The "Brag About Your Kid" thread. New dads and old fogey's welcome

[Relic]

So it's been established that there's a mixture of opinions here on TB about how various members feel about (having) kids.
Some seem to look at them with a vile, near-hatred, while others simply don't feel that they're "dad material" and want to enjoy life without that added responsibility and commitment, etc etc, then there are others who, like myself didn't want kids at first but ended up loving being a dad and thinking that it's the coolest thing on the planet.

The idea behind this thread is to just brag about your kid a bit, you know - that favorite past time/competitive sport of parents the world over.
That, and to show the naysayers why we're proud of those sniveling, diaper-soiling, freedom-sucking larvae that we love so much

it can big stuff or small stuff. For me it's the little things that rock:

-my 3 year old broke a board with his foot Saturday morning in his karate class. It was just a skimpy little plastic "safety board" thing but he was the only one in class who did it right. He did it with PERFECT form and finesse. It's gotta be the Asian genes from mom because I'm far too uncoordinated to have lent the proper genetic stuff for that one.
-my middle son just got done teaching me the bassline to "Carry On My Wayward Son" from Kansas last night. He's been playing bass for a year and already rocks. He plays both trombone and bass in his school band at 10 years old. He's also getting into doing art and he's frighteningly good at it.
-My oldest son - this past weekend, we bought a 42" flat screen tv and a nice wooden entertainment center to go along with it. We lug it in the house and I'm dreading setting all that stuff up then running to band practice.. he tells me, "I got it dad, no problem" and proceeds to build the entertainment center start to finish without a single problem, then he gets the tv onto it, connects the sat tv, dvd, vcr, playstation, surround sound, programs the tv..I did nothing except sat with a cup of coffee or two and watched... nice.

Kids rock.

[rap138]

Cool kids man!

My 3 y/o girl is speaking the most beautiful spanglish you can get, with strong mix of southamerican and british accent. I just can't get enough of it.

[TallLankyBastyd]

My "little boy" just turned one year old last week and he's already well over the 150 lbs mark...



...not to mention his poos' size rival that of his "daddy's"!

<-- Proud papa

[PSPookie]

Originally Posted by TallLankyBastyd

My "little boy" just turned one year old last week and he's already well over the 150 lbs mark...



...not to mention his poos' size rival that of his "daddy's"!

<-- Proud papa

He favors his mother I suspect

My kid is 21 months old and she's learning a word a day.

She's also the cutest little girl ever to walk the planet. I know all parents say that but she really is . . . really

Yup, I'm digging the dad gig for sure.

[mike_v_s]

My 5 year old is already writing like a doctor. My 4 year old hurts herself enough to need one.

Mike

[CrispyDelicious]

This thread smells like mothballs!

[Relic]

Originally Posted by CrispyDelicious

This thread smells like mothballs!

I didn't realize that they even had genitalia... besides how would you know what they smell??

[CrispyDelicious]

Originally Posted by Relic

I didn't realize that they even had genitalia... besides how would you know what they smell??

I have more fetishes than you want to know.

[tZer]

My little girl (8) was waiting for the bus to come home from school with her friends and they decided to pick up little rocks and scratch pictures onto the brick wall while they waited. None of them realized it was wrong - it seemed like chalk to them - no damage was done, but apparently it's against the rules.

As it turns out, someone told on them, but only two of 'em, my girl was not implicated. She felt so bad that she sent herself to the principal's office and let her know that she was doing it too and it wouldn't be fair if her friends got in trouble and she didn't. The principal agreed and included her in their (very minor) punishment. All of this was of her own volition.

Her principal also made a point of calling us to let us know, not that she was in trouble, but how impressed she was with our daughter's integrity. They give out awards each quarter for various things and our girl got the "integrity award".

I couldn't be more proud!

[IconBasser]

Originally Posted by CrispyDelicious

I have more fetishes than you want to know.

wow. This thread went from mundane and cliche to unprecedentedly weird in one post! That's gotta be a record!

[jkritchey]

My son successfully replaced a motherboard for someone who had a Circuit City service contract (whoops). He'd never done anything like that before.

My daughter was accepted, and will enroll, at the University of Virginia this fall. No small feat. She is spurning partial scholarships from NYU and Carnegie-Mellon.

[bassteban]

#1 Boy: 10, violin & karate(purple belt). A daredevil cyclist.
#2 Girl: 7, ballet, extremely forgiving & sensitive, also artistic. My favorite dance partner.
#3 Girl: Spirited, enthusiastic, EXTREMELY strong willed. Often makes big sister cry...

