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11-18-2011, 05:18 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC, CANADA | | | Buying drinks/being bought drinks
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Now, let me just say it's been forever since anyone offered to buy me a drink at a bar/club since I don't go out anymore (and if I do, it's with my man) but I was just thinking about this the other day and was hoping you guys could help me answer some questions.
I don't know the etiquette when it comes to someone buying me a drink because I don't know their intention.
My usual response is, "No, thanks." because:
1. I bring enough money to cover myself and a few for friends when I go out.
2. I am taken and do not want the other party to waste their money and time on me only to be lead on.
3. I don't want to feel like I have to stick around and talk to them (if that is what a drink 'buys').
But I am also aware that some people would buy another person a drink 'just because' or if they wanted a chat, with no end-result in mind (such as getting my number/monopolizing my night). I don't want to offend by rejecting, either.
So, men of TB. When you go up to a stranger (to make it easier, a gender of your attraction) and offers to buy them a drink, what is your usual intention? Is it rude to not accept? What's the deal and what is the etiquette?! |
11-18-2011, 05:26 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Edinburgh & Dundee, Scotland | | | I'd only very rarely buy someone I didn't know a drink, without any other intention (even if that intention is only to talk to a pretty girl).
Best bet is probably just saying "sorry, I'm in a relationship" or likewise.
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11-18-2011, 05:26 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: West Covina (LA), SoCal | | | I think men usually buy drinks for women because theyre trying to get laid. Its not an "I bought you a drink so you owe me something" or an "Im trying to get you drunk" thing, but rather a polite way to initiate conversation with someone you dont know.
For one, Id say as a woman NEVER accept a drink from a stranger unless you witnessed it being poured by the bartender and handed directly to you!
I dont think Ive ever bought a drink for someone I didnt know, though. Usually I'd be at the bar with someone I already knew.
My wife is hot, as you all know, and she's had a few guys buy her drinks while we were out together at my shows. I dont mind, since its certainly not going to get them anywhere, and thats more money in my pocket!
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11-18-2011, 05:32 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC, CANADA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by i_got_a_mohawk  Best bet is probably just saying "sorry, I'm in a relationship" or likewise. | "Can I buy you a drink?"
"Sorry, I'm in a relationship."
Wouldn't that make some men angry? Hahah. I'm playing it out in my head and what if it hurts the guy's feelings because I've assumed that's the reason he offered to buy me a drink and it isn't? (And I've just lumped him into a generalization). I'd feel like such a dick. Quote:
Originally Posted by MatticusMania For one, Id say as a woman NEVER accept a drink from a stranger unless you witnessed it being poured by the bartender and handed directly to you! | +1
I can however think of a couple occasions where I did not do that.  I am super lucky nothing bad has ever happened because of my tipsy carelessness. |
11-18-2011, 05:34 PM
|  | Registered User
Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound | | Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Alexandria,VA | | | Only time I ever bought someone a drink was while we were already in a conversation.
Kinda like:
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
"What are you drinking?"
"Single Malt Scotch"
"Bartender, I'll take one of those $1 Coronas for the lady"
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah.....
Blah..blah...blah.....blah..... |
11-18-2011, 05:35 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Brooklyn Park, MN. | | | I don't think I have ever walked up to a woman and said "Can I buy you a drink?" (very lame pick up line IMO)
I have offered to buy them one IF we already had a conversation going on and they were ready to order.
I have sent a round of drinks to a table with a couple woman at it and just smiled, waved & tipped my drink to them.
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It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
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11-18-2011, 05:38 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Down in the middle somewhere. | | | Here in the UK it is pretty usual for people to buy each other drinks!
If i buy someone a drink, man or woman all i expect in return is for the person to buy the next round!
I really hate it when women try to abuse the drink buying thing and act like its normal for them to never pay for a drink! |
11-18-2011, 05:38 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC, CANADA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by hdracer I have sent a round of drinks to a table with a couple woman at it and just smiled, waved & tipped my drink to them. | Badass.
Really though, considering how many times my friends and I have been approached by a complete stranger offering to buy us drinks, I'm surprised most of you do not do it (or only do it once in a conversation, and that makes sense to me). |
11-18-2011, 05:44 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Brooklyn Park, MN. | | | Hay,
8 out of 10 times through out the night one of them will come over and thank me for the drink and start chatting.
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It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
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11-18-2011, 05:46 PM
|  | NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN! | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada | | So... can I buy you a drink? 
(I have never actually done this at a bar) |
11-18-2011, 05:49 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Edinburgh & Dundee, Scotland | | Quote:
Originally Posted by HEIST "Can I buy you a drink?"
"Sorry, I'm in a relationship."
Wouldn't that make some men angry? Hahah. I'm playing it out in my head and what if it hurts the guy's feelings because I've assumed that's the reason he offered to buy me a drink and it isn't? (And I've just lumped him into a generalization). I'd feel like such a dick. | Well, I should gloss that with "Other than for a few months, I've been in a relationship for the past 6 years, so I'm a tad rusty"
Just say "Thanks but no thanks . . . ", that better? I'd still say most guys who buy a girl a drink are at least flirting to some degree.
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11-18-2011, 05:51 PM
| | Registered User
Endorsing Artist: Genz Benz Amplification | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Nashville | | | Only people I ever buy drinks for are friends.
Sometimes I get a drink bought for me at gigs, but I'll only drink it if brought to me by a bartender/server. There was this one time I got roofied at a show, not a fun experience. I didn't go down (I'm not a small guy, and can handle my stuff), but that last set was no fun at all. |
11-18-2011, 05:54 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Here we are... | |
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Originally Posted by John Carter Vending toothbrush machine will need to know when we forget to brush the wife during the trip and instant we will get the machine. | |
11-18-2011, 05:55 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC, CANADA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lesser So... can I buy you a drink? | Well...it IS Friday and the TB bar is open... |
11-18-2011, 05:59 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Central Alberta | | | If a guy wants to buy my girlfriend a drink, go for it! It's a free drink and thats more money in our pocket. |
11-18-2011, 06:07 PM
| | | | I've never actually done it with a complete stranger - whether male or female, mind you I'm generally in bars where the only women present are taken anyway, and I'm in a relationship. I have done it for the girlfriend on a couple of occasions. We have a general policy of alternating who "pays" for dinner/beverages for the night.
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11-18-2011, 06:11 PM
|  | I Know Nothing | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Columbia River Gorge, WA. | | Quote:
Originally Posted by HEIST Badass.
Really though, considering how many times my friends and I have been approached by a complete stranger offering to buy us drinks, I'm surprised most of you do not do it (or only do it once in a conversation, and that makes sense to me). | When I lived in Canada (many years ago) it was super-common. Not so much around here though... |
11-18-2011, 06:44 PM
|  | Yeah, I've got the moves like Jagger. | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: G.R. MI | | | Buying a lady a drink at the bar is akin to digging the pry bar out of the tool box when you have two things stuck together that you want to get apart......
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Originally Posted by BassChalice Everybody pay attention to Phalex now! | Quote:
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Originally Posted by hover He's got the Moo OO OO OO OO OO OO OObs like Jagger.... | |
11-18-2011, 07:31 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? | | | If I buy drinks, it's out of generosity and I don't "expect" anything back. But I'd say I'm not a very accurate representation of drink-buying single guys.
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Originally Posted by tom once dead Also to prove my Australianism, I've been stung by an irukandji jellyfish before, while snorkelling at an island looking at stingrays. | |
11-18-2011, 07:38 PM
| | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex Buying a lady a drink at the bar is akin to digging the pry bar out of the tool box when you have two things stuck together that you want to get apart...... | Well played!
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