Definitive signs

Dusty89 · #1 10-22-2011, 12:19 AM

What's the best way to ask a girl out when you think she likes you. I've succeeded, but have also struck out. What signs should make you confident that she must like you.

I turn to you. With all the testosterone in this forum some good advice for a young guy (like me) must be out there.

Demon_Hunter · #2 10-22-2011, 12:32 AM

Just ask her. If you don't, you'll end up growing up old and lonely and then you'll be like a 50 year old man living in your mom's basement with 3 cats, 4 dogs and a ferret.

Lonesomedave · #3 10-22-2011, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demon_Hunter

Just ask her. If you don't, you'll end up growing up old and lonely and then you'll be like a 50 year old man living in your mom's basement with 3 cats, 4 dogs and a ferret.

+1 to that

be like my friend toby... s**t, he didn't care if he struck out 50 time a day, all it took was one success and he was off. i used to just marvel at him, but came to realize it was actually a good technique... all she can say is "no" and she might say yes... go for it.

ps- edit- and if she does say no, you end your time wasting and can move on to more profitable endeavors.

**SamanthaCay** · #4 10-22-2011, 01:48 AM

As a woman (this doesn't go for all women but may be a valid stereotype)
I find it to be quite the turn off when guys or other girls are too bashful and shy with their feelings.
So maybe being a little assertive isn't such a bad thing.

Dusty89 · #5 10-22-2011, 01:53 AM

Thanks for the advice, I'll definitely take it to heart. It only makes complete sense (the more times you ask = more times you strike out) however (the more times you ask = the better chances you will succeed.)

Still, I'm looking for specific signs, that a girl might be attracted to me. In some situations, I have to meet with a women on a consistent basis (like I do in college). Not just in passing, but for an actual class. If I strike out, things will be extremely awkward for the rest of the semester.

Still, I understand that asking her out is of paramount importance, but how can I feel more confident (she likes me) based on the way she acts around me. (Perhaps subtle clues).

I would love to hear advice from others.

Lonesomedave · #6 10-22-2011, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusty89

Thanks for the advice, I'll definitely take it to heart. It only makes complete sense (the more times you ask = more times you strike out) however (the more times you ask = the better chances you will succeed.)

Still, I'm looking for specific signs, that a girl might be attracted to me. In some situations, I have to meet with a women on a consistent basis (like I do in college). Not just in passing, but for an actual class. If I strike out, things will be extremely awkward for the rest of the semester.

Still, I understand that asking her out is of paramount importance, but how can I feel more confident (she likes me) based on the way she acts around me. (Perhaps subtle clues).

I would love to hear advice from seasoned veterans.

don't know about "seasoned veteran" but i'm 56 years old and have my share of successes as well as failures...

as far as being awkward... less so than you think and more so for her than you... if you strike out, just be friendly to her in class and go on with class business... no harm, no foul.

**SamanthaCay** · #7 10-22-2011, 02:14 AM

Sings that she likes you?
Here's a sing, if you ask her out and she says yes then that's the first sing that she likes you on that level.
There are very rarely any other sings before that.

Types of sings:

sexual / dating
Our thought; Gosh he is kind of cute isn't he
What we say; Ok sure Friday night will totally work

friendship / no sex
Our thought; gee what a nice guy I wish he would ask me out, maybe he's gay???
What we say; (insert any non sexual conversation here)

You have to understand that most of us are not thinking about sex 24/7
and if you don't bring it up it will never happen.

tastybasslines · #8 10-22-2011, 02:16 AM

"hi" it usually works wonders...no crap.

i_got_a_mohawk · #9 10-22-2011, 06:51 AM

Talk to her, ask her what her plans are at the weekend, try and get some time alone and see what happens. It should be fairly obvious if you are in luck.

However, I did spend most of my teen years being oblivious, and getting asked, years down the line, why I hadn't made a move *d'oh*!

Also, eye contact and a smile can do a lot for you, if you can differentiate between the types of counter smile (getting the finger or asked "wt* are you looking at" are also obvious answers

)

Relic · #10 10-22-2011, 06:57 AM

Just do it

fhm555 · #11 10-22-2011, 10:04 AM

I was always bigger (taller, more physically developed), and younger than my peers in school and felt like a freak because of it, which made me painfully shy.

