Being Optimistic

[metron]

I am a very negative person in general and I don't know how it happened. At this point in my life (I'm 32) it seems like its built into my personality. I tend to focus on what people do and things in general that I percieve as wrong or stupid. I'm excessively sarcastic. I never really thought of myself as being negative until people pointed it out to me. I always thought I was just being a realist.

My goal is to turn it around and become an optimist. To find a zen-like inner peace. However it's proving to be a challenge for me and I don't know why. For those of you who have a positive personality, can you explain how you do it?

[macaroni tony]

I look for the good in all people. Actively. Part of it is just me, and part of it is my faith.

Also, I see things from the viewpoint of this: Everybody has something wrong with them. I have my set of issues, and the next guy has his. Who am I to say that my set of problems is OK, but the next guy's is just inexcusable?

[sloasdaylight]

Look for the good in people. Realize you're not any better or any worse than most people out there. Smile and laugh more. Hang out with positive thinking friends, talk to them about how they see things. If you start to say something sarcastic, stop yourself, and just say never mind.

[Skitch it!]

My personal strategies for drift in the right direction are not watching T.V., don't soak up the negativity that we're forced to see because 'it makes good copy', getting out into the sticks quite often for some timeout without the shizzle for distraction, and I take along a little 'natural help' to relax and take time to think about my views, my reasons for those and whether they are informed or just deep seeded and how their perceived outside myself.

This is what I do, everyone is different.

[Ground Pounder]

You could always just STFU and MYOGDB.

It works for me

[Deluge Of Sound]

Go somewhere where it is legal to do so, and take 5 dried grams of psilocybin mushrooms.

I'm not being facetious.

[Kwesi]

I like to consider myself an optimistic realist. I'm a naturally happy generous person who looks for the good things and avoid the bad. I have no faith, it's just who I have come to be through my experiences. All that said, I rarely give non-friends the benefit of the doubt and I'm constantly judging everything and everyone I see. I know that I'm not perfect but I only associate my myself with people I deem to have a lower quotient of imperfection. My constant mental criticisms don't bother me, they just make life more interesting . You know that game where you look at a person and imagine their life story? I'm playing that the entire time I'm awake, lol.

I'd say the simple answer to your problem is just to simply avoid things that make you unhappy or things that trigger negative responses. Also, find more friends who appreciate sarcasm. When it comes to that people often fall into two categories, they can either appreciate good sarcasm or just hate it out right. Most of my friends and I are the former, my Mom and Dad are the latter. If you happen to be one of those people that kind of blurts out "That's dumb." inadvertently avoid that particular phrase and use substitues. For example instead of saying that, say "Really?" and give the other person a quizzical look. I do it all the time and usually instead of sounding like a douche, it starts discussion where you can explain yourself and how wrong the other person is in a much less douchey fashion .

Baby steps, dude. Baby steps .

[Kwesi]

Originally Posted by Deluge Of Sound

Go somewhere where it is legal to do so, and take 5 dried grams of psilocybin mushrooms.

I'm not being facetious.

Do so with a mixed group of friends, some high, some not. You'll have some awesome conversations.

[Kosko]

Sex, drugs and rock and roll.... not necessarily in that order.

But a little more seriously, consider how lucky we are to live in this era. How many billions of homo sapiens have lived before us to bring us to a point in time with amazing medical care, technology and standard of living. We now live with luxuries that only a king could dream of in previous centuries, for instance chocolate.

[macaroni tony]

Originally Posted by Kosko

Sex, drugs and rock and roll.... not necessarily in that order.

But a little more seriously, consider how lucky we are to live in this era. How many billions of homo sapiens have lived before us to bring us to a point in time with amazing medical care, technology and standard of living. We now live with luxuries that only a king could dream of in previous centuries, for instance chocolate.

+1. I LOVE chocolate!

Wait, why am I getting a familiar feeling here...

[metron]

Originally Posted by macaroni tony

I look for the good in all people. Actively. Part of it is just me, and part of it is my faith.

Also, I see things from the viewpoint of this: Everybody has something wrong with them. I have my set of issues, and the next guy has his. Who am I to say that my set of problems is OK, but the next guy's is just inexcusable?

The actively part is what I am missing. I can see the good but I usually ignore it and focus on the not good. It's not so good.

Originally Posted by Skitch it!

My personal strategies for drift in the right direction are not watching T.V., don't soak up the negativity that we're forced to see because 'it makes good copy', getting out into the sticks quite often for some timeout without the shizzle for distraction, and I take along a little 'natural help' to relax and take time to think about my views, my reasons for those and whether they are informed or just deep seeded and how their perceived outside myself.

