Calling home knowing the kid will be beaten

**MAJOR METAL** · #1 05-08-2008, 07:33 AM

What would you do if you were a teacher and you had a student that had by far the worst classroom behavior you have ever encountered and you learn after a call home results in a beating of the student.This beating temporarily modifys the students behavior for the positive. A few weeks go by and the out of control disrespect of teacher and other students begins again , would you call home knowing the probability the student will be beaten again ?

Jared Lash · #2 05-08-2008, 07:37 AM

Call home and ask if you can cut out the middle man and just beat the child yourself. I think the parents will appreciate this time saving measure.

Um, on a serious note you do know that as an educator you are required by law to report evidence of child abuse right? After all, if what you are describing doesn't meet the criterion of abuse, then I don't see the problem. And if it does, then you need to take the proper steps as dictated by your school/district etc.

txbasschik · #3 05-08-2008, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAJOR METAL

What would you do if you were a teacher and you had a student that had by far the worst classroom behavior you have ever encountered and you learn after a call home results in a beating of the student.This beating temporarily modifys the students behavior for the positive. A few weeks go by and the out of control disrespect of teacher and other students begins again , would you call home knowing the probability the student will be beaten again ?

Perhaps the student could be referred to the school's counsellor? At my daughter's elementary school, kids with problems like this are often sent for counselling. The parent has to give permission, but then the counsellor can evaluate the child and find ways to get him or her out of the abusive situation.

The teacher and counsellor would also need to contact law enforcement.

When you say "beating", you're not talking about a spanking, right? You're talking about a *beating*, which is a completely different thing. My parents spanked me, up until I was about nine. I got what I feel like was a beating, abuse, once. I'd gotten in trouble at school, and lied to my folks about it. I was in 3rd grade.

My father just totally lost it, and instead of giving a normal spanking, kept wailing away with the belt, with his full strength, screaming at me, and picked me up and shook me, and used the belt on my back, my legs...all over. So hard he left bad marks on me, which had never been the case before.

There was definitely a difference...it was all coming from uncontrolled rage, not from a need to discipline. A spanking never made me feel frightened of real harm...this session certainly did. I could tell the difference. I'd never felt abused, until that moment. It only happened once, but I never forgot it. There's a difference, and kids can tell the difference.

Cherie

fenderhutz · #4 05-08-2008, 07:47 AM

I am not going to start a war on here. Discipline and beating are two different evils.

If they are beating their child report it. If they are spanking their child and you don't agree with it, unless the kid has bruises and tells you they are beating him/her I wouldn't get involved.

playinpearls · #5 05-08-2008, 08:10 AM

+1

Kids these days can call child services if you take away their playstation controller, unless there is physical evidence, i wouldn't say anything either.

bassman1185 · #6 05-08-2008, 09:40 AM

Abuse and physical discipline are as different as rape and consensual, loving sex. They might be the same basic action, but the intent is what defines the impact.

Pilgrim · #7 05-08-2008, 09:44 AM

If I knew the kid was going to be beaten, my call would be to child protective services before the parents. Beating is never, ever, no way, justified.

And it's probably a big reason the kid acts the way he/she does.

mothmonsterman · #8 05-08-2008, 09:56 AM

Well though i'm a "pro beat the crap out of your bastard child".
There are instances where parents take it too far.

If there are physical signs of beatings then child protective services should be called.
Other than that it's is up to the teacher to notify the schools social worker to interview the child and suggest some evaluations to suggest medications or other forms of disipline because beating aren't working.

Jereth · #9 05-08-2008, 10:02 AM

If you think the kid is in real danger, then yes. If you think the kid is crying wolf, then no...

MakiSupaStar · #10 05-08-2008, 10:08 AM

Sounds like you're working in a school similar to mine. By law you are required to report what you see. The kid might say he is beaten, but if his behavior is positively adjusted, and he does not show any signs of abuse then you have nothing to report. Heck I used to say that my parents would kill me if I got a call home. On the other hand, I have reported abuse and it's pretty apparent. Strangely enough, each case that I have reported has been with children that are generally happy-go-lucky, but always seem to have a story about how they are clumsy. Make the call, report anything suspicious.

Interesting story. I was once visited by a students father on the day he got out of prison. This dude was a huge vato. Tats up to his neckline. Teardrops, and a stare that looked right through you. The only time I've been nervous in my job (to the point that I was thinking about my exit out of the room if stuff started to go down). He asked about his sons performance and why he was getting an F in my class. I told him why. He goofs off and doesn't turn in any work. He calmly said "ok." I could see in his face that his son was going to be a bad place (eventhough his son was not a gang banger). He said. "Mr. Ham, thank you for your time. My son will have all the work he owes you by tomorrow." He son had an "A" by the end of the year. I don't know what happened, whether it was his father being back in his life, or whether his father scared the crap out of him, but that kid turned around. This ex-con dad also told me to tell him the names of the other kids who were failing my class. So I did, he knew most of them. He said he knew their fathers and that he will see to it that their grades will improve to. And they did. Moral of the story. Sometimes the fear of abuse can be motivating. This dad simply told me that he will see to it that his son does not end up like him.