Years later, several women who I'd been in school with told me a lot of the girls thought I was hot, but also thought that because I refused to have anything to do with any of them, I was stuck up. I always thought "who would want to have anything to do with a freak like me."

Misconceptions abound without communication.

Asking someone out is not tantamount to an insult if they refuse so be polite when you ask and gracious with whatever their reply is and there should not be any further awkwardness if they happen to turn you down.

If nothing else you can remain friends. It's not always what you want, but it is what it is, and how you handle that aspect will determine how it plays out down the line.

Oh and just because she says no the first time, if you don't act goofy after, there's a good chance she will change her mind later. Just be sure to let her make that move.

Lonesomedave · #12 10-22-2011, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhm555

....Oh and just because she says no the first time, if you don't act goofy after, there's a good chance she will change her mind later. Just be sure to let her make that move.

+1 to that!

my motto always was... you might have to tell me twice, but you won't have to tell me 3 times.

pie_man_25 · #13 10-22-2011, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buchananbass

You have to understand that most of us are not thinking about sex 24/7
and if you don't bring it up it will never happen.

you mean there are people who DON'T think about sex 24/7?

weird.

Papa Dangerous · #14 10-22-2011, 10:18 AM

You: "Hey, wanna get some ice cream and ****?"
Her: "NO!"
You: "Oh... You don't like ice cream?"

She has to be yours after that. There is no other alternative.

Papa Dangerous · #15 10-22-2011, 10:21 AM

Oh... and this works too...! Apparently...

Say Anything (1989) - YouTube

i_got_a_mohawk · #16 10-22-2011, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pie_man_25

you mean there are people who DON'T think about sex 24/7?

weird.

Aye, they are called women. Why do you think they are always so keen on marriage

Another winning line:

Here, love, fancy going halfers on a b*****d?

LiquidMidnight · #17 10-22-2011, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhm555

Years later, several women who I'd been in school with told me a lot of the girls thought I was hot, but also thought that because I refused to have anything to do with any of them, I was stuck up. I always thought "who would want to have anything to do with a freak like me."

I experienced something similar after I graduated high school. It came out that all of these girls - many of them underclassmen - had a crush on me. I was very shy and insecure as a teenager and in my early 20s. Now, I'm very confident and assertive. It does get easier when you get older - at least it did for me. In my experience, succeeding in other aspects of your life transfers over to the dating facet. The only problem is that as you get older, the dating market becomes smaller as many people are paired off in marriage or long-term relationships.

To the OP - one sign that the girl is interested is if she touches you. This is usally something as simple as putting her hand on your arm. Or if you're sitting next to each other and your legs brush up against each other, she won't move so that you aren't touching. Due to the social folkways of being in a classroom, none of this may happen, however. Also, if a girl seems to go out of her way to talk to you, whether in person or even on something like Facebook, that's a good indicator.

But none of this may be very obvious and it may come down to you just taking a chance. My biggest piece of advice in this regard is to not make a big deal about it. I assume you have a cell phone. Ask her for her number. Type in a cute name for her in your phone. Hand it to her nonchalantly and ask her to put in her digits. Text her a while after and proceed from there.

The main thing is girls - and women - want someone whom they can feel comfortable around while still seeing them in a romantic light. That's why not making a big deal about getting her number is so important. You don't want to be creepy or needy. Your confident. Asking for a cute girl's number ain't no thing to you, right?

JimB52 · #18 10-22-2011, 12:46 PM

Eye contact and smiles are good clues.

Yes

Maybe

No

Hell No

guitar ed · #19 10-22-2011, 09:07 PM

Be polite, maybe a bit goofy, and ask. You would be amazed what you can get away with.

edg

bassist11 · #20 10-22-2011, 11:35 PM

I actually was just asking myself this same question not long ago too. My situation was a little weird because she had more or less turned me down earlier this year. We stayed friends, I bide my time, and now apparently she's had a change of heart..

But seeing as that was the case, I had to be pretty sure that she was actually into me this time so as to not risk getting shot down twice. So I'll answer your questions from observations of my own.

If the girl in question does any combination of the following, I would say she's into you..
- text/calls you on her own accord to tell you something (more than a one time thing though)
- finds time to hang out with you (cause girls always have other girl friends they could be spending time with)
- the touch thing was already mentioned but that really is a huge clue (find an excuse to brush up against her or pull a hair off her shoulder or something and see how she reacts)
- she laughs at silly jokes

Just a few things I noticed that helped me out..