Can you love someone that you've never met?

[Kwesi]

I'm curious to see what TB thinks on the subject. Every once in a while you'll hear of folks who fell in love without ever having met each other in person. I hadn't personally known anyone who claimed to have done so... until now. My family was on vacation in NYC for about 4 days (some vacation, eh?) and when I got back a friend of my said he'd gotten himself a girlfriend. Naturally, I assumed this was the girl he had been talking to for maybe 2 months now -- I was wrong. He told me that he met her on some website or another the day we left for New York (the Sunday before last).

Sometimes, folks just click, and everything just works out for them with minimal issues but I'd guess that those occurrences are pretty darn rare. I congratulated him and everything but I also asked him if he thought he was moving too fast. He said something along the lines of them just getting along that well and I shrugged it off. But, the more I think of it, the weirder it sounds. They've only seen each other online and I'm not sure if they've even talked on the phone and they've already said that they love each other and I'm like, "Whaa...?" I have no plans on getting involved unless she starts causing trouble but just thought I'd see what the TBOT crowd thinks about these kinds of situations (not just my friend's in particular).

[macaroni tony]

I think it's impossible to love someone you've never met. It takes years of experience and self-sacrifice on both parts to get to that point.

However, there can be two people who just fit together so well, that they can tell right away.

Case in point: Myself and Mrs. Macaroni. I first met her in my 10th grade PE class. I knew almost nothing about her besides her name, and vice versa. We never even came close to dating in high school, and I never even entertained the thought. But, I kid you not, something always bugged me from age 15 onward, saying "This is the girl I'm going to marry."

[Funky Ghost]

I think you can certainly fall in love with who you think they are without meeting face to face. Being face to face affords you the ability to read expressions and other, less obvious biochemical interactions that can sway your opinion. It seems likely that if you have a preexisting affection, it would certainly make the culmination of the feeling easier in a face to face.

[MatticusMania]

Without meeting face to face, yes. Technically your friend did meet this other person, just not in person. Love comes from a place inside that is not determined by physical attributes. Communication is one of the biggest factors in regards to two people feeling emotionally about one another.

[Ziltoid]

Just clicks = no coitus


no for me.

[RosieB]

One of my best friends is very happily married to a guy she met on the Internet. They "dated" for quite a while before they met, briefly, in person. She moved to Ohio from England to marry him. Think it's been about 8-10 years now. So, based on their reality, I'd have to say yes.

[hover]

Is this why skype was invented?

[hover]

Originally Posted by Ziltoid

Just clicks = no coitus


no for me.

too hung up on the physical. that isn't "love". Sure, it's a part of it, but just sayin.

[HollowBassman]

It seems everyone has their own definition for love so its hard to say.

I think that love is a deliberate action, but many seem to believe it is an uncontrollable state of being or affliction. When I hear someone say that they "are in love", "fell in love", or "you can't help who you love" it irritates me because I don't agree with their definition.

I think the word(s) your friend was looking for would be "lust", or "really, really like".

[Ziltoid]

Originally Posted by hover

too hung up on the physical. that isn't "love". Sure, it's a part of it, but just sayin.

It's part of it and I'm not interested in a fraction of love, hence my initial statement

[fenderhutz]

Sure, stalkers do it all the time.

[hover]

Originally Posted by Ziltoid

It's part of it and I'm not interested in a fraction of love, hence my initial statement

I dig bro, I'm not judging, I agree. But to some people, that's all there is in the equation.

[jmattbassplaya]

I fall in love about a hundred times a day. There are so many hot college girls here that I don't even know where to begin.

[Muaguana]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Without meeting face to face, yes. Technically your friend did meet this other person, just not in person. Love comes from a place inside that is not determined by physical attributes. Communication is one of the biggest factors in regards to two people feeling emotionally about one another.

+1.

And, like another poster said, everyone seems to have their own definition for what love is. I had an online relationship once, and only met her in person twice - during summer and winter vacations - and while things eventually didn't work out between us, I do think that what I felt during that time was love. But I'm one of those who believes that love doesn't always last forever. So I vote yes.

[FreaqyFrequency]

The person who posts here under username Bett and I met on the UTBC (Unofficial TB Chat, for those unfamiliar with the acronym) in 2009. It took us over a year to finally arrange the face to face meeting, and we are still together and very happy.

A resounding yes.

[Ziltoid]

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

I fall in love about a hundred times a day. There are so many hot college girls here that I don't even know where to begin.

Quantity my friend, quantity.

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by Ziltoid

Quantity my friend, quantity.

The man speaks the troof.

[Ziltoid]

Originally Posted by hover

I dig bro, I'm not judging, I agree. But to some people, that's all there is in the equation.

Re-thinking about this never mind my answer, I am interested in a fraction of love, but only if it's the coitus part.

[Strohsx]

Eharmony guarantees it.

Friends start getting desperate after 30

[sloasdaylight]

You can fall in love with the idea of some one you've never met, but I don't think you can fall in love with the person, and that love certainly can't be reciprocated if you haven't actually met in some form or fashion.