn't fight for too long. At 75, he had lived a good life, had a good run. In a few years, he'll have loads of grandkids and the family name carried on, and I think he'd find that pretty cool.

Again, thanks for your love and support guys.