First date for a separated guy -- I'm nervous

jumbosilverette · #1 06-18-2008, 04:21 PM

Married for many years and have recently separated. Registered with Yahoo dating and got emailed by an attractive woman -- not exactly my sort, but ya gotta start someplace.
Date is tonight and she's meeting me at restaurant for drinks and or dinner (still unclear).
I've washed the car, set aside clothes, will shower, shave, etc. and have enough cash or credit to handle the evening.
Honestly guys, I don't think this woman is for me: we talked last night and she's a little self-absorbed and status-conscious. But I need to start somewhere after being out of circ for a while.
Any additional suggestions you guys can give me? Especially you older (40 and above) guys who are divorced or separated?

Thanks.

Petebass · #2 06-18-2008, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumbosilverette

Honestly guys, I don't think this woman is for me: we talked last night and she's a little self-absorbed and status-conscious.

There could be a chance she's just as nervous as you, and is therefore trying a little bit too hard to impress. By the end of the date you'll know if she's always like that or if she's a different person once she's more relaxed and comfortable.

KsToaDangr · #3 06-18-2008, 04:39 PM

okay, for the record, I'm not all that old(26), but I was married for about 3 years before I found out that she was abusing my son. Me and him got out of there and haven't seen her since. Honestly, I'd go to the dinner/drinks date expecting to have a good time, but if you don't think you're really into her, don't expect the best night of your life. Since my seperation started, I've been out on 8 or 9 dates, and only 1 was really good. On the other hand though, since you haven't actually met this person yet, you might find that the two of you get along really well and want to see each other again.

Not that my advice is usually worth a crap to most people, but like I said, just have fun.

Gard · #4 06-18-2008, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumbosilverette

Married for many years and have recently separated. Registered with Yahoo dating and got emailed by an attractive woman -- not exactly my sort, but ya gotta start someplace.
Date is tonight and she's meeting me at restaurant for drinks and or dinner (still unclear).
I've washed the car, set aside clothes, will shower, shave, etc. and have enough cash or credit to handle the evening.
Honestly guys, I don't think this woman is for me: we talked last night and she's a little self-absorbed and status-conscious. But I need to start somewhere after being out of circ for a while.
Any additional suggestions you guys can give me? Especially you older (40 and above) guys who are divorced or separated?

Thanks.

I've been right where you are, so I totally understand what you're going through. I was married for 13 years and did NOT want to be divorced, I truly loved my first wife.

Relax, have fun. If she's cool, she will enjoy the company, who knows what will happen. If not, no great loss, right?

Don't let your self-esteem get caught up in a first time experience. I suggest studying the Book Of Maki, and for the time being work on QUANTITY, not worry much about QUALITY just yet.

Y'know what, I had 3 years of singlehood, and enjoyed every moment. Then I met the perfect woman, and have never been happier. You'll be fine, just focus on having fun, and being yourself.

(Good luck!!!

)

**Thor** · #5 06-18-2008, 04:47 PM

Did you ask if she plays guitar? A lot of shallow self absorbed
people do.

If she's more interested in your wallet than your soul, then
she's not going to like a bassist.

Tard, up above there, gives great advice once or twice a year, I give him a 2 thumberoony up!

Got to head for rehearsal, I'm late. See y'all.

smeet · #6 06-18-2008, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumbosilverette

... an attractive woman ... she's a little self-absorbed and status-conscious ...

In LA??? Who ever heard of such a thing???

Seriously, I'm not separated or dating, but my wife and I are over 40 and that attitude is quite prevalent around here, to the point that I worry about its effect on our kids.

On the other hand, maybe exposure to somebody who is not like that (you) will be a refreshing change for her and she will open up a bit...

Either way, don't raise your expectations too high, and have a good time.

Atoz · #7 06-18-2008, 05:04 PM

I agree with everyone above. You're in a more or less zero-pressure situation. Have fun.

**Pacman** · #8 06-18-2008, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gard

I've been right where you are, so I totally understand what you're going through. I was married for 13 years and did NOT want to be divorced, I truly loved my first wife.

Relax, have fun. If she's cool, she will enjoy the company, who knows what will happen. If not, no great loss, right?

Don't let your self-esteem get caught up in a first time experience. I suggest studying the Book Of Maki, and for the time being work on QUANTITY, not worry much about QUALITY just yet.

