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11-20-2008, 08:01 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Long Island, NY | | | Friends ---> More then Friends
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Normally I wouldn't go to a bunch of strangers for this kind of advice, but most of my friends suck on this subject and I figured some outside opinions couldn't hurt:
I've been very close friends with a girl for nearly 8 years. We've been through a lot of **** together, always been there for each other etc, but never went beyond the friend zone in any way.
For a little while we fell out of touch as she moved in with a boyfriend and I was busy with my band and work. But recently (since the beginning of the summer), since she broke up with the boyfriend, we've been hanging out a lot more frequently and it's becoming very clear that I want to take our relationship further and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way. But naturally, this is a delicate subject. Not to mention women aren't exactly easy to read when it comes to this kind of thing. It's just hard to finagle my way into that subject when I have so much history with her already.
Any suggestions on how to go about this without screwing up a good friendship? I'm mature enough and ready to make a serious commitment, but damn it's just not easy to bring it up with her. I guess I'm shy or something 
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Last edited by MAJOR METAL : 11-21-2008 at 02:33 PM.
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11-20-2008, 08:06 PM
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Originally Posted by MikeyFingers  Normally I wouldn't go to a bunch of strangers for this kind of advice, but most of my friends suck on this subject and I figured some outside opinions couldn't hurt | I don't see how a forum of bass players is any more qualified than your friends are to dispense this advice  
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Originally Posted by Bryan316 Woman, I am not too proud to keep my pimp hand from FLYING in this movie theater. That Cloverfield monster is fake, I am REAL. | |
11-20-2008, 08:13 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: St. John's, NL | | | grow a pair and be straight with her.
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Originally Posted by MilkyMcMilkMilk i've seen cats in my neighborhood being brutally raped, it seems to be becoming some sort of epidemic. | |
11-20-2008, 08:13 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Boston | | | Here's a simple test:
Comment her on her hair. As you're doing this, stroke it. If she likes it, escalate a bit. If she's not cool with it, you know where you stand.
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11-20-2008, 08:16 PM
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Ibanez Freakazoid | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Toronto | | man...use you instinct, asking people who don;t know you or her isnt going to shed any light on the matter. Just follow your instinct and let hers do the rest...  |
11-20-2008, 08:30 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Chicago, IL | | | Ask if she swallows.
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11-20-2008, 08:35 PM
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Endorsing Artist: Spector Basses | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Montreal | | | give her the shocker
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11-20-2008, 08:36 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Long Island, NY | | | ^Best advice I've heard all night.
I'm thinking Fontaine and Swin have the right idea.
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"Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry."
-John Lennon
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11-20-2008, 08:37 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: S.E. Connecticut, USA | | | Get yer pinky stinky then never call her again |
11-20-2008, 08:37 PM
|  | As a matter of fact....I am your Queen!
Endorsing Artist Mike Lull T Bass pickups | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Seattle Washington | | | You've known her 8 years, so I think you can ask her just about anything you'd like .............Good luck |
11-20-2008, 08:46 PM
|  | Funkify your Life | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Bucket, RI. | | | If you think she may feel the same way she is probably wondering why you haven't made a move yet.
Any way, just find a way to take her out. Make a pass, or tell her, what ever. Just don't let the chance slip by and make a post about how she found someone else before you did anything about it. Even if you're wrong it may be awkward at first, but you'll (and she) will get over it. Take chances in life or die with regrets. |
11-20-2008, 08:52 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Nova Scotia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Chunk-O-Funk If you think she may feel the same way she is probably wondering why you haven't made a move yet.
Any way, just find a way to take her out. Make a pass, or tell her, what ever. Just don't let the chance slip by and make a post about how she found someone else before you did anything about it. Even if you're wrong it may be awkward at first, but you'll (and she) will get over it. Take chances in life or die with regrets. | More than likely if you're wrong it will be awkward. However, as Chunk says it will pass if she cares by any measure. Better to live with the facts than with regret.
Try not to approach the situation while inebriated. The awkwardness becomes very awkward the day after :\
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11-20-2008, 08:59 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Los Angeles | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Chunk-O-Funk ... just find a way to take her out. | Tell her that you've grown really close to her and would she like to go on a "real date" with you.
If you get to talking about your relationship, tell her what it is about her that gets your attention, talk about the future, see if you can find common ground and somewhere during the date, hold her hand. If she doesn't pull away, you're golden.
Good luck. |
11-20-2008, 09:30 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: tulsa oklahoma | | it is like looking in a mirror and seeing the past. 
i say go for it. do not hesitate or someone will sweep in and steal her away from you and you will be stuck with the what ifs for the rest of your life.
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11-20-2008, 09:39 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: WI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Stumbo Tell her that you've grown really close to her and would she like to go on a "real date" with you.
If you get to talking about your relationship, tell her what it is about her that gets your attention, talk about the future, see if you can find common ground and somewhere during the date, hold her hand. If she doesn't pull away, you're golden.
Good luck. | We have a winner.
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Originally Posted by JimB52 I'd pay not to see that. Just thinking about it's giving me a hard off. | Wisconsin Bassists Club #62 Tom Foolery |
11-20-2008, 10:35 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Rochelle, Illinois | | Ask her out on a real date just like you would for a woman you were getting interested in that you didn't know for eight years.
You do know how to do that, right? 
(just kidding)
Okay, then. If she agrees to the date, take her out and treat her special. Show her a good time. If you both have a good experience, ask her out on another date. Repeat as needed.
Treat her like your "buddy" and that's what she'll be. But show her that you're really interested in her and she'll get the message.
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11-20-2008, 10:37 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Fredericksburg, Virginia | | | I'm glad to see a positive relationship thread on here. and that sentence too real effort to type.
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11-20-2008, 10:38 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: St. John's, NL | | Quote:
Originally Posted by jonathan_matos5 it is like looking in a mirror and seeing the past.
i say go for it. do not hesitate or someone will sweep in and steal her away from you and you will be stuck with the what ifs for the rest of your life. | never listen to Johnny boy when it comes to relationships, he gets just as much play as a cassette tape.
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The Original King of Stupidity; Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkyMcMilkMilk i've seen cats in my neighborhood being brutally raped, it seems to be becoming some sort of epidemic. | |
11-20-2008, 10:41 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Fredericksburg, Virginia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Fontaine never listen to Johnny boy when it comes to relationships, he gets just as much play as a cassette tape. | depends on the year. is he a cassette in 1989?
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11-20-2008, 10:41 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Melbourne, Australia. | | | Man, just be honest and communicate... | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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