do your parents dislike your spouse of boyfriend/girlfriend

[Lowner]

My parents hate my fiancee. I met him through mutual friends and had a long distance relationship as he lived in Houston, Tx. He moved here in February of last year.( i have moved back in with my folks after leaving and an abusive relationship.)

When my fiancee moved here my parents allowed him to stay with us in their place un til he and I got . They got into a few arguments and now they cant stand him.
He is unwelcome at their house.


Do any of you have parents that dislike your spouse.bf.gf?

[runmikeyrun]

My parents hated my exwife almost from the start. 12 years later I am about finished divorcing her... there were LOTS of issues over the years, but we didn't realize for many years my ex was a pathological liar and a sociopath. I'm sure that's not the issue with your fiancee, but as far as how to handle it, hmm... it's really hard. Family gatherings were almost intolerable and there were always fights before and after. Holidays sucked too. Maybe a sitdown to sort out the issues or some time with a therapist can help sort it out? What were the arguments about?

[Turock]

My parents always liked the spouse of my girlfriend.

[geeza]

My parents like my wife more than they like me.

[spade2you]

Devil's advocate: is there a legitimate reason they don't like them???

[Tat2dHeart]

I'm the parent of grown children. Through the years, there have been girlfriends/boyfriends I didn't like and those I did very much. I learned early on that trying to influence their dating choices with my opinion meant that the date I least liked would be the ONLY desirable date very quickly.

When things started to get serious, someone would always ask, "What do you think of my boyfriend/girlfriend?" My answer is always, "What do YOU think of him/her? I'm not the one dating them, and I won't be the one living with them if you get serious."

With the girls, the ones I didn't like were weeded out pretty quickly. Two of the three girls are married to guys that I like and respect. The third elected to finish nursing school first before dating anyone seriously.

My son was a different story. Until Monday, he had dated and lived with a girl off and on for seven years that I tolerated, but didn't really trust enough to like or respect. That's the night she told him that I was unnecessarily cruel and hurtful and she hated being here. He told her, "Okay, so if you hate it here, then leave. No one's holding you hostage." The next afternoon, she was fully packed and on the road for her mother's house in Illinois.

We'll see where he goes from here, but I kind of hope he dates on the Maki plan for a couple of years to figure out who he is on his own.



EDIT: In case anyone is wondering - the "unnecessarily cruel and hurtful" comment was directed at the fact that my son and I were joking about why he wouldn't eat sloppy joe's without hamburger buns. His opinion - "but you NEED buns because bread just won't do." My counter - "What do you think buns are made of?" She wasn't even in the room. I wasn't talking to her. I was laughing when I said that and so was he. I can only surmise that either the bread that was present or the non-existent buns complained to her about my characterization and she was defending their honor.

[spade2you]

Originally Posted by Tat2dHeart

My answer is always, "What do YOU think of him/her? I'm not the one dating them, and I won't be the one living with them if you get serious."

Hopefully not.

[Tat2dHeart]

Originally Posted by spade2you

Hopefully not.

DEFINITELY not. They all have strict instructions that I am DNR in the event of a life emergency. I don't want to be a burden on my children.

I have not, however, given them a clue of what they may inherit if I die. I'm afraid they'd think I'm worth more dead than alive. LOL.

[GeneralElectric]

My parents have never really liked anyone who've I've dated.

The kicker though is that my best friend, who is a woman, is also friends with my mother. She disapproves of everyone I date, or sleep with. I asked her why recently, and she told me that "I'm waiting til someone good enough comes along for you."

[Lowner]

Originally Posted by spade2you

Devil's advocate: is there a legitimate reason they don't like them???

My parents are very self centered. They wanted me to date men with good jobs, so I could like in an expensive house, drive a nice car and so the people in our town wouldn't be embarassed of me or my parents.
He works in a factory and makes decent money. So that is strike one. Strike two is that he has a medical condition so we can't have children.So my parents are upset that they will never have biological grandchildren that are both mine and his. they wont accept children with a donor or adopted children. That is strike two.

Strike three was when my parents began telling him that he was a loser because he work in a factory, and they told him how to cut his hair and dress.(He keeps his hair close, kinda like a marine, and he dresses nice.)but for some reason its not the right way to dress according to them.

He told my parents off and they have hated him since.

My parents also expect me to make choices in my life that make them happy. if i dont I have hell to pay. My fiancee is a great guy. He treats me well, respects me, and is my best friend. its the first time i have ever been treated this good and get along with another guy this good.

