Does Your Other Half Understand/Approve?

[Tituscrow]

My wife is normally fine about me jamming with the boys and gigging. She has no real interest in music anyway and let's me do my thing and I reciprocate when she does hers (she's into all that horse riding nonsense). However, big gig coming up and I mentioned that we needed to practice twice a week instead of once, just to fine tune some of the details....well she shot me a look that was priceless, as if to say "you've been out once this week, what about some us-time". Of course I was tactful and diplomatic and promised to make it up to her.

Just wondering what your partners do, and do they just let you do your thing because she/he 'gets it', or do you ever find yourself vainly trying to explain why you need to jam with the band?

Also, I once had a girlfriend that came to gigs but more to make sure I wasn't up to no good with groupies. Chance would be a fine thing!

Interested to hear others experiences...

[MJ5150]

When I played, my wife had no problems with it. She would come with me to practice and gigs. The only time she ever got sideways about it was when I would get out of balance with practicing at home, which was not often.

-Mike

[jonathan_matos5]

dating someone musically inclined helps. she flat out said she would go crazy if she didn't have a musical outlet.

it is stress relief.

i say she gets it!

[fenderhutz]

We do covers. We don't even rehearse anymore. We text a song that we want to learn and then just show up and play it.

It's nice to be able to work with good musicians.

[Floyd Eye]

When I met my first wife I was in a gigging band. After we had been together for about 6 months, she started gradually making it very difficult for me to continue playing bars and rehearsing all the time ( I know, this should have been my clue). I was with her for 13 years, at least 11 of which was spent not playing in a band anymore.

Fast forward to about a year after I found out she was a whore. I met my current wife of 10 years. After about a year I came home one day and there was a giant bass rig in my living room. She told me to go get myself a band. Which I did. I love her a lot.

[powderfinger]

My ex of 2 years was totally cool with me playing/gigging/touring.

In fact she never even came to my shows, even when I told her how much it would mean if she came. She had no interest whatsoever in my musical outings. None. She never asked about it. Even if I tried to talk to her about my music, she didnt care.

Its better we are apart now. I might have a lot of problems...

but THAT b***** aint one...

[powderfinger]

Originally Posted by MJ5150

When I played, my wife had no problems with it. She would come with me to practice and gigs.
-Mike

Are you John Lennon?

[Floyd Eye]

Originally Posted by powderfinger

Are you John Lennon?

[Goatee220]

Mine's not a musician, but is cool with it as long as it's not every Friday and Saturday night. My last band played approximately twice a month and rehearsed once a week, so it was fine. Plus, she likes the fact that my hobbies pay for themselves.

[Darth Handsome]

I don't play that game anymore. I learned my lesson. If my wife has a problem with me practicing twice in a week, that's her problem. She'll get over it. I'm respectful to her feelings & accomodate her when it's reasonable, but my days of being controlled are long gone.

[MJ5150]

Originally Posted by powderfinger

Are you John Lennon?

Maybe I am.

-John

[Darth Handsome]

Originally Posted by MJ5150

Maybe I am.

-John

I really like your songs, John.

[Jools4001]

My girlfriend would really give me grief about it because it was an originals band rehearsing 7-11 on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and again from 10am-6pm on Sunday, to the point where she was really, really frosty with me. Fast forward 34 years and the same woman (who has now been my wife for the last 30 of those years) keeps telling me that she loves to here me play and really likes the band I'm in. So, just keep working on it and in 30 something years your girlfriend may come around as well.

[Chebass88]

My wife understands completely. She isn't the biggest fan of the band I'm in now - but only because we aren't as good as we could be (our keys player needs some serious practice), and it is a decent tradeoff with all of the rest of the stuff I do (working full time, grad school, weight training, housework, etc.). In our house, I have commandeered a complete room for basses, "the music room".

She enjoys going to baseball games and watching other sporting events on TV (NCAA basketball, etc.). I could care less about sports, so I don't bother her there. I have my interests, she has hers. Occasionally they overlap, but we also need our own time away from each other.

[Skitch it!]

The long term partners I've been with over the years liked the social aspect of the 'scene', so it wasn't really wasn't questioned that much, they never really felt it was competition for attention. But if your partner isn't of a musical persuasion then I can understand it doesn't mean that much in context of time, something you have to see from both sides I suppose, I'm sure you can smooth it over somehow, use and practice your calming skills of assurance

[MEKer]

Originally Posted by Darth Handsome

I don't play that game anymore. I learned my lesson. If my wife has a problem with me practicing twice in a week, that's her problem. She'll get over it. I'm respectful to her feelings & accomodate her when it's reasonable, but my days of being controlled are long gone.

F'in A RIGHT!!!!!!
Don't dance to any woman's emotional tune or let the "us time" be the excuse-----jeezzus-you already have all the other nights, days and hours for "us time"---that is a guilt-ploy.

[Relic]

My wife's fine with it. Sometimes when I have a lot going on she get's a little flustered but then again she's got her art shows and such as well, so I always have ammunition...errr..I mean common ground to share with her

[rtslinger]

Originally Posted by fenderhutz

We do covers. We don't even rehearse anymore. We text a song that we want to learn and then just show up and play it.

It's nice to be able to work with good musicians.

++++1 we use emails and never see each other till the show also excellent musicians.

[fenderhutz]

Originally Posted by Darth Handsome

I don't play that game anymore. I learned my lesson. If my wife has a problem with me practicing twice in a week, that's her problem. She'll get over it. I'm respectful to her feelings & accomodate her when it's reasonable, but my days of being controlled are long gone.

I have noticed this typically happens when the wife doesn't have a hobby of her own.

[Darth Handsome]

Originally Posted by fenderhutz

I have noticed this typically happens when the wife doesn't have a hobby of her own.

And insecurity issues.