The fiance pt 2. (Update from a previous thread)

[cassanova]

Okay, here's an update. As ya'll know for 5 months (since may) I've been hearing how she wants to get back together.

Well I went against my better judgement and talked to her about it. Long story short she tells me no and shoots me down.

I am a tad hurt because nobody likes to be rejected, but I'm mostly furious because I feel like she was just toying with my head and emotions for the last 5 months. I never stopped loving her but due to what had happened I had to break up with her. She says she didn't intentionally toy with my head and try to lead me on. I'm finding this very very hard to believe.


I can't recall the last time I've been this mad. I should never had bought into her bullcrap and trusted my gut feeling that said run and never look back.

[Ground Pounder]

Originally Posted by cassanova

run and never look back.

This

[Stanley Design]

At least now there's nothing stopping you from doing that from here on out. Good luck man, time to start fresh.

[Doodaddy]

I missed part 1, but that sounds like it all sucks.

[iamlowsound]

Well, now you have true closure. Move on.

lowsound

[Indiana Mike]

Originally Posted by cassanova

I am a tad hurt because nobody likes to be rejected, but I'm mostly furious because I feel like she was just toying with my head and emotions for the last 5 months. I never stopped loving her but due to what had happened I had to break up with her. She says she didn't intentionally toy with my head and try to lead me on. I'm finding this very very hard to believe.


I can't recall the last time I've been this mad. I should never had bought into her bullcrap and trusted my gut feeling that said run and never look back.

Women toying with mens heads?

what utter nonsense


Hang in there , you'll make it.

I've been there , learned from it .
I did it for eighteen years

I married the same woman twice, split up at least 5 other times. This month a year ago to the day she moved out and I haven't looked back . I am now happier than I have been in years , have a wonderful GF , peace and happiness have returned. I am a different person .

Goodnight ,I almost forgot, my one year anniversary of losing a pain in the a** is TODAY ! ::

I think some people do this for multiple reasons of self empowerment , at least the weak ones do
They do it just to see if they can . It's a power trip that gets them high and makes them feel all warm and fuzzy.

[cassanova]

Yeah, I agree with you on that bit about it being nonsense with women messing with a guys head. Just never thought she'd pull this kinda crap.

Learned quite a great deal more about her messed up head too when she called. All which are only confirming that I probably should've listened to my gut instinct and not had looked back. Though, I'll miss her and am a bit depressed by all that has transpired, this is one of the few times I can honestly say and believe that it's is her loss not mine.

Oh and I have no doubt that I'll get through this. I'm just going to stay as busy as I can.

If her doing what she did to me makes her feel warm and fuzzy, then she can and will be warm and fuzzy alone because I don't know of many guys that would be as understanding as I was about a lot of the stuff she said and did.

[TBrett]

Originally Posted by Indiana Mike

I think women do this for multiple reasons of self empowerment , at least the weak ones do
They do it just to see if they can . It's a power trip that gets them high and makes them feel all warm and fuzzy.

Let's change that line to, "Some people do this for multiple reasons..." Because let's face it, this kind of thing is not limited to one gender or the other. I've seen that kind of crap from men over the years. Some folks are just messed up. Period.

To address the OP's update (I remember the original thread), I'd say this has definitely been a lesson in trusting your gut. So sorry to hear what happened, though. That really sucks. But now that you get it, you can move on with a clean slate. It's finished. And when you're ready to meet someone new, I really hope you find a woman who is truly suited to you in every way. Peace to you!

Edit: A last minute addition... There are those who must have the last word in everything and who will try and lure someone back when they've been rejected, just so they can have the upper hand by dumping that person in turn. They are not able to understand or take responsibility for their part in the real issues that contributed to the demise of the relationship. OP, it sounds like your ex-fiancee might be one of these people. Despite your recent upset, I'm glad for you that this didn't work out so you didn't end up putting more time into what would likely have been a very difficult relationship!

[cassanova]

Originally Posted by TBrett

Edit: A last minute addition... There are those who must have the last word in everything and who will try and lure someone back when they've been rejected, just so they can have the upper hand by dumping that person in turn. They are not able to understand or take responsibility for their part in the real issues that contributed to the demise of the relationship. OP, it sounds like your ex-fiancee might be one of these people. Despite your recent upset, I'm glad for you that this didn't work out so you didn't end up putting more time into what would likely have been a very difficult relationship!

There's a rather large part of me that is glad things didn't work out too. But I did invest 3 years of my time and what not into this relationship, even longer if you take into consideration that I knew her before we started dating. That is 3 years of my life that I feel were wasted now. Funny thing is I don't recall her showing any of these stupid traits when here and I were just friends.

I thought about getting the last word in but thought it's just not worth it. Karma is a real bitch and it will come around and slap her right in her face 10 fold. I also hope it happens very soon. I'm vindictive like that when I'm pissed.

[Steve]

You've learned and grown plenty so the time wasn't wasted.

And when it comes to relationships, the only last word that matters is "goodbye".

IMHO YMMV

[MakiSupaStar]

Meh. Good riddance.

[PasdaBeer]

been through it, ill give you the best advice given to me ever dealing with break ups.

"Stop B&*&#*^& about it and move on"

I know it sounds callous, but its true.

[XtreO]

For some background reading, here is the original thread.

http://www.talkbass.com/forum/showthread.php?t=584775&highlight=

[XtreO]

Bump of eternal justice

[MatticusMania]

way to lose the baggage bro! good luck in that mysterious future!

[cassanova]

thank you. i do kinda feel a bit releaved by this as well.

[cassanova]

Originally Posted by XtreO

For some background reading, here is the original thread.

http://www.talkbass.com/forum/showthread.php?t=584775&highlight=

I clicked that link and it's taking me to you tube.

[MJ5150]

Seems like things are looking up. Hey, we all get curious and wonder "what if?", expecially when it comes to lost loves. Now you get to move on and not be plagued by "what if's" in this matter. I suspect it will make you a better man in your next relationship if you choose to have one.

-Mike

[NJL]

Originally Posted by MJ5150

Seems like things are looking up. Hey, we all get curious and wonder "what if?", expecially when it comes to lost loves. Now you get to move on and not be plagued by "what if's" in this matter. I suspect it will make you a better man in your next relationship if you choose to have one.

-Mike

+1

look at it as a character builder

[kiwlm]

short answer:
Remember, guys: You get one shot per girl per lifetime.

long answer:
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove...nt-listen.html