Christmas gift giving madness

hover · #1 12-09-2010, 08:59 PM

Am I alone in the thought, that regardless of having the means, or economy, or anything, that Christmas is not and should not be a freakin cash-in?

I am constantly within earshot of people, be it work or otherwise, even family that are braying on and on about getting their spouse / s.o. / parents/ kids some rather exorbitant gifts...we're talking hundreds, up to even potentially thousands of dollars worth of.....stuff. And complaints on top of complaints of having to buy for this that and the other person.

Stuff that isn't necessary, or often, not even original. My Wife remarks that the past two "black Fridays" she shopped in were a gross gluttony of people just buying up all the flat screens they could slam in a cart...or other mindless gifts like that. I just don't see the point.

I dunno. I just always stuck to a modest budget for the kids, and had the short list of people on my to get for list, that comprised of people that really impact my life often and consistently. I have "close" family who I never even see...mush like other people remark to having bought for, and I would not even consider going out of my way to make sure they were "covered".

And don't EVEN get me started on gift cards. Nothing says "man, I really don't care to think hard enough about what you might like" than a gift card. "Here...you go buy your own gift, I'll just throw money your way". Talk about a half-hearted attempt.

What ever happened to the kids getting a cool toy or three, and family getting together to hoot and holler and not, at the end of that one short day, spend the next 5 months in massive debt? Not to mention none of this remotely reflects the true meaning of the day in question.

Discuss, if you like. No "bah humbugging" here, just more like "r u serious with all that?"

hrodbert696 · #2 12-10-2010, 05:37 AM

We try to keep Christmas somewhere near a budget, enough to have gift-opening on Christmas morning actually take a little time and for everyone to feel they get some nice things, but not so much as to break the bank and bury us in stuff. We aim for about $100 for each person in the nuclear family and $10-20 each for grandparents and cousins, etc. Our kids understand this and don't go crazy asking for too much -- if anything we need to drag their wish lists out of them.

The spasm of frantic buying drives me nuts too -- and I'm the spender in the family. It kills me when Christmas advertising starts showing up around Thanksgiving. On the other hand, I know that a lot of the retailers are not running such huge profit margins through the year and a lot of them count on Christmas to end the year in the black, so I can't really fault them for trying to drum up business.

Another way to go, with my really extended family for instance, is "white elephants," "yankee swaps," or Secret Santas so that everyone can gather and exchange gifts without everyone needing to buy for everyone else and breaking the budget.

hover · #3 12-10-2010, 06:33 AM

Yup. we do the Yankee Swap for the larger family get together on the Wife's side. The siblings on both sides agreed that it's really the kids we need to concern ourselves for...funny, my Daughter, in all of her 16 X-masses, has not ONCE made a list. She loves the notion, but "gets" it. She's good every year. My son drops hints now and then, but again, it's never anything exorbitant. This year's wish was a Fushigi ball, and he just got it for his Birthday a week ago.

Personally, I just really dig the hang out and get togethers and feeling like I ate way too damn much for a few days...the togetherness that the hustle and bustle of the other 360 days or so tend to keep us *apart*, you know?

I dunno, it still chaps my ass when someone in the family tree pulls a douche move and spends too big, and showy, and I have a good feeling who that will be this year.....ugh. Let the games commence!

NS2A · #4 12-10-2010, 06:57 AM

It's just gotten WAY out of hand. It's funny, but if you look at the economic numbers, it's not much better than the last 3 years. But people have "Frugal fatigue"

they are sick of not spending, so they are now spending.

I wonder how much of this stuff people really NEED, then again, look at the site we're on, how much gear is really needed?

stratovani · #5 12-10-2010, 07:06 AM

We've gone to the Yankee Swap thing as well, and we limit it to a range of $30-$60. That way you can get a decent gift, and since you're only buying for one person it, not too budget-busting. The one I have to watch is my wife - she spends like an emotional woman who doesn't use her head (which she is)!

Frankly, Christmas is such a downer for me - crass commercialism, phony "peace on earth" sentiments, stupid, inane music, an orgy of gifts, and then the day after you wonder why you got all worked up for just a few hours in a day. Pointless.

