Friendships drifting apart after a commited relationship ?

**MAJOR METAL** · #1 01-27-2008, 08:02 PM

Is it normal for friends to drift apart after they enter into commited relationships and or get married ? I have seen a few times people getting into their first serious relationship with someone they loose almost all connection to their friends and even in some cases their own family.

knarleybass · #2 01-27-2008, 08:06 PM

It does happen, Dr Larura will tell you that "a person's significant other should be placed above friends" (I don't know what she said about family). I have also had guy friends get into relationships and completely if not alienate their friends, it's a tactic of some women/men, isolate their other from the rest of the world, so it's just the two of them, and there is no where to go.

Valerus · #3 01-27-2008, 08:08 PM

It happened to me.

knarleybass · #4 01-27-2008, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valerus

It happened to me.

What happened?

JNowiski · #5 01-27-2008, 08:13 PM

most my friends from high school drifted away from everyone once they got into a relationship, now i have very limited contact, if any, with most the people i went to high school with.

skaliwag66 · #6 01-27-2008, 08:36 PM

Sit on you porch with a shotgun and watch 'em come crawling back. nyah hah hah hah!

sorry

Valerus · #7 01-27-2008, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knarleybass

What happened?

Oops, sorry for being vague.

I was in my first relationship and spent every moment with her. I never hung out with my friends for a couple of months.

Then we broke up. It felt like I was released from prison, screaming "Thank God Almighty...free at last!!"

PrimusNut · #8 01-27-2008, 08:50 PM

Yup. Actually lost a good friend when I got with my gf because I spend all my time with her and my friend/roommate got jealous.

alfredpunkjazz · #9 01-27-2008, 09:44 PM

I have spent almost a year dealing with this problem, I just can't let down my friends, but she won't understand... damn it...

kserg · #10 01-27-2008, 09:53 PM

Women, I tell you... Can't live with them, can't hire a hitman to put em in a ditch somewhere in midwest.

Valerus · #11 01-27-2008, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kserg

Women, I tell you... Can't live with them, can't hire a hitman to put em in a ditch somewhere in midwest.

Man, you must have gotten jipped! What did you pay the guy?

ras1983 · #12 01-27-2008, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valerus

Man, you must have gotten jipped! What did you pay the guy?

Obviously he didn't hire the guy from 'No Country For Old Men'.

MakiSupaStar · #13 01-28-2008, 09:13 AM

This is why the follow Man Law was drafted.

Man Law 63. Bros before Hos (Kind of implied but it needs to be documented none the less)

i_got_a_mohawk · #14 01-28-2008, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valerus

spent every moment with her. I never hung out with my friends for a couple of months.

Then we broke up. It felt like I was released from prison, screaming "Thank God Almighty...free at last!!"

Been there too!

*smb · #15 01-28-2008, 09:32 AM

When I my ex-girlfriend moved in with me I saw a lot less of my friends...glad I got rid of that bitch anyway!

Edit: Exactly that feeling Valerus! Much happier now.

Valerus · #16 01-28-2008, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by i_got_a_mohawk

Been there too!

I'm glad you made it out alive too!

casualmadness · #17 01-28-2008, 09:53 AM

It isn't always the person who is in the relationship who alienates friends. When I married my ex-wife, I had one particular friend who I still called regularly and asked him to hang out and he always had excuses not to. As a matter of fact, the wife and I lived just next door to some of his friends who had moved from their home town and were sharing an apartment (about four guys). So on the weekends, he would go to that apartment and they would drink, go out, etc. He spent every weekend there. I would always ask him to stop by my place but he never did. And yet I would often hear from other friends that he would talk trash about me saying thigns like..."since he got married no one ever sees him around. Marriage is so not cool; it ruins everything!"

i_got_a_mohawk · #18 01-28-2008, 10:01 AM

In all honesty mate, your probably better of without a friend like that

Flabby1 · #19 01-28-2008, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

This is why the follow Man Law was drafted.

Man Law 63. Bros before Hos (Kind of implied but it needs to be documented none the less)

you can but i'm not gonna sleep with any of my guy friends

weirdo

disenchant · #20 01-28-2008, 01:18 PM

It has happened to me. It also happens again when your friends have kids. Suddenly if you don't have kids, you're not in the "I have kids club" and you don't get invited out.

I think your relationship changes with your friends when you have a SO. Suddenly your SO is your best friend (and should be) so you go to them first with good/bad news and advice. And you want to go with them first to cool events like concerts.

I still see my girlfriends, even though we all have SOs. We do girlie things like scrapbooking or shoe shopping, or pillow fights in our lingerie. We just end up doing things on weeknights, cuz weekends are reserved for SOs or family, and if we do get together on a weekend, it's during the day and we all rush home at 5pm to have dinner with our SOs.