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  #1  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:24 AM
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That...disturbed me.

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So this morning, I wake up, go on TB for a bit, then go to the kitchen to get something to munch on for a little bit. What do I find? A harmless granola bar box. So I fish one out of the box, and come back to browse (troll) TB some more.

Without looking, I unwrap the treat and take a bite. All goes well, and all goes down well. Another bite, and all is well. Third bite I need to squeeze it out of the wrapper, so I do and take a bite. A couple crumbs fall on my shirt. I go to brush them off, as usual, and then they start moving.

I look at the granola bar in horror, and notice that some of the "granola" is also moving. Not just the little black beetles, long worm/centipede type things and other fun little creatures as well. Wonderful, so here I am, staring at my insect infested granola bar. My half eaten granola bar.

It's not the idea that bothers me, so much, as the image of it actually happening. It wasn't really that fun. I'm gonna stick to being spoon-fed blubber from now on.

And I wondered why it tasted a bit "stale". Go figure.

Come to think of it, how'd they get sealed into the wrapping to begin with? Someone over in China probably got executed for this...

Oh well.

It's a pleasant way to start your day.
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Give a man a mirror, and it will warm him once. Teach a man to chop down his own mirrors, and they'll warm him twice.

Last edited by CanadaMan : 06-29-2008 at 08:38 AM.
  #2  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:29 AM
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that video LIES
 
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Why so disturbing? Are you a vegetarian?
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  #3  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:31 AM
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No, in fact, I take heart in devouring dead animals.

However, these were neither dead nor did they belong in my granola bar.

******* bugs.
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Give a man a mirror, and it will warm him once. Teach a man to chop down his own mirrors, and they'll warm him twice.
  #4  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:41 AM
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Bugs should get out of granola bars and go back to Microsoft products where they belong.
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  #5  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:42 AM
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yeah, that's definately not the way to start a day. my condolences for your bug-infested beginning.
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I would have listened to the first couple of bars and then headed straight for the nearest one.
  #6  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:46 AM
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Thank you sir. Just found another one crawling to victory. Buggers.
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Give a man a mirror, and it will warm him once. Teach a man to chop down his own mirrors, and they'll warm him twice.
  #7  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:49 AM
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Deep fried grasshoppers and mealworms taste like prawns and chicken respectively. Just my 2 cents' worth.
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WIN.
  #8  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:51 AM
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wow i can no longer eat my froot loops
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  #9  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:53 AM
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that video LIES
 
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prizefighter, are yours moving, too? Guys, c'mon- just cook the little buggers & munch on.
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  #10  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:56 AM
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Well, I figured I'd make some eggs and bacon and move on---

Wait a minute, how the hell do you cook a granola bar?

That removes the convenience. Shame on you, bassteban. Shame.
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Give a man a mirror, and it will warm him once. Teach a man to chop down his own mirrors, and they'll warm him twice.
  #11  
Old 06-29-2008, 08:58 AM
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that video LIES
 
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Shame on you, bassteban. Shame.
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  #12  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:06 AM
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Sadly, I'm still hungry. Perhaps I'll make toast. Toast is safeish.
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  #13  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:09 AM
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that video LIES
 
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Sure it is

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadaMan View Post
Toast is safeish.
You just keep thinking that...
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  #14  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:11 AM
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You, sir, are an *******.



Atta boy
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Give a man a mirror, and it will warm him once. Teach a man to chop down his own mirrors, and they'll warm him twice.
  #15  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:14 AM
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C'mon mate, we have witchetty grubs for breakfast here.











Here's a recipe:
* The reason this recipe is for only one serving is that it is almost impossible to find anyone else to eat them with you.
* First catch your witchetty grubs.
* 1. Raw: Hold the live grub by the head, lower into the mouth, bite off at the neck and start chewing. Tastes like cream.
* 2. Cooked: Throw them into the coals of the campfire and lightly roast till the skin is crisp like a sausage skin. Tastes like sweet scrambled eggs.
* Tip:
If eating them raw, it's important to start chewing straight away because it can be a bit disconcerting to have the grub wriggling inside your mouth for any length of time.
And another recipe for witchetty soup.

Last edited by RiseOfTheWooten : 06-29-2008 at 09:17 AM.
  #16  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:15 AM
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Yeah, but you people are weird. And your women are also hot. Well, some of them.

And I'm down for eating bugs, but warn me first. And don't be in my granola bar. Damn.
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Originally Posted by SuperDuck View Post
Give a man a mirror, and it will warm him once. Teach a man to chop down his own mirrors, and they'll warm him twice.

Last edited by CanadaMan : 06-29-2008 at 09:17 AM.
  #17  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:17 AM
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If that was me I would have been cleaning vomit from my keyboard, mouse, and monitor. Unless I can get that image out of my mind, I still might have to do that.

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  #18  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiseOfTheWooten View Post
.
.
.
* Tip:
If eating them raw, it's important to start chewing straight away because it can be a bit disconcerting to have the grub wriggling inside your mouth for any length of time.
That's both sig worthy and puke worthy.
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  #19  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:21 AM
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That's both sig worthy and puke worthy.
Wow.. two sig-worthy posts in one day. I must be on a roll.
  #20  
Old 06-29-2008, 09:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dave64o View Post
That's both sig worthy and puke worthy.
THAT^is sig-worthy, right there...
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