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  #1  
Old 09-06-2011, 09:00 PM
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Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder

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My wife and I are fostering a 17 year old mother of an 18 month child. She has been diagnosed with BPD and while fairly early for that diagnosis, we feel it is accurate, based on our 2 year relationship with her. Obviously, she's in therapy and we're getting lots of insight from her therapist, but I'm seeking any insight any of you with experience in this area can offer as well.
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  #2  
Old 09-06-2011, 09:13 PM
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I dont have any advice. But you are a saint!
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Old 09-06-2011, 09:18 PM
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medication.
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Old 09-06-2011, 09:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sandmangeck
I dont have any advice. But you are a saint!
Hardly... She's a sweet kid who's been handed a pretty lousy hand so far. We're just trying to give her some stability and love.
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Old 09-06-2011, 09:19 PM
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I'm afraid I don't have any information, but kudos to you for doing something like this.
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Old 09-06-2011, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runmikeyrun
medication.
There isn't really any for that disorder. It's all about therapy and behavior modification...
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  #7  
Old 09-06-2011, 09:22 PM
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We've been in her life for 10 years, "parenting" her for 2, and the diagnosis was just last week. We are planning on adopting her ASAP as well.
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  #8  
Old 09-06-2011, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by bradjonesbass View Post
There isn't really any for that disorder. It's all about therapy and behavior modification...
Then make sure she sticks with the therapy and doesn't start drinking or doing drugs. That'll put anyone with a mental illness back to square one real quick.
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Old 09-06-2011, 09:29 PM
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There are internet support groups for parents of children and teenagers with BPD and bipolar - my mother is a member of one. I'll see if I can get the name of it, just for reference's sake.

Edit: It's the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation (they also have a lot of parents of children with BPD): http://www.bpkids.org/
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Old 09-06-2011, 11:11 PM
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Most mental health professionals will tell you BPD is one of the most difficult conditions to deal with. Best of luck to you.
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:22 AM
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Be more of a friend to her. Bipolar just means she has different personalities. Try to understand her, that's the most anyone asks for.
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:25 AM
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:33 AM
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Old 09-07-2011, 02:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Byron92
Be more of a friend to her. Bipolar just means she has different personalities. Try to understand her, that's the most anyone asks for.
She's not bipolar, she's borderline. Severe childhood trauma, abandonment, and sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. She's disociative, and has a history of intense, short relationships that end abruptly and badly. She also fits almost all of the other criteria. She does, however display genuine compassion and empathy for other people and animals, and they've caught it very early, so there is a lot of hope for her.
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Old 09-07-2011, 06:33 AM
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Clearly Byron92 means well but has no idea what Bipolar is. Anyway, best of luck. It sounds like your daughter is going to have a wonderful, supportive family that will help her to deal with her BPD. She's very lucky to have you guys.
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Old 09-07-2011, 06:41 AM
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  #17  
Old 09-07-2011, 06:49 AM
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a good book to read is I Hate You, Dont Leave Me- my daughter has BPD and that equals alot of drama. Be careful that you and your wife dont get completely worn out or burnt out.
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Old 09-07-2011, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by searchfunction
a good book to read is I Hate You, Dont Leave Me- my daughter has BPD and that equals alot of drama. Be careful that you and your wife dont get completely worn out or burnt out.
Also recommended by her therapist... Going out to get it today.
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  #19  
Old 09-07-2011, 09:39 AM
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One of the things my wife and I did for our foster/adopting kids mom was show her how parents are supposed to act, what a loving relationship is supposed to be like, not just with her kids but with each other - if you act like normal people around her and expect her to act the same it may help. Peer pressure does work...
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  #20  
Old 09-07-2011, 11:03 AM
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I think that the absolutely biggest part of the battle, is getting her to realize that she has this disorder. If she already recognizes this, then behavior modification and lifestyle changes are possible.
Many folks with related disorders externalize and never see or accept that they are the root cause of their issues.. then the viscous circle persists
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