The drunk next door

[knucklehead G]

I need some words of wisdom from those older and more experienced than myself.

I moved into my current apartment complex May of this year, and I work odd hours so I haven't met many people. Its not the greatest complex, its in a shady-ish part of town and they'll take anyone in. Our repair guy is a three-time felon, and thus not allowed to do work unless I'm home by my request.

Our one neighbor we've met, Steve, is this old man one door down. We're in 300sq ft studios so one door down is close, though thick stone walls mean we don't get much noise transferring.

Steve's career seems to be drinking wine and smoking cigarettes on his porch, which is also my porch. Until last week I've never discussed more than the weather with him, because he likes to fix this beady little stare on you and stay silent.

About a week ago, my wife and I are coming home from dinner and Steve starts laughing to himself, and thinking I missed something I asked what was funny, all I got was "Look at you!" and he went back to laughing into his wine glass.

The days since he's chuckled to himself every night, but tonight as I came home from work he yells at me, "Hey ****boy, you ****ing loser from Kansas!"

I asked what I did to piss him off, and he gets up and starts towards me with his arms out going, "What did you do? What did you do to piss me off?"

My wife heard and came outside and he shut up and sat back down and wouldn't say much more, though he told me to come outside without her. I didn't feel like being stabbed tonight, so I skipped out on that offer.


This guy lives alone, is always drunk, and the only sounds that make it through the cinderblock walls are him throwing stuff around his apartment. My apartment staff won't do anything, and while he hasn't done anything police-worthy since this started odd things have been happening, like a few loads of our laundry went missing from the complex laundry room. He's the only one who's always outside, with a clear view of us and the laundry, so I don't know what is going on.



This might not be as coherent as my normal text walls, because I'm mad right now and that doesn't lend itself to eloquence.

Anyways, what would you do? Lease is up in February and we're already headed out of state.

[bolophonic]

Dang. Are you going to be able to fight the dude if things start escalating?

[HaRd]

Originally Posted by knucklehead G

My apartment staff won't do anything, and while he hasn't done anything police-worthy since this started odd things have been happening, like a few loads of our laundry went missing from the complex laundry room.

Harassment and public intoxication seem like both "police-worthy" acts. I'm not trying to sound like a prissy girl but people who honestly get intoxicated in public and start harassing people for no reason deserve an ass kicking 9 times out of 10. If your leaving in February though I'd just try and tough it out as much as it sucks.

[tastybasslines]

Tough. Probably best to keep to yourself and lay low until you are out. Someone like that sounds like he has nothing to lose.

If you want to go the more aggressive route, you could call the apartment authority..311 I think ?, and report what is going on. If they contact the building, you can be sure they will probably do something about him, but you risk retaliation and you are only there for 3 1/2 more months, again, probably best to lay low.

Lastly, make sure you have pepper spray in hand as you leave and enter your apt. He already has been threatening you, and could be very unpredictable.

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by HaRd

Harassment and public intoxication seem like both "police-worthy" acts. I'm not trying to sound like a prissy girl but people who honestly get intoxicated in public and start harassing people for no reason deserve an ass kicking 9 times out of 10. If your leaving in February though I'd just try and tough it out as much as it sucks.

I don't think a porch is considered public property.

[hbarcat]

Not much you can do with someone like that until he does something illegal like stealing or destroying your property or actually harms someone. Assuming your description is accurate, the guy is a seriuos alcoholic and his sense of decency is gone along with his ability to control his own actions even for his own good. Reasoning with such people is completely useless. Calling the police and having him arressted for some small offense like harassment is probably useless because all it will do is give him a reason to hate you and he'll be spending his drunken hours sitting on the porch planning revenge against you and your family.

In some circumstances, a bit of vigilantism might be of use if you can do something to him that will make him afraid of you enough to leave you alone for a few months until you move away. I seriously don't recommend this. If you get caught, then you'll be the one in the pokey. And with brain addled alcoholics, it's a crap shoot whether you scare him bad enough to leave you alone or you antagonize him into doing something really dangerous like setting fire to your house.



There is one thing you must do and that is protect yourself and your family from him if he decides to physically attack you.

1) Talk to a local police officer. Go down to the station and ask if somene is available for a few minutes who can offer advice on how to handle the general situation. Cops are usually very interested in dealing with a situation in this way (by trying to defuse it) before they have to respond to a call of a domestic disturbance and then sort out a fight, transport a drunk to jail and have to write a bunch of reports.

2) Learn the laws of your state regarding self defense. Online search will bring this up right away.

3) If he acts in a way that is aggressive enough to be legally considered an assault (like walking toward you with his arms out and using threatening language) then you have the right to defend yourself by using a reasonable amount of force to subdue him. If this happens, then he goes to jail and the law is on your side (I refer you again to #2). You can then get some kind of legal protection that will keep him from bothering you in any way and if he has any sense at all, he'll just stay out of your way and sulkily ignore you for the next few months until you have a chance to move.

4) The above assumes that you are confident in your ability to subdue him with little difficulty should he assault you. If not, then you need to take other steps to defend yourself and your family should the need suddenly arise. Once again, see #2.



Good luck.

[knucklehead G]

Originally Posted by bolophonic

Dang. Are you going to be able to fight the dude if things start escalating?

Yeah, but for hopefully obvious reasons I'd prefer to avoid this route. Bit nervous about being on the second story with a thin rusty railing separating us from a twelve foot drop, though.

