FedEx just hit on my WIFE!

[6jase5]

I just about fell over laughing. I work from home so I can hear everything at the front door from my office and this guy was really doing his best to be smooth (a good 10 minutes).

"Did you ever model?"
"You should come see my place sometime."

It really was pathetic. The package had my name on it and he even asked if it was for her husband. My wife said yes and that didn't stop him from burying himself.

"How are things in your marriage...your husband is gone a lot isn't he?"
"Where do you like to go to unwind for a drink?"

I waited until the very end and I walked out. He nearly tripped backwards out the door...a quicker pace to his truck. He had to hear us both cracking up.

pathetic pathetic man

[Steve]

LMAO.

That would have been the best youtube vid ever.

[capnsandwich]

And I thought UPS was worse.

[NoTalentHack]

Funny. And he's lucky. I know a lot of guys that would have taken, let's say, a more . . . active approach than you did.

Good on you for your sense of humor and self control.

[Darkstrike]

You should have shouted, "Honey, come on, hurry up, your husband will be back soon!"

[MakiSupaStar]

You should have walked out with a baseball bat.

[knumbskull]

if they run off together, make sure you get a tracking number.






*gets coat*

[chrisisnotevil]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

You should have walked out with a baseball bat.

Or a pickaxe handle. And a massive smile on your face...

[6jase5]

I thought and thought of a good phrase, but he ran before I could say anything!

[J. Crawford]

Originally Posted by knumbskull

if they run off together, make sure you get a tracking number.






*gets coat*

Now that was funny.

[jaywa]

As long as your wife didn't tell him she liked his package.

[L-A]

"Sorry buddy, but as you can see, my wife is busy enough handling this big package of mine."

[dangnewt]

In a perfectly balanced world there would be a TalkDeliveryGuy website and he is posting the same story and getting major grief from the UPS and USPS drivers.

Maybe they even post pictures of the most beaten up packages they deliver. Show Your Basses would be an especially gruesome thread.

[6jase5]

I give the guy only one point of credit, being probably 5'8 or what we lovingly call "a puntable" and hitting on my 6' wife wearing boots, making her about 6'3 today.

He probably wasn't expecting me at 6'5 ish to walk out, and of course he didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition (no one does).

[stratovani]

If that had been my wife he was hitting on , then , like Henny Youngman, I'd tell him "Take my wife—please!".

And he'd definitely say no!

[iamlowsound]

You should have walked out naked and asked is that was the package of giant condoms that you ordered.

lowsound

[CapnSev]

I must see this wife you speak of.

[Gubna]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjJxD1j0P1I

[Jefenator]

Might want to narc him out to the company. Residential delivery may not be the best position to employ a creepy shark like that.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by Jefenator

Might want to narc him out to the company. Residential delivery may not be the best position to employ a creepy shark like that.

Seriously, unless FedEx is trying to branch out into amateur porn. Imagine the amount of bored horny housewife tail that FedEx guy could get!