Being a ''outsider''.. Loving it, or not?

[Mr_Music90]

Well.. This is something I struggled with when I was on high school : Not being part of a group.. You know, I always had the idea that I had to be accepted by people, which I never was, since I just don't care about the same stuff like others.

Lately, for about 2 years now, I'm actually glad I've never been part of a group and just did my own thing (and of course, I still do ). There are a lot of people from my high school, which I lost contact with (or basicly never had), that all of an suddenly, wanna pick up our ''friendship'' again.

Some people say I changed so much : I lost weight (15 kg), I wear different clothings, take better care for myself i.e. my looks and such, but yet, I just don't feel to get in contact with those people, since I never cared about them, so why would I do it now?


Is there someone around here on TB, who has sort of the same kind of experience like me?

[Relic]

yep. That was me exactly in HS. I wasn't a jock, nerd, band-kid, prep, stoner, metal-head, etc, etc (maybe I was 'all of the above" actually) I just did my own thing, kind of fit into no clique or category and hung out with whoever I wanted to. Not to sound like I'm bragging, just the opposite, sometimes it sucked because I was like an 'outsider" to every damn group

Now, loooong after HS, I'm more in touch with my classmates than I was then. Mostly through social media and the like. But I look at it this way - friends are a good thing to have. Even if you didn't get along with them in HS, people change, times and situations change. Maybe the person you hated back then, may become your best friend now? Who knows.

[drummer5359]

I'm fifty three. I never worried about whether or not I was an outsider and often I was. Everyone is an outsider somewhere at sometime in their life, don't worry about it.

[MJ5150]

I am very social. I like to have a group I identify with and feel part of. Being an outsider causes me anxiety.

-Mike

[knumbskull]

[dozicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by Relic

yep. That was me exactly in HS. I wasn't a jock, nerd, band-kid, prep, stoner, metal-head, etc, etc (maybe I was 'all of the above" actually) I just did my own thing, kind of fit into no clique or category and hung out with whoever I wanted to. Not to sound like I'm bragging, just the opposite, sometimes it sucked because I was like an 'outsider" to every damn group

Same here.

Stay gold ponyboy.

[hover]

I never so much attributed it to being an "outsider" so much as being honest to myself and following my own path...heck, I was moderately popular and never terribly ostracized even tho at my H.S. I wasn't the guy who fell in and wore flannel everyday, I had stupid woody woodpecker style hair, and "listened to weird music". But I aimed to not project a negative vibe, remained upbeat and pleasant to everyone, and never made it an aim to alienate myself...there's a few people from H.S. waaay back that I am still friendly with on / through F.B. and regular life...I always felt it better to have a small circle of real true good friends in that regard, vs. a million friendly acquaintences...


...and these are at the core, qualities I try to encourage in my kids too. Carry yourself well. Present yourself well...but on your terms, not following. I do however present to them the info that some choices, were them to take, may provoke unfavorable response from others...

[tom once dead]

Originally Posted by Relic

yep. That was me exactly in HS. I wasn't a jock, nerd, band-kid, prep, stoner, metal-head, etc, etc (maybe I was 'all of the above" actually) I just did my own thing, kind of fit into no clique or category and hung out with whoever I wanted to. Not to sound like I'm bragging, just the opposite, sometimes it sucked because I was like an 'outsider" to every damn group

This, almost exactly for me. Though I was definitely a band kid and a metal head. Just the only one in my year level really. I could easily hang out with most groups in my grade.

I haven't been out of school long enough to have past 'friends' get back in contact with me. But I am still friends with quite a few of the people I went to school with, even though I live a long way away from them now. But when they're in the area I will always catch up, if I can. Some people want to re-live their 'glory days' and getting in contact with people you used to know or hang out with is an easy way to get back some of that feeling.