[MakiSupaStar]

My son takes pictures of his turds. I save some of my TB posts. There's a connection there, I know it.

[capnsandwich]

My 18 month old son just got hid first haircut yesterday while my wife is 9 days (give or take a few days) away from giving birth to our daughter. When she's born I'll have plenty of pics up.

[mike_v_s]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

My son takes pictures of his turds. I save some of my TB posts. There's a connection there, I know it.

About 2 minutes with both of mine and you'll see an immediate personality connection, too.

Mike

[mike_v_s]

So the other day, I was asked to be both warden and guard in my own little version of San Quentin. Mind you, this little outfit normally runs pretty well with both inmates running around the rec yard and abiding by our relatively lax rules. They get a bed to sleep on, 3 squares a day and a “work release” program 5 days per week.

Every once in a while, though, both Inmates No. 2003 and 2005 decide to coordinate and stage a prison riot, resulting in much bloodshed on both sides. Previous riots were VERY reminiscent of Lock Up, with Sylvester Stallone. We instituted two rules after that one: 1) no bikes inside, and 2) that movie is no longer shown to the population.

This was to be another such a day.

I recognized the uneasiness of the inmates that morning and sent them to their cells with instructions to clean them as best they could, hoping to avoid what I knew was coming. I was outnumbered 2 to 1 and needed to put out the fuse to the powder keg before it blew.

Too late. Both inmates began ransacking their own cells in protest, stopping just short of slinging feces at me when I came in to calm the situation. They were fully out of control and getting worse. I called guard #2 and informed her what she faced when she came back from the grocery store.

By the time she came home, everything had gone eerily quiet. She strolled down the cell block towards the bathroom and began calling out for help. I assumed they had started throwing flaming toilet paper, but it was far worse. Inmate No. 2005 had managed to get a hold of some contraband in the form of small scissors and had been cutting 6 inches of hair off her left side. Guard 2 was hysterical. I sent her back to the kitchen while I sorted the whole mess out.

With a good chunk of hair missing, Inmate No. 2005 looked proud of her accomplishment. A quick frisking of her person (for my own safety) also revealed several drawings on her. Squiggly lines, a few letters and mis-colored rainbows….this was bad. Prison tats. We were gonna have to take it up a notch. I sent her back to her cell and sounded the alarm for a full lockdown.

With the lockdown confusion still fresh, I put on the riot gear, came running in full force to avoid any collusion on their part and tossed both cells in an effort to find any more contraband. I first bum-rushed Inmate No. 2003’s cell, as she wasn’t expecting anything. When you do this, you have to toss everything. Under the bed, mattresses, hidden in dollhouses… everything. Inmate No. 2003 is the craftier of the two, using her years of experience to hide her transgressions as best she can. A thorough search would take some time.

I found a few toothbrushes (handles not yet honed to a killing point), various household items long thought missing and 3…yes THREE pairs of scissors; each hidden in a different place. A subsequent tossing of Inmate No. 2003’s cell revealed no more weapons, but a large lock of hair indicating she had begun the self-mutilation in her cell before she Shawshank Redemptioned herself into the bathroom to finish the job. We also sent in the dog to locate any possible contraband taken from the kitchen. We don’t know of he found anything as he normally just eats anything that smells remotely like food.

The day ended with Inmate 2003 asking No. 2005 if she was trying to be a boy by cutting her hair and both seasoned criminals attempting to kill each other with their bare hands. No. 2003 is the wiser and bigger of the two, but No. 2003 has apparently taken some kind of in-house self defense course I wasn’t aware of and she can handle herself in most situations. She doesn’t show any mercy to her aggressor and we have to separate them before someone gets seriously hurt and we have to file paperwork.

It was only two days after this incident that I heard a noise that can only be described as someone attempting to be quiet in the kitchen. I snuck into the kitchen from the rear entrance and confronted No. 2005 who, having found the scissor stash, jumped down from the chair and began running away from me with them. Life lesson not learned.

Mike

[fo shizzle]

Originally Posted by tZer

My little girl (8) was waiting for the bus to come home from school with her friends and they decided to pick up little rocks and scratch pictures onto the brick wall while they waited. None of them realized it was wrong - it seemed like chalk to them - no damage was done, but apparently it's against the rules.

As it turns out, someone told on them, but only two of 'em, my girl was not implicated. She felt so bad that she sent herself to the principal's office and let her know that she was doing it too and it wouldn't be fair if her friends got in trouble and she didn't. The principal agreed and included her in their (very minor) punishment. All of this was of her own volition.