This is what I do, everyone is different.

I actually avoid tv most of the time because I think it's mostly mindless idiocy. But see there I go with the negativity now getting out into the sticks is something that I need to do. Plenty of 'natural help' for some r&r in the mountains would do me good.

Originally Posted by Deluge Of Sound

Go somewhere where it is legal to do so, and take 5 dried grams of psilocybin mushrooms.

I'm not being facetious.

Well. Yeah. Those days are behind me. I know where you are coming from though!

Originally Posted by Kwesi

I like to consider myself an optimistic realist. I'm a naturally happy generous person who looks for the good things and avoid the bad. I have no faith, it's just who I have come to be through my experiences. All that said, I rarely give non-friends the benefit of the doubt and I'm constantly judging everything and everyone I see. I know that I'm not perfect but I only associate my myself with people I deem to have a lower quotient of imperfection. My constant mental criticisms don't bother me, they just make life more interesting . You know that game where you look at a person and imagine their life story? I'm playing that the entire time I'm awake, lol.

I'd say the simple answer to your problem is just to simply avoid things that make you unhappy or things that trigger negative responses. Also, find more friends who appreciate sarcasm. When it comes to that people often fall into two categories, they can either appreciate good sarcasm or just hate it out right. Most of my friends and I are the former, my Mom and Dad are the latter. If you happen to be one of those people that kind of blurts out "That's dumb." inadvertently avoid that particular phrase and use substitues. For example instead of saying that, say "Really?" and give the other person a quizzical look. I do it all the time and usually instead of sounding like a douche, it starts discussion where you can explain yourself and how wrong the other person is in a much less douchey fashion .

Baby steps, dude. Baby steps .

It seems that I am my own negative response trigger. I think I am pretty good at avoiding things that I feel are negative but I have a tendency to extract the bad from everything. This is so bizarre because I know what the issues are but I am having a hard time changing my demeanor.

Really I have a lot of great things going on in my life and have so much to be thankful for. Right now I am working fully lounged with my shoes kicked off. I get paid a lot to push buttons. Some things in life are inexplicable.

[need4mospd]

I learned lately that a lot of my negative energy comes from the internet. Seriously. The amount of depressing **** on the internet is amazing.

Also my wife is a real b****.

(Disclaimer: Just kidding honey!)

[Kwesi]

Originally Posted by need4mospd

I learned lately that a lot of my negative energy comes from the internet. Seriously. The amount of depressing **** on the internet is amazing.

Also my wife is a real b****.

(Disclaimer: Just kidding honey!)

I have no wife to speak of but I find that the internet is constant source of hilarity and general awesomeness.

[sarcastro83]

going the full nine, huh? I settled on pragmatism, myself.


Best thing you can do is just do what makes you feel good, so long as you're not hurting anyone else...

[need4mospd]

Originally Posted by Kwesi

I have no wife to speak of but I find that the internet is constant source of hilarity and general awesomeness.

This coming from the optimist.

[Phalex]

It really helps if you honestly don't give a ****. I never worry too much about anything. Maybe I should, but I just don't care. Odds are I'll be able to eat tomorrow, and at the end of the day, that's the only thing that's really important.

[The_Ox]

Start listening to Yes. It will make you a happier person. I'm a feverish optimist due to that wonderful band.

[Deluge Of Sound]

Originally Posted by Kwesi

Do so with a mixed group of friends, some high, some not. You'll have some awesome conversations.

Not so much. There's a big difference between getting high and having an intense psychedelic experience.

Originally Posted by metron

Well. Yeah. Those days are behind me. I know where you are coming from though!

That's an important distinction to make, since the ratio of people you meet and think "this guy's got to loosen up, get inside his own brain, and figure himself out" to people who really need to lay off the mind-expansion, learn their own zip codes and find a job is pretty 1:1.

I only brought it up as you asked for zen-like inner peace, and that's the quickest & most effective method I know of.

[Kwesi]

I forgot to mention that I laugh at EVERYTHING and I'm hopelessly ticklish. I can help neither but they do help me be a happier person. Show girls that your ticklish and they won't stop. Laughing all the while being constantly poked at by women who aren't trying to give you a prostate exam... Frankly? It's awesome.

[Skitch it!]

A former girlfriend tried a few of the psilocybin's, I thought O.K not many it'll be nice but then she slapped me across the face in the middle of a crowded pub because she thought I was making fun of her 'walk', I had to talk her round a bit, it wasn't very relaxing at that moment

Set and setting makes a big difference IMO/IME