Friend Zone - Sexist or Innocent Term used to Describe a Common Situation?

[BawanaRik]

Originally Posted by jonathan_matos5

more like meh. than good.

Still it's like pizza.

[hrodbert696]

Some consider the belief in a "friend zone" sexist because the implication is that man X would inevitably have a shot at woman Y if he hadn't made friends with her first. They take that to imply that man X thinks all women are there for the conquering and the "friend zone" is an unfair defense tactic against his advances (and that it was a tactical error on his part to form a friendship with a desirable woman in the first place).

Personally, I think that's overthinking and overpoliticizing it a bit, but it has a point. I don't feel any need to launch crusades and protests against guys who kvetch about being "friend zoned." Lay off and let them lick their wounds.

But when a woman says, "I just think of you as a friend," what she's trying to say is, "I'm not into you," without being mean about it. That's all there is to it.

[cjmodulus]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Yeah, I know what the "friend zone" is. In my youth, I spent some time in that box myself. I just no longer find myself being restricted by such barriers, as with the right approach, the box can be deconstructed.



Im having trouble in seeing how someone could view the "friend zone" as sexist, though.

Care to share your box destruction technique, oh master matticus?
No, that's not facetiousness, I'm genuinely curious as I tend to find myself stuck in said box quite frequently with nothing but a bass to practice on... :/
I subbed to this thread, and I've read some interesting perspectives so far.

[jonathan_matos5]

Originally Posted by BawanaRik

Still it's like pizza.

better with beer?

[LiquidMidnight]

Originally Posted by Ziltoid

. Queer Theory is an actual serious field of study in post-structuralism philosophy.

[Silver Blues]

Subbed, I'm interested too. Do continue.

--Silvie

[jonathan_matos5]

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

Some consider the belief in a "friend zone" sexist because the implication is that man X would inevitably have a shot at woman Y if he hadn't made friends with her first. They take that to imply that man X thinks all women are there for the conquering and the "friend zone" is an unfair defense tactic against his advances (and that it was a tactical error on his part to form a friendship with a desirable woman in the first place).

Personally, I think that's overthinking and overpoliticizing it a bit, but it has a point. I don't feel any need to launch crusades and protests against guys who kvetch about being "friend zoned." Lay off and let them lick their wounds.

But when a woman says, "I just think of you as a friend," what she's trying to say is, "I'm not into you," without being mean about it. That's all there is to it.

there is a little of "I like someone else more than you" in there too when they say that. it is the female equivalent to "it's not you, it's me"

[Ziltoid]

Originally Posted by LiquidMidnight

One does not simply read any post-structuralism philo

[BawanaRik]

Originally Posted by jonathan_matos5

there is a little of "I like someone else more than you" in there too when they say that. it is the female equivalent to "it's not you, it's me"

Actually it's more like I'm keeping you around hoping for a better deal but I think I can color you bagged if I feel the need. And Btw thanks for dinner.

Keeping her options open while closing the man's. Clever. Do not fall for it.

[DerHoggz]

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

Some consider the belief in a "friend zone" sexist because the implication is that man X would inevitably have a shot at woman Y if he hadn't made friends with her first. They take that to imply that man X thinks all women are there for the conquering and the "friend zone" is an unfair defense tactic against his advances (and that it was a tactical error on his part to form a friendship with a desirable woman in the first place).

Personally, I think that's overthinking and overpoliticizing it a bit, but it has a point. I don't feel any need to launch crusades and protests against guys who kvetch about being "friend zoned." Lay off and let them lick their wounds.

But when a woman says, "I just think of you as a friend," what she's trying to say is, "I'm not into you," without being mean about it. That's all there is to it.

I'm feeling this post. Really, a dating relationship can come about either way IMO, shotgun approach or built from a friendship.

[Kwesi]

Originally Posted by BawanaRik

Actually it's more like I'm keeping you around hoping for a better deal but I think I can color you bagged if I feel the need. And Btw thanks for dinner.

Keeping her options open while closing the man's. Clever. Do not fall for it.

This post is dripping with cynicism, lol.

[Ziltoid]

Originally Posted by Kwesi

This post is dripping with cynicism, lol.

Talkbass can be awfully bad when it comes to certain topics, girls thread are often filled with misogyny and cynicism.

[champbassist]

In my opinion, it's a pretty innocuous term and interpreting it as sexist is taking it too far.

If you're going to find sexism to the point of protesting in a term such as 'friendzone', I could very well give you arguments to find sexism in pretty much every term in today's relationship lingo.

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

I don't feel any need to launch crusades and protests against guys who kvetch about being "friend zoned."

Indeed, and it's for the same reason that I'm not offended, as a man, about those situations when my female friends complain how some guy considers them 'just a friend'. Yes, I will agree with all those who point out that this is probably less often a thought in the mind of a girl than in a boy's, but that doesn't affect the presence of the inherent 'sexism', for those who find it.

[Kwesi]

Originally Posted by Ziltoid

Talkbass can be awfully bad when it comes to certain topics, girls thread are often filled with misogyny and cynicism.

Yea, I usually stay away from those topics myself because sooner or later the posts begin to legitimately disgust me. I've got thoughts on the subject but I'd rather just duck out now.

[sandmangeck]

You can eradicate the friendzone by copius amounts of whiskey, and a night alone.

[Ziltoid]

Originally Posted by Kwesi

Yea, I usually stay away from those topics myself because sooner or later the posts begin to legitimately disgust me. I've got thoughts on the subject but I'd rather just duck out now.

I find it entertaining for the most part. I imagine a narrator with a national geographic voice describing what's happening, much fun.

[skychief]

Sure am glad to be married. Dont have to deal friendzone issues. Truth is, i haven't a clue what friendzone is/means!

[jonathan_matos5]

Originally Posted by skychief

Sure am glad to be married. Dont have to deal friendzone issues. Truth is, i haven't a clue what friendzone is/means!

closest you can get is the silent treatment with no nookie.

[bigboy_78]

Originally Posted by skychief

Sure am glad to be married. Dont have to deal friendzone issues. Truth is, i haven't a clue what friendzone is/means!

Friendzone is when you spend a fair bit of time hanging out with a hot girl, but never get to sleep with her.........sort of like being married.

[SR505bassman]

Check out the ladder theory link on the first page. If nothing else, it's pretty funny.