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-   -   Friend Zone - Sexist or Innocent Term used to Describe a Common Situation? (http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f34/friend-zone-sexist-innocent-term-used-describe-common-situation-947600/)

jmattbassplaya 01-10-2013 05:01 PM

Friend Zone - Sexist or Innocent Term used to Describe a Common Situation?
 
I've heard arguments from both sides. What say you?

MatticusMania 01-10-2013 05:03 PM

I no longer believe in the construct of the friend zone.

I dont personally see how one could view it as sexist, perhaps someone can enlighten me on that perception?

BawanaRik 01-10-2013 05:12 PM

Some people can't accept a situation for what it is. To process it they put it into a box that they can process. Weather or not it fits into said box.

Certain groups of people have been branding certain other groups as "Sexist" for decades. It "works" for them and until they get the dose of reality they need they will continue to do so.



Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania (Post 13700414)
I no longer believe in the construct of the friend zone.

I dont personally see how one could view it as sexist, perhaps someone can enlighten me on that perception?


MatticusMania 01-10-2013 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BawanaRik (Post 13700468)
Some people can't accept a situation for what it is. To process it they put it into a box that they can process. Weather or not it fits into said box.

Yeah, I know what the "friend zone" is. In my youth, I spent some time in that box myself. I just no longer find myself being restricted by such barriers, as with the right approach, the box can be deconstructed.

Quote:

Certain groups of people have been branding certain other groups as "Sexist" for decades. It "works" for them and until they get the dose of reality they need they will continue to do so.
Im having trouble in seeing how someone could view the "friend zone" as sexist, though.

line6man 01-10-2013 05:16 PM

I'm not even all that old, but whenever I hear someone say something like "Friend Zone," I get grumpy about trendy young-person lingo. It sounds very childish.:hmm:

A-Step-Towards 01-10-2013 05:20 PM

The friend zone exists because women are hit on more than men by 10 to 1 odds usually. Thus they keep a few guys around as friends before selecting there potential mate. The whole idea of courtship in the human world is just like that of animals, males fighting each other for the ability to mate with a female.

MatticusMania 01-10-2013 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A-Step-Towards (Post 13700517)
The friend zone exists because women are hit on more than men by 10 to 1 odds usually. Thus they keep a few guys around as friends before selecting there potential mate. The whole idea of courtship in the human world is just like that of animals, males fighting each other for the ability to mate with a female.

Its not called cockiness for naught.

Ziltoid 01-10-2013 05:24 PM

It's what the white-heterosexuals want you to believe!

[/Queer theory]

And no this comment is not against the rules, it's in no way discriminatory. Queer Theory is an actual serious field of study in post-structuralism philosophy.

Cabazon 01-10-2013 05:29 PM

I've only ever heard the term used when referring to a situation where a guy thinks he deserves to have intimate relations with a friend of his because he's a good friend.

Outside of this situation, it's "friendship" not "friend zone."

Ziltoid 01-10-2013 05:32 PM

My guess is it sounds less harsh than saying you've been rejected, hence why people use it.

BawanaRik 01-10-2013 05:40 PM

I didn't say the "Friend Zone" was Sexist. I said that painting all men as desparite creatures who exist only in reference to the V word mentioned in the link is sexist. And quite immature.

Go back to that link and imagine the gender roles reversed and anyone daring to make similar comments about a girl. The fact is that if it's offensive when the gender roles ( and this does not just apply to gender bias. I apply it to every PC cannard) then it's offensive.



"Im having trouble in seeing how someone could view the "friend zone" as sexist, though.[/quote]"

bigboy_78 01-10-2013 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania (Post 13700488)

Im having trouble in seeing how someone could view the "friend zone" as sexist, though.

Its the way the word is used, rather than the concept that is considered sexist.

Its considered sexist by some women because “friendzone” is considered a bad place to be by some men. Some women construe this as lending weight to the idea that men think they have some sort of entitlement to a woman’s body, which some women then further extrapolate to say a man who is unhappy about some unrequited physical desire is some sort of rape apologist.

jonathan_matos5 01-10-2013 05:45 PM

I'm in the "moving on after discovering that a girl just isn't as into me as i thought" zone. its amazing how frequent i am in this zone.

no complaints there is beer and tv in this zone and from time to time other interesting things.

BawanaRik 01-10-2013 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A-Step-Towards (Post 13700517)
The friend zone exists because women are hit on more than men by 10 to 1 odds usually. Thus they keep a few guys around as friends before selecting there potential mate. The whole idea of courtship in the human world is just like that of animals, males fighting each other for the ability to mate with a female.

Please. Allow me to say that I consider your post just plain sexist. BTW I think you mean "Their".

And apparently you're not 6' 3" male with a nice office making 200K plus a year.

I meet a guy was on the staff of Paul Allen's yacht. He had tales to tell that might open your mind a bit.

A-Step-Towards 01-10-2013 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BawanaRik (Post 13700638)
Please. Allow me to say that I consider your post just plain sexist. BTW I think you mean "Their".

And apparently you're not 6' 3" male with a nice office making 200K plus a year.

I meet a guy was on the staff of Paul Allen's yacht. He had tales to tell that might open your mind a bit.

That’s fine if you think its sexist, your opinion. I simply stated an opinion of mine based on observations I have had in real life. I am 6 foot and 23 thus making 200k a year is a little farfetched. I was engaged for many years and am only recently single, if we need to dive into my personal life.

BawanaRik 01-10-2013 06:01 PM

Do they make it clear they aren't that interested in you by paying for dinner and such? Or did they play the friend zone for the cash and prizes? Just wondering.


Quote:

Originally Posted by jonathan_matos5 (Post 13700631)
I'm in the "moving on after discovering that a girl just isn't as into me as i thought" zone. its amazing how frequent i am in this zone.

no complaints there is beer and tv in this zone and from time to time other interesting things.


jonathan_matos5 01-10-2013 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BawanaRik (Post 13700696)
Do they make it clear they aren't that interested in you by paying for dinner and such? Or did they play the friend zone for the cash and prizes? Just wondering.

oddly enough face to face after a evening of not so friend zone like activities. . .

I was used and then ladder theoried. :hmm:

BawanaRik 01-10-2013 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigboy_78 (Post 13700620)
Its the way the word is used, rather than the concept that is considered sexist.

Its considered sexist by some women because “friendzone” is considered a bad place to be by some men. Some women construe this as lending weight to the idea that men think they have some sort of entitlement to a woman’s body, which some women then further extrapolate to say a man who is unhappy about some unrequited physical desire is some sort of rape apologist.


Wow, taking someone "Construing" something with no basis in fact and extrapolating it to to rape is more of a logic leap than I believe I've ever heard before. I do not feel that I can support something so biased as this.

Thank goodness for the Innocence Project that frees men jailed by mindsets as that you've mentioned.

Here's a link to their webpage. I suggest you check out the faces of innocence and send them a donation. These are the real victims and deserve help.

http://www.innocenceproject.org/

BawanaRik 01-10-2013 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jonathan_matos5 (Post 13700727)
oddly enough face to face after a evening of not so friend zone like activities. . .

I was used and then ladder theoried. :hmm:

Then they weren't just friends. Good.

jonathan_matos5 01-10-2013 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BawanaRik (Post 13700742)
Then they weren't just friends. Good.

more like meh. :hmm: than good.


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