Friend dating crazy ex

Stilettoprefer · #1 03-03-2011, 08:47 PM

A good buddy of mine (an excellent guitarist) is planning on asking out my insane ex girlfriend. I dumped her before I met him so he doesn't know about the crap I put up with with her. I.e her eating a live goldfish, fake depression, cutting for attention from her mother, deciding to go running after tearing her akeelees (I can't spell) tendon and the list goes on for days. It's 5 months after the breakup and she is still trying to get into my mind and mess with me.

Should I tell him about her and risk sounding like a huge jerk, or let him find out for himself?

PaulNYC · #2 03-03-2011, 08:52 PM

Dating someone could lead to big things. If you are concerned for your friend, you should say so.

Joe Gress · #3 03-03-2011, 08:57 PM

Is she hot?

UncleFluffy · #4 03-03-2011, 09:00 PM

IME, getting involved in other people's romantic business never works out well. Just make sure you've got a couch and a couple of beers ready for when the time comes to pick him up off the floor.

You can try one warning, but if he goes for it after that, leave him to learn whatever lessons he needs to.

DUC1098 · #5 03-03-2011, 09:11 PM

Having had my share of crazy exes I can tell you that he probably won't believe you. I would say your best bet would probably be to tell him what happened to you as a warning and hope, if the still decides to go out with her, he starts seeing "the signs". But don't be too judgmental in how you describe what happened or it might look to him like you are upset that "she dumped you".

Number27 · #6 03-03-2011, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Gress

Is she hot?

Oh course she is, did you not read how crazy she was?

I had a friend who went out with his own crazy ex. Haha, that ended well.

If this guy is your actual friend then you should def. tell him about her. If she's half as crazy as i think she is then he should definetly NOT find out for himself (you never know when these crazy girl situations end in court dates).

Stilettoprefer · #7 03-03-2011, 09:34 PM

thinking back there were some definate signs of the future insanity from her early on. I was just too dumb to realize it at the time.

I'll warn him once and if he goes for it I'll just mind my own business and wait for him to realize who she really is. Thanks for the help guys

Kwesi · #8 03-04-2011, 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stilettoprefer

A good buddy of mine (an excellent guitarist) is planning on asking out my insane ex girlfriend. I dumped her before I met him so he doesn't know about the crap I put up with with her. I.e her eating a live goldfish, fake depression, cutting for attention from her mother, deciding to go running after tearing her akeelees (I can't spell) tendon and the list goes on for days. It's 5 months after the breakup and she is still trying to get into my mind and mess with me.

Should I tell him about her and risk sounding like a huge jerk, or let him find out for himself?

For the love of God, the universe, and humanity TELL HIM! Friends don't let friends walk onto landmines. It may be tricky to figure out a way to do it without sounding like a jerk but you'll have to risk it and if he's really a friend he'll at least listen.

Actium · #9 03-04-2011, 08:03 AM

Warn him well but let him make his own decision. That's about all you can do.

Do you know if the girl is leading him on? There's a chance she is only willing to date him to be able to mess with your head more easily. Also, your friend probably won't believe you if you say that.

DWBass · #10 03-04-2011, 08:09 AM

#1 Tell your friend! Everything!
#2 She could be trying to get close to you! I've seen this 1000 times before!
#3 Tell your friend! Everything!

Skitch it! · #11 03-04-2011, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleFluffy

IME, getting involved in other people's romantic business never works out well. Just make sure you've got a couch and a couple of beers ready for when the time comes to pick him up off the floor.

You can try one warning, but if he goes for it after that, leave him to learn whatever lessons he needs to.

+1, I'm with this,

If he is a friend, he probably has a little inkling of your ex's modus operandi from snippets of your conversations in the past maybe? Or not? Mentioned your ex and her quirks before to your friend?

pie_man_25 · #12 03-04-2011, 09:10 AM

I'd tell him, I wouldn't push it - it's been said before that he probably won't take your word for it, but if he does he'll be that much better off and if he doesn't, you at least did the right thing. True story: I dated a friend's crazy ex before, he warned me, I believed him with the next chick.

DWBass · #13 03-04-2011, 09:55 AM

While I never dated a crazy ex before I did go out with and eventually marry a girl that a LOT of folks, including her parents, warned me about. Boy, love is blind. 1989! Worst summer of my entire life!

Don't let your friend suffer like that! Warn him! In the event he still goes out with her, make some rules about her coming into your house, attending rehearsals, etc! I guarantee you, all hell will break loose sooner or later!

Munjibunga · #14 03-04-2011, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Gress

Is she hot?

[/thread]

jam.majors · #15 03-04-2011, 10:03 AM

Tell him!

I dated a crazy chick that never wanted to call it dating. She wanted all my time and love, but wouldn't say we were together. That finally broke apart when she started "hanging out" with a school mate of mine. I told him she was trouble (he had just been dropped by his fiancée), but he didn't believe. Well, he did about 3 months later when we found him curled in a ball on his dorm floor sobbing.

She was not good.

P.S. Let us know what happens!

Phalex · #16 03-04-2011, 10:03 AM

Kinda puts me in mind of a Buck Cherry song.....

Munjibunga · #17 03-04-2011, 10:04 AM

Lose - lose. He's probably not going to want to hear what you have to tell him, and it could affect your relationship with him. If you don't tell him, he's going to be pissed and ask you why you didn't tell him after he finds out about her first hand.

Clark Dark · #18 03-04-2011, 10:10 AM

my $.02

..."up with bro's"

Stilettoprefer · #19 03-04-2011, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phalex

Kinda puts me in mind of a Buck Cherry song.....

That song put me in the mindset to make it through the last month of that relationship lol.

And she's gone after friends of mine before. One ended up dating her fraternal twin sister instead:P that didnt last long lol. the others knew about my experiences with her, so they didn't even consider it. This guy I didn't really get to know until after the break up so he didn't witness what I went through with her. I kinda wish I saved some of the texts she sent me the day I decided to dump her.... And the week after when she was "suicidal" and started texting my sister calling me all sorts of horrible names, then texting me saying the she was gonna kill herself and knew when and where she was gonna do it. I texted her dad and told him everything she told me, and what shed been saying to my sister. she quit texting me for a while.

SoonerMatt · #20 03-04-2011, 10:59 AM

I've been in your friend's shoes before and I wish someone had tole me what I was getting myself into. Give him a warning but don't try to talk him out of it.