**Vorago** · #6 12-10-2010, 07:21 AM

I spend 20 dollar on close family & 50 on my gf. That's it.

Jonyak · #7 12-10-2010, 07:25 AM

ahh mass consumerism.

hover · #8 12-10-2010, 07:55 AM

Stratovani, I agree. It's so weird, this notion that there has to be some validation of how much you love someone by their reaction to openning something big and spendy. I've been through the whole puppy-love over-doting phase with the Missus (that was 17-20 years ago), and we just find it silly. I still like to get her a little something....

My Wife and I forego getting gifts for each other at Christmas, because, franly, we're grown and we usually wait until tax-time, and book a nice bed-n-breakfast weekend to be able to "reconnect / reinvest" with each other after the season is done...

PSPookie · #9 12-10-2010, 08:01 AM

Meh, I like getting stuff for my wife and kids. We can afford it and I like seeing their faces when they open the gifts.

Perhaps it's an attempt to make up for slackasstic parrenting and husbanding for the rest of the year or maybe it just makes me feel like a Big Man. Either way, it works for me.

R. Laevinus · #10 12-10-2010, 08:04 AM

I don't do special occaision gifts, for anybody, ever. Not Christmas, not Hannukah, not birthdays, not anniversaries, not christenings, Bar Mitzvahs, weddings, anything. Ever.

What I do do, is if at any random time during the year I spot something that I feel one of my friends or family should have, I pick it up and pass it on.

Works like a charm.

dj150888 · #11 12-10-2010, 08:19 AM

I'm not a man who pays particular heed to religious holidays, so the big thing I look forward to at Christmas is getting together with my family, eating a ridiculous amount of food and going for a few drinks with my dad, since we don't get a chance the rest of the year.

As for gifts, I tend to buy small, sentimental presents for the people closest to me, and we do a secret santa in the band with a budget of the equivalent of $10-15.

The folks tend to get me a new pair of boots and a couple of wee bits for my house at xmas. I'm forever complaining that "I'm a big boy now" and theres no need to spend so much on me, but theres no telling them! In saying that, I know kids who grew up near me who would barely be fed and clothed the rest of the year, but at christmas, their parents would go off and spend well over a grand on their xmas presents. I always felt that I'd rather have my parents the other 364 days of the year than some pointlessly exhorbitant present one day a year.

stratovani · #12 12-10-2010, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hover

Stratovani, I agree. It's so weird, this notion that there has to be some validation of how much you love someone by their reaction to openning something big and spendy. I've been through the whole puppy-love over-doting phase with the Missus (that was 17-20 years ago), and we just find it silly. I still like to get her a little something....

My Wife and I forego getting gifts for each other at Christmas, because, franly, we're grown and we usually wait until tax-time, and book a nice bed-n-breakfast weekend to be able to "reconnect / reinvest" with each other after the season is done...

Man, I like that idea! I'll definitely have to keep that in mind for next spring!

tplyons · #13 12-11-2010, 10:52 AM

I can't stand the commercialism. The girl at work next to me added up how much she spent on everyone and it was over a thousand dollars, between her boyfriend, parents, girlfriends, roommates from school, etc. We're talking about $100 apiece for family and $400 on her boyfriend. I was floored!

My parents still want to spend a lot on me, but I refuse to let them. I ordered myself a new Devils jersey with my name on the back, and saved them a ton of money doing it. I'll be getting that for Christmas, and a bunch of socks... honestly, that's the only thing I need. Anything else I need or want is frankly more than I want them to spend on me.

My brother and me have set a limit of $60-75. It's enough to get each other something useful without breaking the bank. My parents on the other hand, I spend about $50. Plus about $30 or so for gift exchanges at work, etc. I don't plan on spending more than $200 this Holiday season.

I'd rather spend the money taking my friends out to dinner and spending time with them, talking to them. And my friends all appreciate this. I wish this was more commonplace.

I can't stand the thought of a family spending thousands on Christmas, going into debt for something nobody needs or wants. I guess we bassists are the outcasts in society for being levelheaded and fiscally responsible, but I'd rather see the money spent as it's needed, than once a year for stuff that's going to be forgotten about by February.