Y'know what, I had 3 years of singlehood, and enjoyed every moment. Then I met the perfect woman, and have never been happier. You'll be fine, just focus on having fun, and being yourself.

(Good luck!!!

)

You know, Gard, I remember the hell you went through. And I'm so glad you're where you are now - it probably didn't seem like it going through it, but you've come a long way in a short time.

Good on you!

EricF · #9 06-18-2008, 05:57 PM

Been there, man. That first date is weird, but you gotta get your feet wet if you want to swim.

Like Gard, I truly loved my first wife, and getting divorced was not my idea. The first time I slept with another woman besides my ex, it felt very awkward that I was with someone different (for the first 3 seconds, anyway

). Those feeling pass, and you start a new phase of your life.

The best thing that happened to me during that time was that I really found out who I am.

Good luck, and don't forget to clear tha barrell before you head out on your date

FL Knifemaker · #10 06-18-2008, 06:01 PM

Have fun, make the best of it, you never know

It could be worse, this banner ad was at the bottom of the this thread

DanRJBrasil · #11 06-18-2008, 06:17 PM

be open minded and just let it be man, relax and have a good time , mnot need to be that anxious about it, let the woman talk by her elbows pretend that you are paying attention , and have a good time, maybe you 'll got luck

AlphaMale · #12 06-19-2008, 01:33 AM

Be confident.
Don't try to hard to impress her. Don't worry too much what she's thinking about you.

khazol · #13 06-19-2008, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaMale

Be confident.
Don't try to hard to impress her. Don't worry too much what she's thinking about you.

Alphamale it looks like you are into some seduction techniques.

Do you know Mystery?

Snakeman1066 · #14 06-19-2008, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumbosilverette

Married for many years and have recently separated. Registered with Yahoo dating and got emailed by an attractive woman -- not exactly my sort, but ya gotta start someplace.
Date is tonight and she's meeting me at restaurant for drinks and or dinner (still unclear).
I've washed the car, set aside clothes, will shower, shave, etc. and have enough cash or credit to handle the evening.
Honestly guys, I don't think this woman is for me: we talked last night and she's a little self-absorbed and status-conscious. But I need to start somewhere after being out of circ for a while.
Any additional suggestions you guys can give me? Especially you older (40 and above) guys who are divorced or separated?

Thanks.

Just be yourself....people are always too anxious on first dates and they always try too hard....

I going to assume that by the tone of your post your over 40

I can tell you that at my age (40) i will not put up with a lot of the crap that i did when i was a younger man. At your age you know what you like and what you don't so dont settle and as i aid be yourself. Also flirt a lot with every woman you meet regardless of age....good luck

XtreO · #15 06-19-2008, 03:01 AM

"Find your Filipina Beauty Today!" says the banner just over the quick reply-window. How very suiting! Good luck you your date!

ElectrAcoustic · #16 06-19-2008, 07:27 AM

Congratulations man.. go have the time of your life.. life is too short for living in misery.. thankfully we live in a country where you can get divorced and relive your 20s at any time..

MakiSupaStar · #17 06-19-2008, 08:03 AM

Remember your not looking for a new wife, your looking for a new piece of @$$. Who cares what she into. All conversations should steer you towards getting her in the sack even if you are not that attracted to her. She can be concerned about status all she wants, but it doesn't matter. If she talks too much compliment her on her attractive mouth and ask her if you can put something in it. That kind of silence is golden. As soon as she becomes so annoying that don't want to have sex with her, move onto the next chick.

disenchant · #18 06-19-2008, 08:31 AM

Been there. You're better now than where you were! And things will only get better!

Just have a good time! But don't do any of the following, as they were date enders for me:

1. Scratch your butt and then smell your finger.
2. Explain the fat content of everything on the menu.
3. Puke on my shoes in the parking lot.
4. Recommend that I order a salad.
5. Pick your ears and wipe the wax on the tablecloth.

Enjoy your date! It's just a date.

scottice · #19 06-19-2008, 08:33 AM

Wear a rubber. Have a good time!

scottice · #20 06-19-2008, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Remember your not looking for a new wife, your looking for a new piece of @$$. Who cares what she into. All conversations should steer you towards getting her in the sack even if you are not that attracted to her. She can be concerned about status all she wants, but it doesn't matter. If she talks too much compliment her on her attractive mouth and ask her if you can put something in it. That kind of silence is golden. As soon as she becomes so annoying that don't want to have sex with her, move onto the next chick.

Well that about says it all... thread closed.