The Christmas Bass (Twas the Night Before Christmas on TB)

hbarcat · #1 12-24-2008, 12:59 AM

Twas the Night Before Christmas (TB version)

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through TalkBass
Not a member was stirring, all was quiet in the place
Some threads had been closed, the fun wasn't there
For the ones that were open, there wasn't a care

The mods were all nestled nice and snug in their beds
While visions of troll banning danced in their heads
I checked through old topics and saw something alive
The Endless Word Association Thread (now in Part V)

When all of a sudden there arose a new thread
I sprang up to read it, to see what it said
My fingers on keyboard, were typing so fast
My mouse buttons clicking, text scrolling on past

ampegfuzz's girlfriend had a story to tell
Her dad in a storage shed found something swell
A beat up old instrument, but perhaps something more
A $50 Mystery Bass -- Vintage Score???

She said "Let's send it to him, it would make a nice joke"
"We'll even pay shipping" ('cause we know that he's broke)
Then ampegfuzz anxiously sat by the door
Imagining rare, vintage basses galore

All Thursday and Friday and Saturday, too
He waited for the delivery guy to come through
Then Sunday and Monday both came and went
With no bass appearing (had it really been sent?)

Some TalkBass members began to get mad
They'd subscribed to this thread, now they thought they'd been had
But his hopes were raised high as Tuesday dawned bright
UPS told him he'd get his package that night

The first thread got closed as the post count grew higher
A secong thread opened to continue as prior
Then it too was closed as some posted with sleaze
The mod said, "Keep this crap in the OT forum, please"

A third thread was started (this time in the right place)
Across their rooms TalkBass members started to pace
Then suddenly ampegfuzz posted "IT'S HERE"
"There'll be pics in a minute!" and we all gathered near

The first pictures showed an old bass, worn and beat
Still, it had charm - in fact it looked pretty neat
It had many knobs and switches and a bridge cover, too
All the chrome made it shiny, though it was far from new

The neck was hand painted with vines on the back
By someone who clearly didn't have the knack
The tuners had tiny bass icons painted there
The pink one especially made me stare

It was an old and cheap Japanese Teisco bass
The posts came so fast it looked like a race
They said "That's cool" and "How quaint" and "You can't beat the price"
"Thank your girlfriend and her father for being so nice!"

But ampegfuzz had one more thing to confess
He'd proposed to his girfriend (and of course she said, "Yes")
And someone said, "It's a Christmas miracle, for sure!"
A new bass and fiancee, his reward for thoughts pure

And as the thread continued on with words of good cheer
I knew that a Hall of Fame nomination was near
Because the holiday spirit is overflowing this place
Merry Christmas to all - thanks to "The Christmas Bass"

Araillac · #2 12-24-2008, 01:04 AM

Dude that was awesome. That was really good. I don't want those 2 minutes back that I spent to read that. That was a good investment of time on my part and so is posting this cause I got my new keyboard and it's just swell typing instead of clicking letters with a mouse.