Disturbing image I just can't shake

[Stinsok]

Last week, I was in the restroom at work. I am exiting the stall when I see a co-worker standing there, eating a biscuit. He greets me with a " 'sup?" I'm thinking "yuck!" How can you eat in this nasty place?

[FL Knifemaker]

When I worked in manufacturing I saw lots of nasty eathing routines. Nothing like seeing someone eating a sandwich with white bread that their dirty, greasy hands have left dirty greasy finger prints on

Or.......someone eating with a cheek full of leaf chew.

[MakiSupaStar]

Whew. I thought you were going to quote the post where fassa said she was running through thread wearing only her bass.

[Mark Latimour]

Meh...I think its just social conditioning (thinking a toilet is unsanitary vs fassa naked, which clearly is shocking).

[RWP]

Yeah well.......

[EricF]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Whew. I thought you were going to quote the post where fassa said she was running through thread wearing only her bass.

You really didn't have to remind us of that. Really.

[TheDarkReaver]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Whew. I thought you were going to quote the post where fassa said she was running through thread wearing only her bass.

[Surly]

I can't stand to do anything in a public bathroom, like say brushing my teeth, when someone's 10 feet away dropping a deuce.

[DrSmaggs]

A Men's Room Guide.... pulled from Normsbitchfest.com

Let's take a minute to go over some basic urinal etiquette, since the vast majority of people seem to have no clue.

- We are not holding a "stream-off" competition: Aim for the back of the urinal wall, in such a way to limit splatter, and quietly relieve yourself. Don't aim dead-center at the little pool of water at the bottom and try to impress us with the power of your stream. All that means is that you waited way too long to visit the restroom, and you will probably die of kidney failure at some point in the near future.

- This isn't social time: I don't want to hear about your daughters dance recital while you are trying to drill a hole through the center of the urinal cake with your stream. If you want to "catch-up", pick up the phone and give me a call sometime, you ****tard. There is no such thing as "awkward silence" when you have your junk out next to another dude.

- Splatter is bad: Keep your urine within the confines of the urinal. Don't spray your **** this way and that, to and fro. If you walk away from the urinal look down: If you see over-spray on the tips of your shoes you are a tool.

- The art of the "shake": When you shake, I shouldn't see urine fly up the wall and stick to the roof. And from my peripheral vision it shouldn't look like you are jerking off either. Subtlety is key here. Don't exaggerate the shake in an effort to fool people as to the size of your manhood. We all know this trick, and it's a dead giveaway that you are packing a vienna sausage.

- The urinal is not a stall: Don't walk up to the urinal and rip a giant fart, then turn to me and make a joke about it. If you have to take a ****, that is what the stalls are for. Even then, flush the damn toilet if you are going to evacuate your bowels, you douche.

- No Eye contact: Keep your eyes on the prize. Don't glance in my direction expecting me to lock eyes and smile back at you. I'm not being rude by ignoring your advances! If we happen to meet up at the sink to wash our hands, then, and only then, will I briefly acknowledge that you exist. This should go without saying, but looking down at my tackle doesn't fly either.

- Hands Free Maneuvers: At no point should your arms be dangling alongside your body with your schlong un-tethered. Leave the circus act at home, or take your little show on the road. Standing like "Superman" is not allowed either. When you stand with your hands on your hips that way it looks like you are being serviced by some magical urinal nymph.

- Mobile Devices: Now is not the time to answer your cell phone, or send a text with your Blackberry. You can wait a few more minutes to switch tracks to the new Bon Jovi tune, trust me. Keeping your mobile devices in your pocket not only reduces the chances of feces contamination by 1000%, but it also reduces the chances of getting yourself punched in the face by 10%.

- Hand Washing: This isn't a bathroom "option". This is mandatory. No matter how big of a hurry you are in... Why? Because if you don't do it, it will get around the office that you don't wash your hands. Is that what you want people to think about every time they see you? The fact that you dropped a deuce last week and didn't use soap afterward?

- No Food Allowed: Leave your drinks and snacks outside. Do not chew gum while in the restroom either, that is disgusting. It's like every chomp on that gum is trapping anal particulates from the air and infusing them into the gum. Suddenly it's no longer "Bubbalicious", it's "Crapalicious".

- Short Urinal: Don't use the short urinal if you are 6'5", unless the others are all taken. It's not fair to your asian co-workers to have to stand on their tip-toes, with their nuts resting on the porcelain, just to take a piss.

[bigblondeafro87]

^^^ That doesn't say anything about the 'buffer urinal'

[Joe Nerve]

People do worse stuff than that in bathrooms.

[hover]

aaaaaannnndddd......we're back to blumpkins.

[Philbiker]

Originally Posted by TheDarkReaver

This is what we call "talking to Ralph on the big white telephone".

TO the OP: Where do you brush your teeth? In the kitchen or the bathroom?

[Nino Valenti]

Holy Canoli.... DrSmaggs, that was hilarious!!!!

[A-Step-Towards]

Work fast food and see people spit directly into other peoples food and boss not care, i saw this for a year at del taco when i was in high school , that place has to be the most fast food restuarant ever. To this day i cannot eat fastfood , i just imagine the employees shooting a snot rocket in a burrito and the boss laughing his ass off, god so many stories i can tell. I tried to call corporate and get them shut down , no deal.

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by bigblondeafro87

^^^ That doesn't say anything about the 'buffer urinal'

This is covered in the Man Laws.

[Eric Perry]

Originally Posted by hover

aaaaaannnndddd......we're back to blumpkins.

Sigged!

[Gopherbassist]

I thought you were going to post the infected hairplugs guy or something.

[Happynoj]

I don't get it. I mean, as long as he didn't rub the biscuit around the inside of the rim before he ate it then isn't going to be dirty. What's the issue?

[Pilgrim]

I just love the dudes who come out of the dumper stall and head out to lunch without washing their hands. One of the most gross things I've seen.

Amounts to a **** sandwich for lunch.