Divorce semantics

brothernewt · #1 10-30-2011, 02:41 PM

My wife moved out 16 months ago. A divorce was filed 15 months ago. We went to court 4 months ago, and the Judge ordered the divorce (unsure of correct phrasing). Her lawyer wrote the settlement up incorrectly, and it’s been sent back to them for correction along with a recording of the litigation. For unknown reasons, they’re sitting on it, and it’s not been signed. They haven’t answered my lawyer in weeks.

My question is in regard to new relationships, am I divorced?

Ziltoid · #2 10-30-2011, 02:44 PM

You could say: I used to be married but I didn't get the bill yet

elgecko · #3 10-30-2011, 02:49 PM

You are "going through a divorce".

sandmangeck · #4 10-30-2011, 03:01 PM

Technically seperated. Go harvest some tang' mang'

XtreO · #5 10-30-2011, 03:05 PM

The question, in Norwegian law, would be what "ordered the divorce" means. Assuming "ordered the divorce" means "has made a positive statement regarding the legality of the breakup", you'd be divorced. This also assumes a 12 month formalised separation. Over here, divorce and settlement are separate. You can claim your right to settlement when you're separated or divorced by law, meaning the actual divorce can happen before the settlement.

Staredge · #6 10-30-2011, 03:22 PM

Wouldn't your lawyer be a better person to ask? Her lawyer typed up the settlement wrong when? If it was what was agreed to in court, and the judge issued the final decree on it youre divorced and stuck with the settlement as is.

brothernewt · #7 10-30-2011, 03:32 PM

I was looking for thoughts on the interpersonal aspects rather than legal, or of course I would have asked the lawyer. And yes, her lawyer wrote it up with assets awarded to me as though they were awarded to her (my truck for instance). The judge hasn't "stamped" that, it's what is being corrected (or just sat on, whatever).

sandmangeck · #8 10-30-2011, 03:34 PM

GO OUT AND GET IT SON!

just don't post on fb about it!

Staredge · #9 10-30-2011, 03:35 PM

Oh.....that's different. I was "divorced" a full year before I went to court. Had a steady girlfriend and all. What do you feel you are???

**pacojas** · #10 10-30-2011, 03:43 PM

a divorce is never really finalized until someone dies.

brothernewt · #11 10-30-2011, 03:50 PM

I feel I'm divorced I guess... I've sooo moved on and am over it. But then I feel like I never really understood "marriage" to begin with, other than the legallities. At least not the way other people seem to view it. So I have a little trouble grasping what divorce means in that respect to other people... which is why I'm asking a bunch of people online that I don't know.

RosieB · #12 10-30-2011, 04:29 PM

You sound divorced to me. Unless you yourself feel the need for the error in the paperwork to be corrected and signed off on before proceeding with a relationship.

I think a lot of people would see it this way. Though there are those who are very legalistic and want everything signed and legal before getting involved. So, I guess it would also depend on the point of view of the other person in the relationship.

Jim Nazium · #13 10-30-2011, 04:46 PM

IMHO, yes, you are divorced for relationship purposes. Your ex-wife has moved out, you have both agreed the marriage is over, and you have negotiated a settlement. You aren't considering getting back together (right?)

If I was in your situation and someone asked "Are you married?" I would probably say "I'm finalizing a divorce right now", but it wouldn't feel dishonest to me to say "I'm divorced" or even "I'm single" when first meeting someone. You can explain the details later when you have more time.

My $.02

runmikeyrun · #14 10-30-2011, 05:09 PM

I moved out in Sept 09, filed for divorce in June 10. Divorce still isn't over, but I have considered myself single and dating since April 10. Just be honest and say that the divorce is still being finalized but as far as you're concerned your marriage is ancient history. Most women will understand.

RosieB · #15 10-30-2011, 05:45 PM

Does it usually take that long to get divorced? (please say no, please say no, ...)

Staredge · #16 10-30-2011, 07:11 PM

Depends on where you are. I was in WV, so it didn't take long. Claim irreconcilable differences and work the details out and it's a quick process. Had I been in MD, we'd have had to have a mandatory one year separation.

tekdiver500ft · #17 10-30-2011, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RosieB

Does it usually take that long to get divorced? (please say no, please say no, ...)

Yes. In most States in the US (all of them AFAIK), you are required to be "separated" for 12 months before the divorce can be "finalized." You are not divorced until the judge stamps and signs the order. The trial typically lasts a few hours of court time (if you have assets, and can't come to an amicable agreement), but those hours may (generally will) be spread out over the course of weeks, even months. All of my divorces have taken about 16 months from the time my wife leaves me until everything is finalized.

RosieB · #18 10-30-2011, 07:56 PM

I'm in Ohio. Lawyer didn't mention the separation part, but he's really not giving me much info on how this all actually works. I was going to go in and sign the paperwork and pay him this week, but I have no money with which to move and I don't think I can live here another year after I actually get this started. How do people make this happen?!!!

My first one was mutual, we owned absolutely nothing, and we did the dissolution ourselves but had to hire a lawyer at the end to file for us because I filed 3 days after the law changed and some of our paperwork was no longer valid. So I have no idea how this all works for real. Didn't expect that it would take so long.

I feel like I should sign this "Trapped, in Ohio". Or perhaps "Thread Derailer, in Ohio". Sorry about that. Your time-line was a surprise and got me worried. Justifiably, I see.

Jim Nazium · #19 10-31-2011, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Staredge

Depends on where you are. I was in WV...

If you get divorced in WV, are you still legally cousins?

bassface73 · #20 10-31-2011, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tekdiver500ft

Yes. In most States in the US (all of them AFAIK), you are required to be "separated" for 12 months before the divorce can be "finalized." You are not divorced until the judge stamps and signs the order. The trial typically lasts a few hours of court time (if you have assets, and can't come to an amicable agreement), but those hours may (generally will) be spread out over the course of weeks, even months. All of my divorces have taken about 16 months from the time my wife leaves me until everything is finalized.

In Florida, I do not think this is the case. My wife moved out September of 2010 and my divorce was finalized in May 2011. Definitely no 12 month waiting period and no legal separation in Florida.