Her principal also made a point of calling us to let us know, not that she was in trouble, but how impressed she was with our daughter's integrity. They give out awards each quarter for various things and our girl got the "integrity award".

I couldn't be more proud!

Great story.... I've got one of these, too. My 9 year old will stress out over any little real or percieved slight she might have committed. Very sweet, tender little girl. I worry about her out here in the real world.

Now, her older sister? She has the guts of a jewel thief!!

[KingCrimson]

if you had a kid like me you'd probably hang yourself

egh i **** up too much

[tZer]

Originally Posted by fo shizzle

Great story.... I've got one of these, too. My 9 year old will stress out over any little real or percieved slight she might have committed. Very sweet, tender little girl. I worry about her out here in the real world.

Now, her older sister? She has the guts of a jewel thief!!

Thank you!

And likewise with my girl's little brother!

Oh - and "guts of a jewel thief" - what a great way to describe it!

[twisty4678]

Originally Posted by mike_v_s

So the other day, I was asked to be both warden and guard in my own little version of San Quentin. Mind you, this little outfit normally runs pretty well with both inmates running around the rec yard and abiding by our relatively lax rules. They get a bed to sleep on, 3 squares a day and a “work release” program 5 days per week.

Every once in a while, though, both Inmates No. 2003 and 2005 decide to coordinate and stage a prison riot, resulting in much bloodshed on both sides. Previous riots were VERY reminiscent of Lock Up, with Sylvester Stallone. We instituted two rules after that one: 1) no bikes inside, and 2) that movie is no longer shown to the population.

This was to be another such a day.

I recognized the uneasiness of the inmates that morning and sent them to their cells with instructions to clean them as best they could, hoping to avoid what I knew was coming. I was outnumbered 2 to 1 and needed to put out the fuse to the powder keg before it blew.

Too late. Both inmates began ransacking their own cells in protest, stopping just short of slinging feces at me when I came in to calm the situation. They were fully out of control and getting worse. I called guard #2 and informed her what she faced when she came back from the grocery store.

By the time she came home, everything had gone eerily quiet. She strolled down the cell block towards the bathroom and began calling out for help. I assumed they had started throwing flaming toilet paper, but it was far worse. Inmate No. 2005 had managed to get a hold of some contraband in the form of small scissors and had been cutting 6 inches of hair off her left side. Guard 2 was hysterical. I sent her back to the kitchen while I sorted the whole mess out.

With a good chunk of hair missing, Inmate No. 2005 looked proud of her accomplishment. A quick frisking of her person (for my own safety) also revealed several drawings on her. Squiggly lines, a few letters and mis-colored rainbows….this was bad. Prison tats. We were gonna have to take it up a notch. I sent her back to her cell and sounded the alarm for a full lockdown.

With the lockdown confusion still fresh, I put on the riot gear, came running in full force to avoid any collusion on their part and tossed both cells in an effort to find any more contraband. I first bum-rushed Inmate No. 2003’s cell, as she wasn’t expecting anything. When you do this, you have to toss everything. Under the bed, mattresses, hidden in dollhouses… everything. Inmate No. 2003 is the craftier of the two, using her years of experience to hide her transgressions as best she can. A thorough search would take some time.

I found a few toothbrushes (handles not yet honed to a killing point), various household items long thought missing and 3…yes THREE pairs of scissors; each hidden in a different place. A subsequent tossing of Inmate No. 2003’s cell revealed no more weapons, but a large lock of hair indicating she had begun the self-mutilation in her cell before she Shawshank Redemptioned herself into the bathroom to finish the job. We also sent in the dog to locate any possible contraband taken from the kitchen. We don’t know of he found anything as he normally just eats anything that smells remotely like food.

The day ended with Inmate 2003 asking No. 2005 if she was trying to be a boy by cutting her hair and both seasoned criminals attempting to kill each other with their bare hands. No. 2003 is the wiser and bigger of the two, but No. 2003 has apparently taken some kind of in-house self defense course I wasn’t aware of and she can handle herself in most situations. She doesn’t show any mercy to her aggressor and we have to separate them before someone gets seriously hurt and we have to file paperwork.

It was only two days after this incident that I heard a noise that can only be described as someone attempting to be quiet in the kitchen. I snuck into the kitchen from the rear entrance and confronted No. 2005 who, having found the scissor stash, jumped down from the chair and began running away from me with them. Life lesson not learned.

Mike