Frustrated, need to vent.

drummer5359 · #1 04-30-2011, 10:04 PM

Since my strokes three years ago I from time to time have issues with my speech. The doctors say that it is normal and I should be happy that I've recovered as well as I have. Certainly I understand that.

The other day we had a meeting with our contractor and I was having serious speech issues. I could not complete sentences, the frustration level is impossible to describe. It's embarassing and I can't even put into words what it's like when it happens.

I've had therapy for it and for the most part I'm fine, but when it happens there is nothing I can do about it. Tonight we were going to go out to meet some friends and I just couldn't do it. This issue is one of the key reasons that I retired.

Hell, I did public speaking as part of my job. This drives me insane.

I just needed to vent.

Jeff K · #2 04-30-2011, 10:20 PM

Hey Mike. I'm sorry to hear that. Not much I can say, but just want you to know that I really feel for you. I can only imagine how difficult it must be when your brain knows what you want to say, but you're unable to physically voice it. Do the docs think it will improve with time? Hopefully this won't offend you, but I'll keep you in my prayers. Try not to get too discouraged...

MJ5150 · #3 04-30-2011, 10:20 PM

Hang in there bro. How long do the episodes last when they start up? Are there certain events that trigger them? Like stress, or excitement?

-Mike

drummer5359 · #4 04-30-2011, 11:07 PM

Stress or fatigue can trigger an episode and it can last a few minutes each time. Sometimes it can happen several times in a conversation. Then I might go a month without this issue. The doctors actually think that considering the magnitude of my stroke, this is a minor inconvenience. It will not get any better. At this point it is more about learning to accept it. Sometimes are easier than others.

Thanks, I'm just having a rough day.

Scott1 · #5 04-30-2011, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drummer5359

Stress or fatigue can trigger an episode and it can last a few minutes each time. Sometimes it can happen several times in a conversation. Then I might go a month without this issue. The doctors actually think that considering the magnitude of my stroke, this is a minor inconvenience. It will not get any better. At this point it is more about learning to accept it. Sometimes are easier than others.

Thanks, I'm just having a rough day.

I can relate. Sending you a PM.

bassteban · #6 04-30-2011, 11:45 PM

I can't really relate to your specific situation, but appreciate the need to let it out. I'll just suggest that you do this- let it out. This place is full of a-holes, the disinterested & the bored, but also those willing to listen. Hang in there.

jp58 · #7 05-01-2011, 12:19 AM

My mom is going through something similar, although it isn't stroke related. My mom has Ménière's disease, and it causes things like vertigo, hearing loss, etc. She recently has lost her ability to drive, and she occasionally struggles at everyday tasks. She gets flustered easily, and I have to constantly remind myself that she is disabled and needs help.

Back on topic- It always sucks to hear about a member of the TB community struggling, and I hope things get better.

KillerNeuron · #8 05-01-2011, 12:31 AM

I am sorry to hear that and hope your condition improves.

May I ask what area of your brain the stroke occurred? Neurology is a very serious interest of mine, and I'm on the long road to medical school as we speak with the end goal being neurologist.

Don't stop talking to different docs... Neuro is a vast field with many different opinions and approaches between doctors. Getting other opinions might open some more doors for you. Don't be afraid to explore many different venues. Treatment and recovery research is making leaps and bounds every day!

be thankful for and focus on music in your life... It's effects are truly remarkable on those who's bodies have been adversely affected. I have my own medical recovery to testify.

Will be keeping you in my thoughts.

ramones365 · #9 05-01-2011, 12:34 AM

Hang in there, dude. I really hope things start to look up. We all here on the forum wish you the best, and hope it gets better.

MJ5150 · #10 05-01-2011, 01:14 AM

It's you synapses, they aren't synapsing on time. Make them do extra push-ups or run an extra lap around the track.

-Mike

CauliColin · #11 05-01-2011, 02:09 AM

It can only get better.

Skitch it! · #12 05-01-2011, 08:26 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, it must be incredibly frustrating and depressing too.