Jereth · #11 05-08-2008, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Sounds like you're working in a school similar to mine. By law you are required to report what you see. The kid might say he is beaten, but if his behavior is positively adjusted, and he does not show any signs of abuse then you have nothing to report. Heck I used to say that my parents would kill me if I got a call home. On the other hand, I have reported abuse and it's pretty apparent. Strangely enough, each case that I have reported has been with children that are generally happy-go-lucky, but always seem to have a story about how they are clumsy. Make the call, report anything suspicious.

Interesting story. I was once visited by a students father on the day he got out of prison. This dude was a huge vato. Tats up to his neckline. Teardrops, and a stare that looked right through you. The only time I've been nervous in my job (to the point that I was thinking about my exit out of the room if stuff started to go down). He asked about his sons performance and why he was getting an F in my class. I told him why. He goofs off and doesn't turn in any work. He calmly said "ok." I could see in his face that his son was going to be a bad place (eventhough his son was not a gang banger). He said. "Mr. Ham, thank you for your time. My son will have all the work he owes you by tomorrow." He son had an "A" by the end of the year. I don't know what happened, whether it was his father being back in his life, or whether his father scared the crap out of him, but that kid turned around. This ex-con dad also told me to tell him the names of the other kids who were failing my class. So I did, he knew most of them. He said he knew their fathers and that he will see to it that their grades will improve to. And they did. Moral of the story. Sometimes the fear of abuse can be motivating. This dad simply told me that he will see to it that his son does not end up like him.

Whoah!

Cool story actually!

mothmonsterman · #12 05-08-2008, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Sounds like you're working in a school similar to mine. By law you are required to report what you see. The kid might say he is beaten, but if his behavior is positively adjusted, and he does not show any signs of abuse then you have nothing to report. Heck I used to say that my parents would kill me if I got a call home. On the other hand, I have reported abuse and it's pretty apparent. Strangely enough, each case that I have reported has been with children that are generally happy-go-lucky, but always seem to have a story about how they are clumsy. Make the call, report anything suspicious.

Interesting story. I was once visited by a students father on the day he got out of prison. This dude was a huge vato. Tats up to his neckline. Teardrops, and a stare that looked right through you. The only time I've been nervous in my job (to the point that I was thinking about my exit out of the room if stuff started to go down). He asked about his sons performance and why he was getting an F in my class. I told him why. He goofs off and doesn't turn in any work. He calmly said "ok." I could see in his face that his son was going to be a bad place (eventhough his son was not a gang banger). He said. "Mr. Ham, thank you for your time. My son will have all the work he owes you by tomorrow." He son had an "A" by the end of the year. I don't know what happened, whether it was his father being back in his life, or whether his father scared the crap out of him, but that kid turned around. This ex-con dad also told me to tell him the names of the other kids who were failing my class. So I did, he knew most of them. He said he knew their fathers and that he will see to it that their grades will improve to. And they did. Moral of the story. Sometimes the fear of abuse can be motivating. This dad simply told me that he will see to it that his son does not end up like him.

Pity their aren't more parents like this, especially as he goes out of his way to talk to other parents in the community.
I look around at the student population here, see 400 kids come in as freshmen, and 30 of them graduate, the rest are either in jail, drop outs, or pregnant.
In fact i believe 6 middle school students are knocked up this semester.

MakiSupaStar · #13 05-08-2008, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mothmonsterman

Pity their aren't more parents like this, especially as he goes out of his way to talk to other parents in the community.
I look around at the student population here, see 400 kids come in as freshmen, and 30 of them graduate, the rest are either in jail, drop outs, or pregnant.
In fact i believe 6 middle school students are knocked up this semester.

Sometimes you find allies in the strangest places.

FL Knifemaker · #14 05-08-2008, 10:21 AM

Beatings should continue until moral improves.

casualmadness · #15 05-08-2008, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FL Knifemaker

Beatings should continue until moral improves.

Wow, I think I might have worked for you once...

Baryonyx · #16 05-08-2008, 10:49 AM

I'd call social services and the police.

Croox · #17 05-08-2008, 10:56 AM

I'd call home again.
maybe the kid will get the point, stop F'in up and you'll stop calling his 'rents who are laying down the discipline

daofktr · #18 05-09-2008, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAJOR METAL

What would you do if you were a teacher and you had a student that had by far the worst classroom behavior you have ever encountered and you learn after a call home results in a beating of the student.This beating temporarily modifys the students behavior for the positive. A few weeks go by and the out of control disrespect of teacher and other students begins again , would you call home knowing the probability the student will be beaten again ?

One (hyphenated) word: speed-dial.

::::BASSIST:::: · #19 05-09-2008, 01:10 AM

The student should go on a contract. This contract is written up by you, the principal, and the school counsellor and the parent. All sign off on it. The student is given full disclosure of the contract. The contract states that X behaviour gets Y consequence. Every time X behaviour occurs Y consequence MUST follow. Otherwise the student will not take it seriously. Another thing to keep in mind is to focus on a handful of unwanted behaviours at a time. You are not going to solve all the problems overnight.

I once knew a teacher who had an 11 year old girl in his class. She would swear quite often. The "F" word was her favourite. She would swear at the teacher or fellow students and her behaviour was totally unacceptable. A contract was written up that stipulated if the girl swore in class, a phone call home was made and the mother agreed to bring the daughter home for the rest of the day. This happened quite a few times in the beginning, but the girl was bored sitting at home watching daytime tv while her friends were at school. So slowly, but surely, her behaviour improved so that by the end of the year she rarely swore in class.