http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/muc/1559571513.html
Too Funny!
Hi. I’m a bass player in his late 30’s looking for professional musicians to perform and record with. I’m exceptionally gifted and can play any style of music… as good as, or better than anyone else... most of the time. I have a good bit of experience and generally behave with a professional attitude as long as I’m not pissed about something… like mistakes you may make while we’re playing.
Not looking to team up with twenty something’s who think they are going to take the world by storm with their lame, copy-cat, mee-too, sounds-like , super original undercover-cover band but hey, we’re much uglier and we suck out loud types. However, I realize that eliminates most of the opportunities out there.
I’m not really in it for the money but do charge a nominal fee of $500 per show, $250 per rehearsal or $860 per recording session. Discounts available to chick bands.
Major influences are, but not limited to:
Air Supply, Olivia Newton John, John Denver, Bay City Rollers, Tiffany, The Brady Kids, Partridge Family, Donny Osmond, Spice Girls, Hanna Montana, New Kids on the Block, The Bugaloos (they're in the air and everywhere), The Archies, The Monkees, Debbie Boone, Maryln Manson and WHAM!
I have a mild drug habit though it normally doesn’t interfere with my timing or precision, but I have gotten lost on the way to gigs ‘cause I really like to get messed up before I perform. Occasionally I’m late for rehearsal, but that’s usually just the result of oversleeping. It would be advisable to set your watches back 30-45 minutes to help keep things running smoothly for me.
I have my own transportation but for the reasons cited above, I’d really prefer it if someone just came and picked me up most of the time. I also have my own equipment but I hate to move it so it would be great if you had a killer bass rig available for me at rehearsals and shows.
That being said, I don’t move PA gear, setup or tear down. When I eventually show up, I expect everything to be working and the sound system to be crisp and punchy. I won’t tolerate feedback or shabby on-stage monitors. I expect my own personalized monitor mix, dedicated spotlight and plenty of room on stage to spin around without smacking my bass into anything. I usually wear 8 inch platforms so I’m a lot taller than everyone else but it makes me feel cool and I can see what the hell is happening out in the audience a whole lot better. And for some weird reason, chicks seem to dig it.
I sing backup and can also take on some lead vocal chores if necessary. I’ve been told my voice is a cross between Barry White and Roy Orbison… fuse them together in your mind and you can get a sense of what I sound like.
I like Drama, Head Games, Ego’s and Attitudes. The more dysfunctional the band the better as I believe it encourages creativity. Also, alcohol is a MUST especially for live performances as it really gets the band playing loose and comfortable. I won’t play with non-drinkers or those who don’t drink ‘enough’.
So if you’re interested, hit me up. If your bass player just died or something and you have a major gig like tomorrow, I can fill in on short notice without rehearsal. I don’t even need to hear your songs first. I can simultaneously learn and execute them on the fly in front of a live audience without missing a note.
Yes, I’m that good.
Peece.