Kwesi · #14 12-11-2010, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hover

And don't EVEN get me started on gift cards. Nothing says "man, I really don't care to think hard enough about what you might like" than a gift card. "Here...you go buy your own gift, I'll just throw money your way". Talk about a half-hearted attempt.

I will NEVER understand this mentality. I hate gift cards, they're quite possibly the stupidest gift concept ever created. Massive exception to the VISA gift cards which I think are amazing. Personally, I think that money is the best gift I can get. I don't want to sound ungrateful here but I can't count the times that my Dad has gotten me hundreds of dollars in stuff that I have no use for (guitar strings, light gauge picks, fake drumkit) and didn't keep the receipts. Some people are just awful gift buyers. And even if you aren't How is money half-hearted? Sure "actual" gifts can be nice but being able to choose what is actually bought is becoming much more accepted amongst us young folk

.

Kwesi · #15 12-11-2010, 11:56 AM

MY personal philosophy with gift buying is to buy something that the other person will love. Period. Of course, I'm not gonna lose an arm an a limb to do that but I want to get a gift that they will use, enjoy, or look at for some time to come. I don't care about the commercialization of Christmas because it doesn't affect me besides set the time I try to buy my gifts (Black Friday, Cyber Monday, etc.). I don't want whoever I'm buying a gift for to say "Oh, that's nice!", I want them to love it. You can see in someones face when they know they're not going to make use of whatever you've gotten. I've had that look many times myself. The long and short of it is that I'm against "trinket buying."

DwaynieAD · #16 12-11-2010, 02:42 PM

i'd rather recieve nothing than something i dont want and i'm perfectly happy to get nothing, i dont open my gifts until i've seen my kids and my girlfriend open theirs. that being said i never feel like i've bought enough for my kids or gf.

my mother used to be the biggest "buying me something i dont want" culprit, now she buys me things for my house.. i love this getting a steam mop this year

i get pictures of my sisters kids from her and decorate my fridge, works for me.

hover · #17 12-11-2010, 02:55 PM

Kwesi, it's in keeping with my "cash-in" comment regarding the holiday as it applies to gift cards. My Dad just shoves cash in my hand. I'm not saying cash is evil or anything, I just find it a little impersonal. My view, not yours, no harm no foul.

"F" for effort, know what I'm sayin?

tplyons · #18 12-12-2010, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hover

Kwesi, it's in keeping with my "cash-in" comment regarding the holiday as it applies to gift cards. My Dad just shoves cash in my hand. I'm not saying cash is evil or anything, I just find it a little impersonal. My view, not yours, no harm no foul.

"F" for effort, know what I'm sayin?

I'm with Kwesi on this one... when I was in college, my Christmas list had one thing on it... "CASH"

Honestly, it allowed me to pool everything together and get exactly what I wanted and couldn't afford. Nothing impersonal there since that's exactly what I wanted, and people knew I wanted.

Nowadays, cash is kind of lame. But gift cards are perfectly acceptable in my mind, my grandma gets them for me for every occasion. Best Buy, Borders and iTunes, and I'm perfectly happy. No harm no foul here.

Now if I get a gift card that's something like $20 to Jos. A Bank, where I have to spend a lot of money out of pocket to get something, that's a whole other story. Impersonal, AND useless.

jazza42uk · #19 12-12-2010, 09:24 AM

The whole overblown Xmas Machine makes me sick. I could quite happily grab some good books & DVDs and a decent bottle of single malt, and shut myself away till January. Call me bah-humbug if you want.

Kwesi · #20 12-12-2010, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hover

Kwesi, it's in keeping with my "cash-in" comment regarding the holiday as it applies to gift cards. My Dad just shoves cash in my hand. I'm not saying cash is evil or anything, I just find it a little impersonal. My view, not yours, no harm no foul.

"F" for effort, know what I'm sayin?

Yea, I see where you're coming from. When dealing with family, card would be nice and stuff. I just love money so as long as I get it I'm happy, lol. Gift cards are... ugh. I like the itunes gift cards because I'm always looking for music but I once got a gift card to McDonalds. I wanted to cry. I would've rather had someone throw money money on the ground and spit on it, at least I can still use it at an establishment that I actually enjoy

.