May I say try to turn that frustration into something positive if you can, using that 'other' voice musicians have, take it easy

Relic · #13 05-01-2011, 08:36 AM

I imagine that it must be a huge pain in the butt at times... but you gotta hang in there and be thankful for the ability to play music, to even be able to type on a computer! I've had two uncles that have had strokes...ugh bad stuff..god bless and keep on kicking arse like you've been doing!

Downunderwonder · #14 05-01-2011, 09:39 AM

I'm no doctor, but if everything is more or less hunky dory most of the time it sounds more like you have a phsycological, see I can't even spell it, problem that rears up when you get tired and miss, due to the stroke, rather than the stroke damage itself causing you to lose it. A few sessions of hypnotherapy might get you over that bump if that's what is going on.

MakiSupaStar · #15 05-01-2011, 09:39 AM

Yeah I've had some first hand experience with brain injuries caused by bleeding. That's gotta be annoying as all hell, but it could be a LOT worse, all things considered. If you're given the chance to explain yourself, I'm sure most people would be more than understanding and willing to accommodate your occasional dysphasia. Hang in there brother. Have patience with yourself.

IconBasser · #16 05-01-2011, 10:14 AM

hey mate, considering that you've had strokes, at least you're not dead.

Downunderwonder · #17 05-01-2011, 10:36 AM

Way to cheer the man up!

Keep rock'n dude, nobody much minds a mute drummer.

masturbasser · #18 05-01-2011, 11:30 AM

I had a brain tumor removed in 07 but in January of this year I had the first of two seizures in almost 4 years. Now when I get stressed I become unable to speak or slur my words. It's like I know the idea I want to get across but can't think of the words to articulate it. I practice breathing exercises and sometimes take valerian root to calm my anxiety. There's no shame in explaining that you need a minute to collect yourself. I find out Tuesday if I have cancer again.

warwick.hoy · #19 05-01-2011, 12:03 PM

While my situation wasn't nearly as serious as a stroke,...I caught an incredibly bad migraine that triggered what the doctor called expressive aphasia.

It crept up as my wife and I were having a picnic at a park (that I drove too). I couldn't say the word aluminum unless I pronounced it the way the British do (no joke).

So I drove home where it steadily got worse, to the point where I couldn't even type out a coherent sentence in a Facebook status update.

I scared the crap out of the wife to the point where she had to call a friend to drive us to the ER. We just didn't know what was going on. In hindsight I should have recognized the symptoms,....I used to get migraines a lot in highschool and the numbness in the right side of my face and tingling in my right hand fingers should have been the tip off,...but it had been over 13 years since I experienced it,...so off to the hospital we went.

While I won't pretend a migraine is as serious as a few strokes,...I can certainly empathize with the frustration of not being able to articulate yourself.

Relic · #20 05-01-2011, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

While my situation wasn't nearly as serious as a stroke,...I caught an incredibly bad migraine that triggered what the doctor called expressive aphasia.

It crept up as my wife and I were having a picnic at a park (that I drove too). I couldn't say the word aluminum unless I pronounced it the way the British do (no joke).

So I drove home where it steadily got worse, to the point where I couldn't even type out a coherent sentence in a Facebook status update.

I scared the crap out of the wife to the point where she had to call a friend to drive us to the ER. We just didn't know what was going on. In hindsight I should have recognized the symptoms,....I used to get migraines a lot in highschool and the numbness in the right side of my face and tingling in my right hand fingers should have been the tip off,...but it had been over 13 years since I experienced it,...so off to the hospital we went.

While I won't pretend a migraine is as serious as a few strokes,...I can certainly empathize with the frustration of not being able to articulate yourself.

I get migraines fairly regularly and while mine aren't as bad as yours was, I also absolutely get the odd effect of not being able to talk right. Actually, I get the same exact effect when my blood sugar gets too low, it kind of sucks. I call it "fumblemouth" where I just will not be able to talk right. It's not that I can't talk clearly, it's just that if I don't talk really slowly and deliberately, it comes out sounding like gibberish.