[Joe Gress]

My parents liked my ex a lot, and her parents liked me a lot as well. Makes for kinda awkward situations here and there, but I guess its alright. I am still living with her aunt since rent is dirt cheap, its close to the college, and I really can't afford anything else.

But it is nice to know I can drop by at anytime, vent, get dinner, have a beer with her dad, and not have to talk to her at all since she doesn't live there. I miss her dog more than I really miss her...

[XtreO]

Originally Posted by Turock

My parents always liked the spouse of my girlfriend.

Same. Perhaps he sometimes made them pissed, but generally well loved by them.

[LiquidMidnight]

My parents loved my last ex-girlfriend. My mother only met her once before my mother died, but she really liked her from that one meeting. My father hasn't met my new girlfriend yet, but I know he'll like her. As long as I don't bring home a slut or a doosh, Dad's pretty easy to please.

I never realized it until after she passed away, but my mother was very protective of me when it came to women. I had a few girlfriends when I was younger whom my parents tolerated; looking back, they were right, because those girls were bad news. Like General Electric, I had the female platonic best friend who didn't think anyone I dated was good enough for me. *lol*

But sometimes, parents just think that nobody is good enough for their precious little prince or princess. That sounds like Lowner's situation. I dated this girl back in high school who had snobby parents. They looked down on me because I grew up in a single-wide mobile home and played rock 'n roll. I've been pretty successful throughout my 20s. I have a Master's and I'm currently halfway through a doctoral program; I was being considered as a speaker to deliver a speech at commencement at my old high school last year. The girl from high school has like 12,042 kids, is overweight, flunked out of college, and has a spouse with questionable fidelity. Now, I'm not saying that I'm "better" than her, but I do know her mother is eating crow considering how I turned out pretty successful in contrast to what she thought I was in high school, and her daughter isn't exactly living the fairytale life that she thought her princess deserved.

...on that note, her mom was kinda hot.

[Actium]

Eh, my mom despises my current gf. Dad is indifferent. Mom is very close minded and judgmental anyways and has a hard time seeing past peoples outward appearances. (gf dresses very alternatively, not a lot of piercings but visible tats, one on her head too under her hair line) It sucks because I know if she could get over the way my gf looks they would get along great. And it's weird because they obviously have accepted that I don't dress hipster or like your typical boring/corny white guy either.

I was sent a text earlier this week that she isn't welcome to our thanksgiving dinner. And if I was planing to stay in town over Christmas we couldn't stay at their house.

Normally I don't see my parents that often enough to introduce them to my gfs. So the last ones they met were ones I had in college like 5 years ago who were pretty stereotypical corny preppy, borderline hippie white girls.

[sandmangeck]

Paging Munji Paging Munji! Lowner posted twice in the same thread, within 2 hours!

[MJ5150]

No. My parents like my wife.

-Mike

[L-A]

My mama loves my girlfriend.

[Jay Ralston]

With my Dad, he has liked all of my girlfriends and he loves my spouse. But that is his personality. He naturally likes everyone. Even people that are jerks and are rude, he will try and find something nice about them and concentrate on that.

With my Mom, I am an only child and she on the other hand has always been cordial to my girlfriends but when we have our private conversations together she did have a tendency to point out their flaws. I think that to her, no woman will ever be good enough for me. I know she was kind of outspoken against my wife when she first met her but she also had good reason as my wife and I met online 11 1/2 years ago and my wife was a single Mom with 2 kids at the time. While my wife and I never intended on dating or having a relationship like that, one thing led to another. When she then moved out to California where I was living at the time, I kind of sprang her on that family at that point and everyone freaked out. So with my wife I can't really fault my Mom because even my best friends were freaking out too but now that we have been together for over a decade, everything is cool and my Mom also loves my spouse and sees that her son actually did know what he was doing.

[Southpaw5]

My Parents love my wife, but that was not always the case. There was a period of time before they accepted her fully, but it was never that bad. Her parents on the other hand hated me for a good decade. That only changed when I started my career as a business jerk. Kinda lame, but they kinda suck as parents so I don't care, their opinions are very close minded and they were never supportive of her which continues to this day.

On the plus side, my Mom is trying to fill that void. She treats her like the long lost daughter she never had. My wife is still getting used to it since she isn't used to having a parent actually care but the transition is making her happier.

[Joe Nerve]

I believe that more often than not, when parents hate a boy/girlfriend, it's for good cause. Not always the case, but usually IME. They often see things the people in love are too blind to (or don't want to) see.