Boy's Arm Bitten Off By Alligator

[mike_v_s]

http://www.nola.com/news/index.ssf/2...ear_slide.html

So this happened in my little neck of the woods. My old drummer lives out that way. The odd part is that the day before, there was an alligator blocking traffic on the Bonne Carre Spillway (an elevated portion of I-10), creating a 6.5 mile backup.

Listening to that traffic report with my kids (3 and 5) prompted an alligator discussion yesterday morning. I figured that I had their attention on the subject and it was time to give them the alligator talk. This talk is very similar to the "don't pet stray dogs" talk, only with more blood and missing body parts.

Then yestersday afternoon I here about this boy in my town on the news. I tell you, I am more and more certain that I might be a prophet of some kind every day.

Mike

I also heard on the radio that the neighborhood had a name for the alligator: 'Big Joe'. That's cute, but I think "Eleven Foot 500 Lb. Cold Blooded Reptile Of Death" might have stopped people from swimming in that lake. That, and we have a guy that works for the Sheriff's Dept whose sole job is large reptile removal and release. Someone should have called him before the damn thing got to be the size of a small car.

[Mark Latimour]

Just think, if we allowed children to have guns, the headline could have been:

Alligator offed by armed boy

Moral of the story: More guns for children means less missing arms.

[RWP]

Originally Posted by Mark Latimour

Just think, if we allowed children to have guns, the headline could have been:

Alligator offed by armed boy

Moral of the story: More guns for children means less missing arms.

I couldn't agree more. Armed children are the answer to so many problems in this world; especially the random alligator attack.

[mike_v_s]

Originally Posted by Mark Latimour

Just think, if we allowed children to have guns, the headline could have been:

Alligator offed by armed boy

Moral of the story: More guns for children means less missing arms.

I think this logic is proven by the fact that the alligator ended up shot anyway. I mean, if that's how the story was going to end, we should just make sure it starts that way. Or people could not swim in the swamp. Either way.

Mike

[NJL]

Originally Posted by RWP

I couldn't agree more. Armed children are the answer to so many problems in this world; especially the random alligator attack.

LOL

[Relic]

the only problem is that it's the USA, even the alligators are armed so it evens out.
However, it pays to remember a few things. While alligators typically favor the Glock 40, it's effectiveness is greatly reduced by the swamp environment. Even if the piece is still functional, the algae that accumulates inside the barrel greatly reduces it's range and accuracy. Plus, the alligators lack of opposable thumbs and inability to fire from the standing-both-hands-on-piece method renders it's ability to shoot almost nil. They virtually ALWAYS shoot from a prone position. Notice I said *almost* in regards to their abilty to shoot being nil? Alligators HAVE adapted and are now known to use Claymore mines, so while, let's say a child, is struggling to arm his Colt 45 (well known for it's anti-alligator properties) he may very well be hit with a claymore. So parents - PLEASE by god teach your kids situational awareness when dealing with armed prehistoric reptiles. This should be taught in preschool.
Remember kids: load, hit the ground, roll, SHOOT. Jump up, roll, SHOOT. Keep going until the alligator threat is nullified. The saving grace here is that while, they (gators) can certainly load and shoot despite the lack of opposible thumbs, they cannot read due to eye placement. So the whole "front towards enemy" thing is lost to them while rigging claymores.

[jkritchey]

[Gard]

Damn man, I used to fish that lake when I was a kid...I had a couple of friends that lived just a short walk away from there...heck, it wasn't a 5 minute car ride from my house, on a bike, I could make it there in about 15 minutes...



...hope that boy's gonna be OK.

[L-A]

Did the alligator receive proper psychiatric analysis before being allowed to carry arm-ripping hardware?

That's how we do it in Canada.

[Relic]

Just reading the article, I really really hope that they are able to successfully reattach the arm but...a couple of hours spent in a gator's stomach..it doesn't look good.
Poor kid, I just hope he pulls through this.

[Bob Lee (QSC)]

This wouldn't have happened if the alligator were a vegetarian.

[Mark Wilson]

What a bright young spark.

here's an idea. don't pet alligators.

[Relic]

Originally Posted by Bob Lee (QSC)

This wouldn't have happened if the alligator were a vegetarian.

or a 7th Day Adventist

[unbasslichkeit]

Cue Jerry Reed's 'Amos Moses'.....

Now folks round South Lousiana
Say Amos was a helluva man
He could hunt the biggest The meanest alligator
And jus' use one hand....

[Joe Gress]

If they had fed the gator enough babies, this wouldn't have happened.

[Eric Perry]

Originally Posted by Relic

Just reading the article, I really really hope that they are able to successfully reattach the arm but...a couple of hours spent in a gator's stomach..it doesn't look good.
Poor kid, I just hope he pulls through this.

That was the most bizarre thing I ever read! I'll be amazed if the surgery is successful!

[benthughes]

Maybe Def-Lepard has an opening?

[NOLA Bass]

Surgery wasn't successfull in saving the arm/reattaching it.

[mike_v_s]

Originally Posted by NOLA Bass

Surgery wasn't successfull in saving the arm/reattaching it.

I missed the news this evening. That really sucks.

Mike

[Munjibunga]

Ish.