Well it a almost a new year and always a time of a little more introspection than ususal for me. Things like the "What did you learn in 2012" thread encourage me to take an honest look at where I am at.
One thing I have learned over the years is that it is possible to break curses that have been spoken over me. I define a curse as something that was said about me that tears me down and that I take in. It is usually something that was spoken repeatedly to me when I was a child, adolescent, teenager that becomes a self-fullfilling curse.
In my case I was called an underachiever which is another word for lazy. Sometimes the word lazy was used. People said this about me because I got below average grades in school even though I always did well in the so-called I.Q. tests. I have since learned that there were a lot of other reasons why I didn't do well in school. One reason was I basically raised myself, sometimes I felt like a ghost in my family. My parents were not involved in my life in any way. They never asked me about what I was doing in school or if I did my studies. They never saw me play water polo or witnessed any of the medals I won in high school swimming. One exception was Algebra and Geometry, my father loved these subjects and spent time with me going over my lessons. Suprise, I got all A's in those subjects. Now, I realize how much I loved my father spending time with me on this.
Now I am an adult and I am responsible for what I do and the past is not an excuse, so it is good for me to ask myself things like "Am I really lazy?" I did some things spritually and had counselling to break that curse that was spoken over me. I also went back to college in my 50's and had a 3.8 GPA. I was between careers and carried a full load for three semesters surrounded by a bunch of 20- somethings. It was great
. I am over simplfying this but there are too many details to go into here. It was more than just school though. Anyway I no longer belive that about myself, in fact I know the opposite is true.
There are other things like this that I no longer accept, I also don't have to believe everthing people say about me. Just one more step to freedom.
Now I am working on being a person who speaks things that build people up. Sometimes that includes being real with someone, but in a way that doesn't tear them down but encourages them.
