Don't take anything for granted.

Ray Holt · #1 10-07-2008, 09:06 PM

When I was in the 4th grade, I was in my friend's back yard playing catch with 5 or 6 of my friends. We were in two groubs about 30-40 feet away, taking a break. I was facing away from the other group and a kid over there thought it would be funny to throw the tennis ball and hit me in the back. I turned around and the tennis ball hit me in the left eye.

For three months my parents and I thought nothing had happened, I just got a black eye and that was that. Three months later I woke up and could not see out of my left eye. Turns out my retina had been torn open and blood was leaking in my eye.

Long story short they did surgery, put an airbubble in my eye to heal the wound, and even though it healed my eye has never been the same. I do not use my left eye, period. I can still see out of it, but I do not use it. If I have to look at something I turn and use my right eye. Uncorrected I can't really see anything with my left eye.

I have gotten so used to it that I don't even think about it most of my life. The crappy thing is over the year my right eye has gotten terrible because it compensates for the left. With glasses my right eye is ok.

When I was in 4th grade, all I wanted to do was be a fighter pilot. This obviously shot that out of the realm of possibility.

I'm now a 21 year old man and I've done a lot. I recently decided I wanted to be a paid firefighter. I've been a volunteer firefighter for 4 years now. They told me that uncorrected my vision could not be worse than 20/100. I'm pretty sure my vision isn't even 20/400 in my left eye. Like I said in my adult life I hardly ever think about my eye situation. So when I decided to be a firefighter I didn't even really think of it being a big obstacle. Turns out it will be the ONLY thing that keeps me from being a firefighter and helping people the way I want to. I am a very physically fit young man, perfect health other than my god d*mn eyes.

I do not know how to describe to you all how terrible this feeling is. To be perfectly able in every other way... I'm strong, I'm smart, I CARE. And yet just because that day in the 4th grade I just HAPPENED to turn around at that EXACT SECOND and catch a damn tennis ball to my eye, so many possibilities have been cancelled out for me. Just completely off the board. I still have a lot of other possibilities available to me, and I know that I'm not really in that bad of a spot. So don't think I'm a whiner, it just... well it pisses me off more than anything. I don't feel sorry for myself, I am really just angry.

I'm sorry for this big rant. I just had this realization tonight, and it's got me down pretty bad. And I just wanted to say to all of you remember not to take anything for granted.

bigfatbass · #2 10-07-2008, 09:35 PM

I was hit by a car in college. At the time they told me, because of catastrophic damage to my right elbow, (think Joe Montana times three), I would not be able to draw again right handed (I was a graphic design major at Syracuse). Nor probably be able to play the bass at all. 6 years of operations, excruciating therapy, and more operations, I have full use of my hand. And now, almost 20 years later, I play bass for a living. Serious loss of stability/extension, and pretty much constant, albeit manageable pain, but yes, I play bass for a living.

There are so many things you can do that will fulfill your desire to help, and your glass onion will become the non-issue to you it once was, and should be. Don't feel like a whiner mang, everybody needs to tell their story once in a while. That's how/why bars stay in business.

Ray Holt · #3 10-07-2008, 09:45 PM

It pretty much still is a non-issue. Other than the fact that it's preventing me from doing the whole paid firefighter gig. I've already got another plan, one I had come up with along with the firefighter idea. Like I said it just bums me out.

I'm going back to school to be a carpentry/shop teacher. That way I can still build my guitars on the side

JNowiski · #4 10-08-2008, 02:07 AM

eye surgery.

**BullHorn** · #5 10-08-2008, 02:26 AM

Tough ****, man.

I had a similar incident like 8 years old, when i was 11 years old. Some kid randomly through a rock at my face from point blank and hit my eye.

Luckily, it only affected my vision for a week and now it'r back to the way it was, except for some pains i'm having every once in a few months. :/

Ray Holt · #6 10-08-2008, 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JNowiski

eye surgery.

Don't think that's a possibility. I'm not positive, but I think my right eye could be corrected with lasik, but I do not think my left can because the reason my left eye's vision is all funky is the back of it is all bumpy from the scar tissue. My left eye's vision isn't just bad, it's "weird". I've never been able to describe it, but it looks different than my right eye. Like a weird kind of filter is on it or something... a type of tint? Not lighter or darker... just weird.

So I dunno, but I don't think it can be fixed because of the bumpiness in the back.

peterbright · #7 10-08-2008, 08:17 AM

There are exercises you can do to improve your vision. Consult an opthamologist.

Baryonyx · #8 10-08-2008, 08:21 AM

Sorry to hear about that too. I've jsut got a new job that requires you to have an eye test and I passed it with flying colours, marks well above the minimum. I know how gutted I would feel had I gotten this far and then been denied the job because of my eyes. I hope you can find some satuisfaction in life with what you have.