Originally Posted by HaRd

Harassment and public intoxication seem like both "police-worthy" acts. I'm not trying to sound like a prissy girl but people who honestly get intoxicated in public and start harassing people for no reason deserve an ass kicking 9 times out of 10. If your leaving in February though I'd just try and tough it out as much as it sucks.

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

I don't think a porch is considered public property.

I'm looking into it, but I don't think the porch of an apartment complex is considered public. Technically the entire complex is private property, if I remember right.

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

Tough. Probably best to keep to yourself and lay low until you are out. Someone like that sounds like he has nothing to lose.

If you want to go the more aggressive route, you could call the apartment authority..311 I think ?, and report what is going on. If they contact the building, you can be sure they will probably do something about him, but you risk retaliation and you are only there for 3 1/2 more months, again, probably best to lay low.

Lastly, make sure you have pepper spray in hand as you leave and enter your apt. He already has been threatening you, and could be very unpredictable.

I'm noticing a theme here.. So the thoughts at the moment are to try ignoring him even though there's no possible way to avoid walking past him at least twice per day, and do what next time he decides to get in my face? Pepper spray? My wife is at home alone most of the time and we've got a floor to ceiling single pane window going right into our bedroom / living room / kitchen, I don't want him trying to continue this when I'm not around.

[lowfreq33]

Another way to go about it would be to try to make peace with the guy. Bring him a ten dollar bottle of wine, tell him you got it as a gift but you don't drink wine.

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by knucklehead G

My wife is at home alone most of the time and we've got a floor to ceiling single pane window going right into our bedroom / living room / kitchen, I don't want him trying to continue this when I'm not around.

Maybe consider some sort of window lock/security measure for your window in the meanwhile...

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by lowfreq33

Another way to go about it would be to try to make peace with the guy. Bring him a ten dollar bottle of wine, tell him you got it as a gift but you don't drink wine.

Worth a shot! I like this idea, like the saying goes...keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Come up one night to your apt and maybe just tell him it was left over and you didn't use it...maybe he wants it and you go inside?

This could be the best $10 bucks you ever spent.

[DblG]

Originally Posted by lowfreq33

Another way to go about it would be to try to make peace with the guy. Bring him a ten dollar bottle of wine, tell him you got it as a gift but you don't drink wine.

I dunno, if this dude is more than a simple drunk, & has a mental illness (schizophrenia or the like) you ain't changing his mind. This guy don't like the OP just for the sake of not liking him.... Who knows what swirling thru this guys head. It's best to avoid these type of people. Definately talk to the police about this guy for advice. Maybe they are familiar with him?
This sucks for you, I hope you can get out ASAP, you don't know how dangerous this guy can be. Now go find that thread about the best bass for self defense. Lol

[Simo98]

Originally Posted by lowfreq33

Another way to go about it would be to try to make peace with the guy. Bring him a ten dollar bottle of wine, tell him you got it as a gift but you don't drink wine.

That would be my suggestion. He is a drunk with a bee in his bonnet about something, probably the fact that you seem somewhat successful and he probably thinks that you ignore and look down on him or something.

With some people it doesn't take a lot to change someones impression of you, good or bad. The only downside to this approach is that he might decide you are his new best friend, and he'll never shut up.

[doktorfeelgood]

You took the bait that first time you said something to him so I'd suggest from now on to just politely ignore him totally and say absolutely nothing to him unless he wants to be nice. And even then I'd be very wary. The pepper spray thing is a good idea to defend yourself, if you need that stuff, but if you wind up using that it could be war and then you OR your wife would never feel safe until you moved out. Best to just ignore him if you can....and I mean don't even look at him and hopefully he'll just leave you alone.

[HaRd]

It always amazed me how people who have a drinking "issue" always seems to be able to pay bills and such. Do you know if this guy has a job? I'd really not tangle with him and try and lay as low as possible until you're out.

The cheap bottle of wine is a good idea to try and iron things out but you really need to play that card the right way and allow it to not backfire... AKA after hes done with it he harasses you even more lol. You really should feel out if he's actually a bully who's going to get physical or just an obnoxious drunk talker... if he's just talking take the high road and don't risk pepper spraying him in the mouth and getting the authorities involved.

[T-Bird]

Hi.

A few eye-drops in that bottle of wine wouldn't probably hurt any either .




Kidding only of course, leave the spiking/spicing off, the bottle itself to even things out is the best idea IMHO as well.

Regards
Sam

[Strohsx]

Ignore him if he gets violent with you kick his head in and call the police.

[Floyd Eye]

Wait until he is out on the porch, after dark, with NO WITNESSES around and then beat him so badly he wants to move.

[Kawai-chang]

Tase him and then chuck him off the porch. Call the police and say my drunken neighbor just fell off the porch. When he gets back home repeat as necessary.

I know this will/would not happen, but it should. He'll never change, IMHO

[Jonyak]

Move.

[Kwin Smith]

Originally Posted by Kawai-chang

Tase him and then chuck him off the porch. Call the police and say my drunken neighbor just fell off the porch. When he gets back home repeat as necessary.

I know this will/would not happen, but it should. He'll never change, IMHO

This made me snicker a little. It reminds me of a member of my wife's side of the family that would actually get drunk, and fall off the porch. You could count on it every time they came to town.