Death Stars for the wife and I

[bongomania]

I was thinking of picking up a couple of Death Stars for me and my wife, just for homeworld defense and occasional sport shooting. Are there places that teach beginners how to use these properly, and ranges for target practice? Are there liability laws we should be aware of? I'm 105 years old and my wife is 172--will the Death Star be too difficult for us to handle at our age? She's just a head in a jar actually, but jar security is important to her, and having a Death Star would give her peace of mind. We saw a used one at a very fair price, but it's from 1977 and the seller said it could use some bodywork and a tuneup... should we go for it?

[Bassman316]

LOL! Damn, there goes soda all over my keyboard....

[StonewallValent]

Make sure your son can't pilot an x-wing, or you will find yourself unhappy in the future.

[lousybassplayer]

And board up the freaking thermal vent. Most common mod to deathstars, and my personal favorite.

[shadowtippy]

Be careful when buying a deathstar. They can be destroyed by a long haired kid and a robot.

[relwof]

Originally Posted by bongomania

I was thinking of picking up a couple of Death Stars for me and my wife, just for homeworld defense and occasional sport shooting. Are there places that teach beginners how to use these properly, and ranges for target practice? Are there liability laws we should be aware of? I'm 105 years old and my wife is 172--will the Death Star be too difficult for us to handle at our age? She's just a head in a jar actually, but jar security is important to her, and having a Death Star would give her peace of mind. We saw a used one at a very fair price, but it's from 1977 and the seller said it could use some bodywork and a tuneup... should we go for it?

Might be a bit overkill, unless you have someone flinging heavily-armed planets in your general direction. That said, Death Stars are rarely capable of handling armed galaxies, so make sure you know how rough your neighborhood actually is. There are plenty of great places for target practice, but you might want to avoid the local galactic bar at first - things get pretty intense down there. Pick on underdeveloped areas until you've gained operational confidence. The Orion Spur's a great spot to start - nothing of consequence out there.

And you won't need much training to run one, although you will need an extensive supply of minions (hopefully you have no objections to cloning) and droids. Jarheads are naturally capable of managing more minions than you'll ever need - your wife will likely adapt more easily than you.

Liability will not be an issue as long as you never become separated from the Death Star. Lawyers tend to be strongly motivated by a desire for self preservation.

[relwof]

Originally Posted by lousybassplayer

And board up the freaking thermal vent. Most common mod to deathstars, and my personal favorite.

Strange, we were in the third century of extensive debates on which board material would be most appropriate for that very mod when my third Death Star inexplicably exploded...

[hover]

You should be fine, just for chrissakes, don't leave your blinker on when doing lightspeed...all kindsa crap could happen.

And tell the Missus not to flsuh "sanitary stuff" into the trash compactor...makes the one-eyed squishy thing constipated.

[lousybassplayer]

I am not sure that deathstars are capable of light speed. All the best ones were made before stardate 1966CBSBUYOUT.

[hover]

Hey, when yer that old, everything feels like lightspeed...I was trying to make him feel good about his purchase(s)

[lousybassplayer]

Ahhh, my mistake. I personally would go for the one that only looks half done. Kind of a sleeper.

[EricF]

My wife and I had a matching his-and-hers set of Death Stars for a while, but the maintenance costs became atronomical, and it just became a total pain in the afterburners to keep the things ready for planetary destruction. We found someone to take them off our hands in trade for a bouple of lounge chairs and a protocol droid.

[hover]

Yeah, truthfully, I ended up trading mine in, because everytime I went to space port, some douche smuggler asked me if the thing had a Hemi.

[alembicguy]

What would be the best Death Star for metal?

[colcifer]

Unfortunately, Death Stars aren't appropriate for homeworld defense. Because are no known threats to earth large enough for a Death Star to reliably aim at, you are far more likely to destroy an impertinent and innocent space object than your attacker. Also, they cost 15.6 septillion dollars.

[Deluge Of Sound]

Originally Posted by colcifer

Unfortunately, Death Stars aren't appropriate for homeworld defense. Because are no known threats to earth large enough for a Death Star to reliably aim at, you are far more likely to destroy an impertinent and innocent space object than your attacker. Also, they cost 15.6 septillion dollars.

Better to have a Death Star and need it, then to need a Death Star and not have it.

[Kwesi]

Maybe you could give Porkins a break this time, eh?

[PhatBasstard]

Naw....
Get a Constellation Class Starship from "Honest Spock's, Federation Certified, Pre-Flown Starcruisers" instead.

More manuverable, faster, sporty and the Green Chicks dig-um.

Plus, the MPG on a Death Star is terrible.
Makes a Hummer look fuel efficient.

[MJ5150]

This is the best of them all.

-Mike

[Kwesi]

Originally Posted by Deluge Of Sound

Better to have a Death Star and need it, then to need a Death Star and not have it.

*sigh* that's exactly what gram-gram used to say. I wish I had listened to her .