|  | 
04-10-2009, 01:00 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Seattle, Wa | | | best man speech
Sign in to disble this ad
I need some advise. I'm gonna be the best man at my friends wedding. we were the best of friends growing up, then after high school he joined the navy and we lost all closeness, and we rarely see each other now since he is constantly traveling. And im not sure really how to handle this without being akward. btw, the girl he is marrying is a selfish you know what which really makes me not even wanna go to the wedding. any suggestions?
__________________
"Official" Black 'n' Maple Basses Owners Club member #23
The Fender Jazz Bass Club #377
Last edited by sublimestylee : 04-10-2009 at 01:56 PM.
|
04-10-2009, 02:55 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Wilmington, NC | | | If you're drunk enough, you'll know what to say when the time comes.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Munjibunga  I have found that, in the long run, TalkBass is the very best place to get legal advice. | Quote:
Originally Posted by steve21 i'm planning on giving somebody HIV soon | |
04-10-2009, 03:00 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Greenville, NC USA | | | Keep it short. Tell a short story from you guy's childhood. Wish them all the best. Be the bigger man. If you guys aren't all that close any more and you're the best man, he probably doesn't have too many buds these days. Add to that a selfish fiance and he's already down. Just keep it cliche' and don't try to knock it out of the park. Good luck! I've done a bunch of these. I wasn't the best man at some of them, but the best man didn't want to make the speech so they asked me (Does that mean I have a big mouth?) |
04-10-2009, 03:18 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Newark, NJ | | | I have one of those coming up a few months....Had this whole shtick I was gonna do...
"All my life I've looked up to my cousin Mike, he got me into nature, astronomy...most importantly music......and I hope some day I can find a girl who makes me as happy as Lisa makes him...."
Now I'm in a relationship though, so I can't really use that one....back to the drawing board. |
04-10-2009, 03:25 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: West Covina (LA), SoCal | | | I'd reccomennd standing up when they ask the whole 'does anyone object to this coupling...' thing and say "Jim (in my mind your friends name is Jim, or James, which is long for Jim) I know as of late we havent been all that close, but as your best man I really can't let you marry this worthless ***** without saying you can do better" then just casually stroll out like everything is AOK.
__________________
Bassist for Starveya - www.reverbnation.com/starveya
Sat June 9th @ Shamrocks in Chino Hills - 10pm
Bassist - Veg#33, Buddhist#11, LGBT#5
|
04-10-2009, 03:30 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Chicago, IL | | | Look on YouTube, theres some funny ass ones on there.
I started out my speech with
"Fornication... (pause for about 5 seconds until the crowd stops laughing)... Excuse me.. For an occasion such as this,"
__________________
Gun control is like fighting drunk driving by making it harder for sober people to buy cars.
Last edited by Armueller2001 : 04-10-2009 at 03:36 PM.
|
04-10-2009, 04:30 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Prince Edward Island | | | Just get trashed and make it noticeable, then go up and be like .....
"You know, me and _____ go wayyy back, you know I've always been there for him when he lost his woman, like this one time on his birthday we were in chicago and we were drinking at this bar and he was pretty down because he had just lost his current girl so I bought this hooker who was out front, a real tight looking young thing, couldn't have been more than 16 or 17. Anyway, as we rolled a joint on her back and passed it back and forth over her smoking it, he told me that if he ever got married, that I would be the best man. So here I am today." And then you turn to his new wife and say "And ____, just be glad I stopped him from trying to marry that hooker, because two more drinks and I probably woulda let him."
__________________
G&L Bass Club member #152 - Eden Electronics Club member #162 - Yorkville/Traynor club #105 |
04-11-2009, 07:01 AM
|  | Eat at Joe's | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: J-Actionville, NC | | | BE all sweet and sappy. GO on about romance and true love and even throw in a subtle hint that you are a bit envious. Then begin fornicating with the drunken female wedding attendees.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by jive1 .....It's sorta like a man complaining that a tampon doesn't fit him. | |
04-11-2009, 07:33 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Boston | | Quote:
Originally Posted by lousybassplayer BE all sweet and sappy. GO on about romance and true love and even throw in a subtle hint that you are a bit envious. Then begin fornicating with the drunken female wedding attendees. | This. |
04-11-2009, 08:50 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Singapore | | |
__________________
Zon Sonus Custom 6
Zon Vinny 6 Fretless
|
04-11-2009, 10:04 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Boston | | Quote:
Originally Posted by ehque | xkcd=love. |
04-11-2009, 01:48 PM
|  | Online | | Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Sunapee, New Hampshire | | | You don't even want to be there, you don't like his girl, you barely know him anymore.
Do the right thing, and decline the offer. Let him find someone else. Otherwise you'll be standing there lying through your teeth in a moment that will be preserved in history.
-Mike |
04-11-2009, 03:28 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: California | | | Its obvious...
Slit her throat, drain her blood into a sewage drain, de-bone her flesh, and then shred the meat so it looks like shredded beef, and then sell the meat to a taco stand. |
04-11-2009, 03:31 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Time Monkey Its obvious...
Slit her throat, drain her blood into a sewage drain, de-bone her flesh, and then shred the meat so it looks like shredded beef, and then sell the meat to a taco stand. | Do you want to sit and talk about it?
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by tom once dead Also to prove my Australianism, I've been stung by an irukandji jellyfish before, while snorkelling at an island looking at stingrays. | |
04-11-2009, 03:33 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: California | | Quote:
Originally Posted by L-A Do you want to sit and talk about it? |
Yes.  |
04-11-2009, 04:27 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: West Coast of Canada | | | Time Monkey, are you ME, from the future? |
04-11-2009, 04:28 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: California | | | No... I'm way cooler.
You could say... uh... I'm Mega. Yes. MEGA!!!
MEGA |
04-11-2009, 04:30 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: West Coast of Canada | | | Damn (sortof. Im glad you're not, since that would mean i presumably live in the USA at some point).
Cus you seem to think like me...... |
04-11-2009, 04:33 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: California | | | A bit, I suppose.
Main difference?
You're a salad man... and I eat steak.
MEGA STEAK MADE FROM DEAD COW CORPSES!!! |
04-11-2009, 04:39 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: West Coast of Canada | | | ROFL | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off | | | |
